New to the Poly world.

I

Iloveherandhim

New member
Hello,

Almost 4 years ago I started dating my bf. It was supposed to be a hookup that developed into more. About a year ago I came out to the wife that I was Bi and that I had feelings for someone else. Since then my wife and bf have become great friends, and now have become even better friends if you know what I mean. So I guess we were a V and are now moving toward a triad. My wife and I have been married for almost 10 years and have 3 great kids. The bf currently lives out of state. That's all for now to keep this short.

-Blue
 
Welcome Blue. You are so lucky your wife forgave you for cheating and has accepted your bf into her life, and has even become friends and lovers with him. Beginning poly by cheating and then confessing so rarely goes well. It's usually a horrible train wreck and can take years to rebuild trust.

I know it is difficult for people, especially men, to come to terms with their homosexual feelings and behaviors. But! Count your blessings, dude. Carry on and stay ethical and kind!
 
Greetings Blue,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I read a little more about your sitch and posted about it on the one other thread. It sounds like you've had some growing pains in getting used to the idea of a triad, but I'm sure if you give it some time it will get easier.

Glad you could join us.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Welcome!
 
Welcome. Not a great way to start a triad but whatever works, works. My wife and I had a triad with her girlfriend. She lived with us at first and then got married and moved out of State. However, she visited us at least one weekend a month half many times, for a week or two. We made it work for 38 years until we retired and moved. She was supposed to come with her cuck but life got in the way so we are now a couple again.

I am here to say that it can work and personally think it works in the long term when all members of the triad are in love with each other and no one is the jealous type. How often does you bf visit you? Is your marriage your primary relationship? My marriage was the primary and our girlfriend was very aware of that and would not do a thing with me unless my wife said it was OK even though my wife told her anything goes. As often happens with the secondary person, she wanted a primary of her own and went online to find a cuckold who was into her being with us. It worked without a single problem so if you have the right people you can last a long time. Good luck to you.
 
Wife is def the primary. Bf knows this also. He visits a few times a year so far. We've seen him once this year for a week already. And he will be back in July. He wants me to come and see him in June, but I'm feeling conflicted as to how the wife may feel about that.
 
Have you talked to her about it? If so, what did she say?
 
Iloveherandhim said:
Wife is def the primary. Bf knows this also. He visits a few times a year so far. We've seen him once this year for a week already. And he will be back in July. He wants me to come and see him in June, but I'm feeling conflicted as to how the wife may feel about that.
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You won't find out unless you ask! Are you afraid to ask? Sometimes our fears exceed the reality.
 
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