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I've always loved to dance. I love all the arts. I love watching dance, too. I've done lots of normal dancing, the kind where rock or trance music is playing and you wiggle around. I took ballet as a kid and teen. But I've always had a secret wish to be whisked around the dance floor in the arms of a guy who knows what he's doing. Oh, Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly, where was your equivalent in my life? Seems he's finally come, a little late, but better late than never! I used to marvel at the coordination my parents had on the dance floor. They never seemed closer than when they were dancing.

Pixi has been texting me every day. She misses me a lot (even sexually, mwahaha), and she's having a great time, but wishing I was there. However, it slowly dawned on her that today was going to be Mother's Day, and she really wanted to spend it with her mom, who is not all that healthy right now. I gave my blessing. Not sure what she is doing tomorrow, but she says she will be home on Tuesday. It's really a vacation for me, from being her personal care assistant and mom to the dog. But I will be thrilled to have her back in my arms.

Yesterday she went hiking with her hostess, then to a party at a winery, with live music and vendors. Many of the attendees were old friends, and one of the vendors insisted she take some clothing and jewelry for free. Then late at night she went for a moon and starlit drive with her oldest bestie. (The weather has been good in upstate NY.) Today she had brunch with her hostess and the hostess' bf, and then headed to her parents with gifts for her mom and the intent to take her for a drive and dinner.

I saw my man again last night. During the day, he spent a few hours jamming with a new friend for the first time, along with socialising with the guy's gf. He really liked them, and had fun playing bass and guitar after not having played in years.

Then he followed up a CL ad and went to another guy who had a shit ton of wood in his house, that his father had collected when alive. The guy was also a woodworker, but he's been unloading the wood for years. It had taken over. Punk got an entire trunkload of all varieties of wood, for free, and the guy also gave him woodworking tools, vises and stuff! He arrived here on top of the world. I was so happy for him.

He was just as bubbly as can be. I however, had once again hurt my neck attempting to do some gardening the day before. sigh... It led to neck pain and a headache that no amount of my usual painkiller did much for. So, Punk told me I needed orgasms, endorphins, stat, and proceeded to work me over. :) So loving and so thorough. Of course, he was enjoying his own pleasure as well. His joyous mood made him more passionate than ever.

After that, I asked him to put together the meatball subs and a salad while I rested. I also had a couple beers, throwing the whole arsenal of Mother's little helpers at the pain. After dinner, Punk also did the washing up. Then we came to the couch, and he lifted my dress and made me cum a bunch more with his fingers. He is so giving. He gets off on giving me pleasure. (...By the time he left, I was feeling no pain, and had a good night's sleep, and woke up feeling fine.)

He also gave me one of his wooden sculptures, whether it was a "just because" present or an acknowledgement of Mother's Day, I am not sure. But awww, it was so romantic, 2 kissing fish, carved and then pigmented and finished with polyurethane.

On his last visit he had asked to see pictures of me when I was younger, and I showed him my big wedding album. This time, he brought pix of himself in his 20s, some with long hair past his shoulders, some with the shorter hair that was blue on top for his stage Mohawk. Cutie! But I think he is presently handsomer than ever.

He was talking more this week about having a MFM threesome, fantasising during sex and after... he's got a bee in his bonnet about showing me off. Maybe we will need to go to a sex/swinger club sometime, because OKC has been terrible lately. I had another guy showing interest on okc. He seemed rather interesting, and he gave me his number. I told him I'd text him today, and this morning, I did. Did he respond? No. He and I had chatted before. I totally recognised his pix, he is cute. This time he told me he is a skateboarder, 29, as well as a PhD biochemist, and fluent in Russian. Sounded good! I didn't recall what had happened before, but maybe he dropped the ball before as well! Hmph!

So I was alone for Mother's Day today. I read Wicked, I went on a little shopping trip. I didn't find anything fun at 2 thrifts, just ended up getting some groceries, then had lunch and a nap. I was kinda wrung out from the pain of yesterday, I guess. It feels good to be low key and pain free today.

However, I talked to both my daughter and son in the past couple days, and we've made tentative plans for a family reunion next Saturday. I've also invited my ex h and his gf... and my prodigal daughter who hasn't spoken to me in 2 years, but is now back in Mass after 5 years in Texas. We will see what happens. Son will stay on after the family dinner for a longer visit probably. We've hardly seen him this year!

