New to this world and exploring my needs

[exploringself]

Hey everyone. I'm really glad to have found this space. I'm a cis hetero male, and I'm currently in my second marriage with an amazing woman. However, I have always struggled to focus my attraction on one woman. I have always entered into a relationship with the intent and desire to commit, hoping that this one would be the one where all of those other desires settled out of me, so to speak.

This has caused many issues, including one early in this relationship where I was sexting another woman. Up until recently, I fully believed that the only thing that was possible in my life was a monogamous relationship. Now, after doing lots of reading and soul-searching, I think a structured, poly relationship is what would be best for me. Right now I'm trying to figure out the best way to have this conversation with my partner, who I'm fairly certain won't be very receptive to it. Looking forward to connecting and hopefully giving as much energy as I'm getting.

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings exploringself,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I'm glad you found us, I hope we can give you some ideas on how you can approach your wife with this. For the moment I guess my suggestion would be, to say to her, something like, "Honey, I have recently learned of something called polyamory, and it has caught my interest. Is this something we could talk about?" It is possible that she will be torn/uncertain about how she feels about it, and you may end up talking to her about it a number of times. I hope she will eventually decide she can accept it, but that of course is up to her, and poly is not for everyone.

There is a book you might find interesting, it is called, "Sex at Dawn: how we mate, why we stray, and what it means for modern relationships," by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá.

Spend some time exploring Polyamory.com, and let us know if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

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