I haven't written in a week. Nothing major happened that I needed to process, just normal life stuff. Things are good, except for my back. I was working out too hard and trying to tell my physical therapist she was increasing the intensity of my exercises too rapidly for my back pain, my age, my weight. But she kept requiring me to do more and more until last Tuesday, I fell apart. Pain from my neck (plus a headache), to my trapezius, all the way down my back, my glutes, the front of my pelvis, and the back of my thigh, all on my right side. Ugh, it pissed me off I got injured when this damn PT is supposed to be strengthening me to reduce my back pain.
So I had several days of "10" pain when before my normal is an 8... I live on painkillers, tramadol and ibuprofen, to be able to function. Now, almost a week later, I am still in more pain than when I started PT. Grrrr. I am about ready to quit PT and just join a gym and go back to water aerobics, which I had done previously for 5 years. If all that PT is supposed to be doing is increasing my lower core strength, I can do that in the pool, and then get a hot tub soak and jets after swimming.
Back to my love and social life! I didn't see Punk again until Saturday. 2 days ago. We didn't chat in between then and last Monday either. I was focusing on my pain and on relating to miss pixi after having been busy with Punk and Biker the previous week (plus I worked that previous weekend). Spending lots of time with her was nice. We also took our dog to the vet for a checkup. She is 13 but doing well, nice to get that reassurance.
We went out for Mexican food for our anniversary on Friday. Saturday she was heading into Cambridge for a reunion of counselors from her camp. I opted to stay home and have a date with Punk. So that worked out well.
miss pixi went to a bowling alley with about 30 of her co-counselors, then most of the group went to a person's house in Medford to hang out. So I had a nice time being alone in the house with Punk. He arrived at 7 and stayed til 11:30. He didn't seem distracted or sad. He was very happy and friendly and energetic, ready for fun, and the sex was awesome. I'd massaged him the past 2 dates, but this time he knew about my injury and massaged me for a change. And that was after the amazing oral sex and fucking. Mmmm... so nice... Just what I needed. Punk was extremely pleased as well.
After we recovered, we made a quick dinner, and he humored me and came downstairs to the family room to watched the SAG awards with me (I love movies and the gowns! ...My sister and I love to talk about the fashions after every awards show). We also chatted during the show of course.
One thing is, though Punk cuddles me after sex, he isn't much of a couch cuddler. I dunno if it's because of his bad shoulder or what. ...I do feel our relationship isn't as intimate as it could be. I would expect, from the amount of time we spend together, after 3 months, we would be "in love." But we aren't. I suspect it's because, well, he obviously has some Mommy issues, he is co-dependent with her. And she is very ill. His emotional energy goes to helping her be as comfortable as possible, and dealing with his grief. We have a distance. I regret it. But it is what it is. I enjoy his company very much, and I know he likes me, even if he doesn't love me. We have had biweekly dates for over 3 months now. To be honest, I wish it was more. I wish he seemed open to actually loving me. I get a little envious reading KC's blog, how deep her relationship is with Woody, etc.
Perhaps it's a good thing though. I am deeply in love with miss pixi. And I was scarred by having loved a narcissist, my last full-on relationship. So if things are a bit less intense emotionally with Punk than they could be, perhaps that is actually healthy for me for now.
Anyway! miss pixi arrived home when I was in bed asleep, bringing two of her friends with her. They spent the night. Then yesterday, Sunday, we 4 went out locally for breakfast, and then we drove them to the bus station in Boston so they could return to Brooklyn NY. We returned home, and an hour or so later, our local friend K (co-counselor, athlete and trans-activist) came over with 2 other counselors from out of state. We had a nice afternoon chatting and having coffee, then we all went out for Indian food before they had to go! I was glad I got to spend time with 5 of the camp staff even though I opted not to go out to the official reunion party. Best of both worlds. Intimate date with Punk, and also hanging out with some really cool intelligent other people the following day.
This week Punk and I are going to go thrift store shopping. We've never done that together, and we both suddenly realized we both love it and need to do it together! I look for Pyrex and other vintage housewares and vintage toys. He looks for wooden furniture that he refurbishes and artistically does wood inlay and decoupage on, to sell.
Hopefully this weekend miss p can get to go see her Master. Both of them had colds and/or sinus infections this month, so she hasn't seen him since New Year's day!