I am so excited to see my baby granddaughters again. Unbelievably, the premie is now 2 months, just 4 weeks past her due date, and already rolling over! The toddler is walking everywhere. She only has a few words, but jibber jabbers in her own language all day long.

On the 22nd I am hosting a Pyrex swap meet here. I've been telling Punk about all my "dish bitches", er, fellow collector friends. Women, straight guys, gay guys. He is interested in meeting them and said he'd come to the swap! He's so sociable and chatty, I am sure he will have fun, despite being colorblind lol

I am seeing him again tomorrow. :) One last date free of the needy dog. Maybe this rain we've had ever since pixi left is finally done and we can go for a hike in the woods.
 
It's been a week since I updated. I've been in a swirl of emotions, up down, good bad, happy sad, confused.

The happy part of course, was my reunion with Pixi. She got home late last Tuesday, with gifts (Pyrex!) and so many stories to tell. We didn't reconnect sexually that night, as she needed to rest and decompress. It's her way, I am used to it. We made up for lost time the next 2 days. Fantastic to be with her again. On Thursday she had an appointment in Boston which I drove her to, so afterwards we could stop in Cambridge at the beautiful Mt Auburn Cemetery, one of my most favorite beauty spots in the world. We had subs first, and then walked and rambled all over, enjoying the spring flowers and birds and water features, and reading the fascinating historical monuments.

However, on the Punk front, things got very upsetting for me. It's our first "conflict," although I am sure I blew it out of proportion. I've been mentioning this MFM threesome idea has been a little goal of ours. Ironically, when I first met Punk, I was dating 2 guys who also had that fantasy. Both of them flaked on me, though, before I could make anything happen, or bring them together.

So... while Pixi was away, I was seeing more of Punk. We basically saw each other every other day. I am not gonna lie, having the place to ourselves for once really allowed our relationship to grow. I felt like I was fully enjoying my NRE for the first time, 6 months into being together! We went on a great date last Monday, an hour long hike in the woods, then to my favorite thrift store, then out to dinner, and home for sex and cuddles and music. So much fun.

Punk is such a talker, but the funny thing is, when we have sex he tends to stop talking. But the last couple times we had sex during the 12 days Pixi was gone, he started fantasising about the MFM threesome idea during sex. It was hot. I do like dirty talk and fantasy during sex. But Monday, during and also after sex, he brought up this sex club idea. I've not been chatting anyone at all good on OKC lately. I've had a couple dates, but nothing has come out of it. No one to bond with enough to get to the point of broaching the MFM idea.

So Punk offered the sex club idea as another way to bring our fantasy to life. During sex, the idea was hot, but once my rational brain returned, I got upset about it.

I found out, Punk used to go to this one sex club in a nearby state, on the regular. This was about 10 years ago, and he loved it. He went with his fiancee, and after they broke up, with his next gf. He was making good money then (it's expensive!), and became a regular at this club, going one or 2 times a month, I think, for about a year and a half!

So then I put all this pressure on myself to decide whether it was something I could do. Swinging is so different from poly. In some ways, it is the complete opposite, even though they are both under the umbrella of non-monogamy. Poly is about love, and swinging is about at least semi anonymous sex... with strangers. I found myself getting actually nauseated thinking about it. I also freaked over the safer sex idea. Blowing multiple guys in one night, without knowing their sexual status? Rolling around on a big bed getting smeared with the sweat, and splashed by cum juices, of strangers?

I am not much of an exhibitionist or voyeur. Punk and I have never even looked at porn together much. The idea of going to this club for the express reason to fuck strangers just seems so weird. Punk also told me stories about his experiences... I am glad he had fun, but I just can't wrap my mind around it. Even though I have had sex on the second date with a lot of guys, and sometimes even on the first date, it's just one guy... I inquire as to his sexual past behaviors and current testing results. At a club, it sounds like people just get down into it, oral and PIV, with whoever. Punk assured me that the usual way for a newbie is to just go and observe, sit at the bar, maybe chat with a couple people, see if anyone seems attractive. Maybe you wouldn't even have sex that night. Or maybe he and I could have sex in the big room, near others, but on our own bed/couch.

Punk admitted that watching others have sex is a turn-on for him (obviously a big one, or he wouldn't have done it so often and for so long). I then felt bad that I found it an actual turn off and trigger to even contemplate.

