Newbie in WV

C

curiousjanet

New member
I'm a 28yo sahm currently living in West Virginia. I have two wonderful children, my husband and I have been together 9 years. I have discovered that being a wife and mother has caused me to lose myself. I met my husband at 19, fresh at of high school, and had our first child at 20. I have devoted my life to them and lost myself along the way. I am currently on a journey of self discovery to figure out who I am, my likes and interests and hobbies. Who I truly am.

Brand new to all of this. Husband and I have been in a monogamous relationship, except for my 4 year emotional affair (not physical). Getting caught 8 months ago is what started the talk that has led me here. We are currently discussing an open marriage, but with emotional attachment and dating others, not just flings. I am more open to the possibility than he is, but only time will tell.

Looking for insight, advice, and a community that can answer any questions that may arise while my husband and I are deciding on what is best for us.
 
Welcome, Janet

I'm glad your husband is open to at least listening to you work though this. Identity definitely changes over time and it's not surprising you're reforming yours right now.

I'm sure you'll find a lot of useful stuff on here. Look for blogs and discussions that resonate with you and consider inviting your man to read through the site too. There are quite a few people on here who are mono themselves but in a relationship with a poly person. Their stories might help your hubby until he has the opportunity to meet someone too, if he's even looking to.

Isn't it funny (stupid) how we as women can be seen to confide all sorts of emotionally intimate information about our lives with our other women bffs, but if that bff is male, suddenly it's a threat of some sort to our romantic relationship. It should be ironic, but sadly it's not.
 
So true. We can talk about emotional details, pour our hearts out, have all kinds of sexual conversations, etc with women friends and it's no big deal but if we talk about those same things with a guy friend it's considered an emotional affair. Hubby actually brought up the open marriage but I was honest with him and told him that with me it can't just be sex, I'm just not programmed that way. And that's not what I want. I don't want just some random one night stands, I didn't do that when I was younger and I don't want that now either. Talking about bringing emotions in to the equation is harder for him.
 
Yep, totally. It speaks to the deep social conditioning around m-f relationships. Bleugh.
 
Greetings curiousjanet,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

We're usually pretty good about answering questions, so fire away. There's a lot to learn about polyamory, and Polyamory.com is one of the best sources of info I think.

Sounds like you are somewhat in the process of discovering yourself. Deciding who you are and what you really want in life. I think that's a good thing and I hope we can help.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top