Another squick for me about swingers clubs is the vanilla aspect. I like a bit of kink, and it probably varies by club, but this one in particular does not encourage fetish clothing or any kinky behaviors such as spanking. I feel like I'd be a freak even for squirting too much. And it's all so hetero, on top of being vanilla. Everyone arrives as a MF couple, and all the sex is MF or FF. Drives me nuts that MM interactions are so frowned upon. It feels so sexist.

So... on Tuesday around noon, I texted Punk. I told him I had a lot of questions and concerns about swinging. He came over on Tuesday (the day Pixi was coming home, expected late) to talk, even though we'd seen each other just the day before. I asked him to please be quiet and listen (as I said, he's a talker). So he did a pretty good job of that. Besides the sex club subject, I told him something about less than pleasant group sex experiences I'd had. He'd heard a little about it before, but no in so much detail. He was appalled at how badly the men I'd tried this with did at it. I've had some good threesomes, but more bad than good. The men sometimes tended to not be able to please both me and the other woman sexually, leaving one or the other of us hanging.... leading to feelings of being left out, and sexual frustration.

I ended up also telling him about the times I'd been sexually assaulted and raped...
 
So we talked things over for a couple hours. It was stressful, I got really tense. I felt bad that he and I weren't on the same page.

I also wondered who would pay for this club... There is a yearly membership, plus a hefty fee each time. It's at least an hour away, and it goes from 9-2am. Would you then drive home exhausted from the sex, and the late hour, or would a hotel room be needed? Punk said he'd pay, once he started selling more of his sculptures.

I got my questions answered, and expressed myself. Punk assured me there was no pressure whatsoever. He could see we weren't on the same page.

I needed some touch then, for reassurance. (Sex would have been ideal, since oddly I was a little turned on by his stories, despite also feeling sick about them lol.) We happened to be standing up, and I reached for Punk. He leaned forward into the embrace, without giving me our usual full body contact. Just touching upper bodies. He kissed me on the cheek. He said he was tired, he hadn't slept well the night before. (Hmph! He'd never done that on a date before.) So I said, OK, let's go take a nap. It will refresh me for when Pixi gets home late.

We went to my bedroom. I took off my clothes and got under the covers. Punk didn't undress! He laid down on the bed on top of the covers, having only taken off his shoes. I felt rejected. I said, can't you get in bed with me naked? I want to cuddle, I won't do anything to you. So he got undressed and got under the covers, and immediately turned his back to me. I spooned him and he talked a little about a current art piece he is working on. We were tending towards sleep, but all of a sudden his IBS kicked up. He blamed the leftovers from our previous night's dinner that he'd eaten as our talk had wound down.

I had other suspicions. I thought he was upset and disappointed, maybe embarrassed, that he'd caused me emotional pain, sharing what he found to be pleasurable reminiscences and fantasies. And that led to his stomach getting upset.

So he said he was very sorry, but he had to go home. I thanked him for at least coming over immediately to talk. But god, I was sad. I wanted cuddles, I wanted sex, and he bailed on me.

It was understandable. It's OK to take a break from heavy subjects when one or the other partner gets emotionally flooded. But it still felt abrupt and I felt abandoned, rejected. I tried to sleep, but couldn't. Instead I got up and did some artwork. Then I checked my phone and saw that the OKC guy who had given me his number, and then not replied when I texted him, had finally texted me back. (I'd said in text, hi, this is Mags, and he'd remembered me as Madelyn and didn't make the connection right away lol).

So I texted him and he responded, and we chatted for an hour or more. Meanwhile, since I was still missing Punk, I texted him a couple of the photos I'd just taken. He responded, and so I told him I was chatting OKC guy. I was wondering if it would help fulfill his voyeurism kink to hear about me negotiating with this guy.

At one point, this guy (only 29 and not seeming all that sexually experienced) was flirting with me, feeling turned on, and told me he loved me. It was more or less a joke. But I told Punk, "This guy said he loves me. Even you have never said that." Punk responded, "I have a high opinion of Eros' dominion and thus do not enter lightly. Not that I'm not leaning that way, but I commit slowly and usually for a long time. Like a Galapagos tortoise." Fair enough. I let that go for the time being. We had enough on our plates.

Finally I wrapped texting up with both men, having set a date with new guy for Monday. (I'm not sure I am that into him though... I am on the fence about actually going.)

A few hours later I had to switch gears when Pixi arrived safely home. I told her a little bit about my issue with Punk, and she was sympathetic and helped me to stop catastrophising. Over the next couple days, she and I talked it over some more, but I didn't want to overload her. (I wanted to vent here, but didn't have the strength to write it all out.)

A couple days later I texted with Punk again, and set it up for him to come over tonight. I am having a family dinner this afternoon with 2 of my kids, and my ex h and his gf, and my daughter's husband and their 2 daughters. Punk couldn't visit come sooner, even though last night would've been perfect since Pixi went to her Masters.' He said he misses Pixi and my son (who will be staying on after the rest of the crew leaves) and would be happy to visit with both.

He and I also talked a bit more about the "L" word... I told him I'd gotten the idea he had certain ideas about saying I love you, which is why I hadn't said it yet either. I have called him "lover" now and then, but have forced myself to not say I love you at times I am most wanting to, like just after sex, or when he leaves to go home. I still don't know what he means by "commitment" but I told him, me saying I love you does not imply a serious step on the relationship escalator.

We also talked about the sex club issue a bit more. He's told me twice not to worry about it. It's something he did, it doesn't define him. I looked up the website of this club. It didn't make me feel any better. There were a lot of misspellings on the updates on theme nights, etc. It sounds like there is a lot of focus on the dance floor as foreplay. Women partially or fully undress, dance with each other. Some men dance too. But some stand aside and discuss who is good with getting it on with whom. So it sounds like a club. A dance club, where people don't just get drunk and try and find someone to go home with. Instead, they stay relatively sober, and find one or five people to go shag in the next room.

The site said the demographic is 22-45 and physically fit. I don't know if they screen for that, or if that is just who attends. (I've heard the saying that, by and large, the swinger crowd is bi and large, so perhaps it's wishful thinking to call the clientele physically fit.) Personally, I am not gonna take my dress off and dance in front of strangers to see if anyone chooses me. It just sounds so... undignified. Like a bunch of skin covered sex robots. Ugh!

So... whew, it's been a week.
 
I'm sorry you're having so much stress about the sex club thing. I can completely understand where you're coming from with that. It sounds like Punk isn't pushing you about it, though, which is good.

If you decide to keep the date with New Guy, I hope you have fun. I should ask you for "how to meet people" tips, you seem to have far better luck than I do! LOL
 
Magdlyn said:
Another squick for me about swingers clubs is the vanilla aspect. I like a bit of kink, and it probably varies by club, but this one in particular does not encourage fetish clothing or any kinky behaviors such as spanking. I feel like I'd be a freak even for squirting too much. And it's all so hetero, on top of being vanilla. Everyone arrives as a MF couple, and all the sex is MF or FF. Drives me nuts that MM interactions are so frowned upon. It feels so sexist.
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Before The Star and her husband The Silent met us, they were looking at swinger sites looking for a second male for an MMF hookup for The Silent. They had a very difficult time finding one. IME the swinger community isn't very supportive of anything too unusual, as you say. It did seem funny to me that they were having such a difficult time finding MM interactions on the internet (as my mentor John used to say with respect to finding male partners "I am so grateful to be alive at the same time that the internet exists") but they realized they were looking in the wrong place.

Someone on another board once wrote in a discussion about polyamory "swinging was invented by men, polyamory was invented by women." There's a lot wrong with that statement but the most obvious thing to me is that swinging was seemingly invented by straight men who aren't particularly comfortable around bi or gay men. Although I was dubbed a "zero on the Kinsey scale" by John I can't believe I'd be too bothered by seeing MM couplings at a sex club, but apparently a whole lot of men are. And I'm particularly amused by the thought of a club that frowned on squirting (I guess G-spot stimulation there is banned or something). Is this club called "The Patriarchy" or something similar?
 
Thanks, KC. I am sure I blew it out of proportion... It was good to write it all out, and find out something about myself and my tastes. We might need to talk about it a bit more, but it doesn't seem like an emergency anymore.


Yesterday I had my family for dinner as planned. It was really fun! My ex's gf is so nice, and we haven't gotten a chance to get together much. Of course, I loved the babies all up. After my daughter and the kids left, Punk came over with his guitar, knowing my son was here and a guitarist, and since my ex and his gf had also brought theirs, they jammed together a while! Strange and cool to have my ex meet my current beau. I guess he knew he was my bf, and not just a friend, since Son has probably mentioned him to his dad. Punk is so outgoing and gregarious, my ex is a friendly guy too, so it was all very chill and normal seeming.
 
OnceAndFuture said:
Before The Star and her husband The Silent met us, they were looking at swinger sites looking for a second male for an MMF hookup for The Silent. They had a very difficult time finding one. IME the swinger community isn't very supportive of anything too unusual, as you say. It did seem funny to me that they were having such a difficult time finding MM interactions on the internet (as my mentor John used to say with respect to finding male partners "I am so grateful to be alive at the same time that the internet exists") but they realized they were looking in the wrong place.
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Yeah, if The Silent wanted actual MM touching/sex, I guess swingerland isn't the place to go. It seems we are lagging, in our culture, in supporting bi men! There are plenty of resources for gay men, and for bi women, and for lesbians, and of course, straight men and women, but bi men? We still need some growth in that area.
Someone on another board once wrote in a discussion about polyamory "swinging was invented by men, polyamory was invented by women." There's a lot wrong with that statement but the most obvious thing to me is that swinging was seemingly invented by straight men who aren't particularly comfortable around bi or gay men. Although I was dubbed a "zero on the Kinsey scale" by John I can't believe I'd be too bothered by seeing MM couplings at a sex club, but apparently a whole lot of men are.
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Well, I do believe there is also a number of women (straight or barely bi-curious probably) who are turned off by bi men. (I know of one particular member here who will only date straight men. If she knows they are bi, she loses all interest.)

Personally, I think 2 men together is hot, the way so many straight guys think 2 women together is hot. Not that I'd be entertained by 2 guys kissing each other in front of me just to turn me on, the way young straight women kiss each other at clubs these days.


And I'm particularly amused by the thought of a club that frowned on squirting (I guess G-spot stimulation there is banned or something). Is this club called "The Patriarchy" or something similar?
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Well, I can't say the club is anti-female ejaculation. Actually on their site, I saw they have "squirting classes" occasionally. I just feel like the volume of fluid I tend to deliver would be outre on a big bed full of orgiasts?


There is a squirting porn star named Cytherea that I like. She is really... prolific. She tends to often hit the camera. I watched an interview with her though, from a few years ago, where she said the crew on porn shoots would sometimes mock her for her squirting. And even some co-stars would find her abilities inappropriate. And then she felt squirt porn had had its heyday, and now has gone out of style.

I really don't know about female ejaculation at a sex club, since I haven't actually been (maybe I will ask Punk what he witnessed). Maybe I am completely wrong, and it would make me "popular" or in demand. But even that sounds so high school, like a competition to be in the cool kids clique. Ugh. ...You do get free towels. I don't know. Question is moot anyway, I'm not going.

The guy I supposedly had a date set up with for last night never got back in touch. He had said he wasn't sure when he was getting off work, and would let me know during the day what time he could make it... but I didn't hear a thing. Just as well, I wasn't really feeling it. I think he was a bit too inexperienced and awkward for me.

I texted Punk around 6 to see if he could come over the next day to help me in the garden. He turned out to be free to come over that night for a late dinner with me and Pixi and Son, so he came over around 7:30. We ate, and then cleared the kitchen table and played a game of Takenoko. Then I whisked him off to the bedroom (and Pixi whisked Son off to the basement family room for loud video games haha). Punk ended up staying til almost 1AM. Nice to have his mom off on vacation so he has a break from his PCA responsibilities. As the evening wound down, he played his guitar and sang to me for a while, apologising for being rusty. He's happy to be picking up the guitar again.

So he said he'd come over this afternoon to help garden. The dog needs a good run too. It's supposed to be 70 and overcast today. Tomorrow is going to be sunnier, so Pixi and Son and I are gonna do a little road trip to the shore. I need me some beach time!
 
Despite the fact that I do like exhibitionism (consensual style, not in "public")...I am NOT into the swinger thing.

I don't like how swinger night at my local fetish club, and others, do the different price structures for single women ($5) single men ($50) and couples ($45). I do not like feeling like a commodity. In my world even with casual partners, their sex is as valued to me as mine is to them, or else I don't want anything to do with it.

It only starts there.

I'm too kinky for swinger night, or for swinger clubs. If I'm going to do sexual exhibitionism, I want some power stuff involved, like restraints and objectification and forced O's. I don't just want to bounce into bed with a bunch of randos.

I've always found it really interesting how on BDSM play nights, actual sex is either not encouraged or just uncommon. I mean it's always about fetish activities like wax, fire, electricity, impact, bootblacking, massage, needles, etc. The only time I've seen sex happening was on either a night where newbies were encouraged to attend, and showed up in force (one particular night I recall was so funny, a guy had his wife on a spanking bench and was getting some mouth love right, and he had a flogger in his hand, and like every few minutes, he'd remember he was holding it, and lazily swat her rear or back with it, but clearly it was not his priority.) And another club I went to orientation at in Denver, but didn't like the feel of the space (too industrial and not warm enough)...they even SAID they had a rule of no sex unless accompanied by overt BDSM stuff.

So it seems like at these clubs, there is a strong boundary drawn between the two, and not a whole lot of people crossing back and forth.

I'd kind of like to experience some MFM one day too, but none of my guys seem to be into it, or at least not with the other guys in our group. *shrug*

One note though, I have seen TONS of personal ads on Fet by men wanting to join in with a couple. Seems it's pretty common there.
 
I just made a serious response elsewhere, now I'm responding to discuss swingers, sex clubs, and squirting (go me).

The Signal and I thought that swinging was the way forward for the non-monogamous life we once wanted. I don't mean to look down on anyone who chooses that lifestyle, but it wasn't for us. Meeting The Star and The Silent, who used to be part of that lifestyle, actually sealed it for us. We realized we wanted to be around partners we could know and trust (and, quite accidentally, fall in love with) more than anonymous partners. I was honestly a terrible swinger, I just enjoyed being on our first date with The Star so much I was like "yeah! Let's go on another date! Oh, right, our next date is supposed to be at the hotel room..."

The Signal and I looked at sex clubs. There were some very sketchy places I'm going to say. Like places out in the middle of nowhere in bad parts of rural states. Places that offered buffets. Or rooms that cost more than four-star hotel rooms. We respectfully passed.

Now I'm just going to say this once, and this is not intended to make me out than anything more than I'm not, but two women I've been with had squirting orgasms for the first time with me. I am no sex god (I will repeat that). I didn't try anything out of the ordinary or even have to try particularly hard to induce them (both of them happened a couple minutes into the first attempt). Both women had had many partners (male and female) before me. And both women swore up and down that they'd never be able to have one, before it happened. Now I have had fewer partners than the average American male--um, in fact, those two women I mentioned were half of my total partners lifetime. What I'm trying to say is, there was no reason those women couldn't have had orgasms like that from previous partners and the only reason they didn't was because their previous partners didn't stimulate them in that way. And that is...sad? I guess? I mean, are people afraid to try new things?
 
... I may regret replying to this, but WTF I'm a little tipsy so why not.

Squirting is a thing I've only acquired as a "thing that happens to me" in the past 2 years. First time was with Tattooed, TheKnight and DinoActivist each did it to me sort of out of curiosity / competition after it happened with Tattooed, and AnotherArtist has consistently done it to me pretty much every time we've been together. It's technique dependent, and truth be told while the orgasms are _different_ if I do it they are not necessarily _better_. And I think a newish partner can help, TBH. I know TheKnight almost never does it to me but did it to Pink!Girl and Sunshine often, while HipsterBoy didn't really ever do it as much to Pink!Girl (and I did once, so there's that.)

I really do think it is just a technique plus novelty thing - I know as I am with AnotherArtist for longer, it's become a little bit less automatic for me to have that sort of orgasm. YMMV, of course, but I don't know that it's necessarily that people don't try new things.

All that said, I once did the swinger scene too and it's _astonishing_ just how sketchy some of those clubs were. ::shudder::
 
Hubby and I were swingers for about 2 years before we headed more towards poly (continued to swing off and on, but not consistently for 2 or so years after that as well).

I've been to 3 clubs. One was in the middle of nowhere in a small town in the Midwest. It had an all home cooked buffet and was in an old church building. lol It was GREAT! The people were fun, there was zero pressure, it was dated but very clean. And let me tell you... Food cooked by a 70 year old swinger was some of the best food I'd ever had. One was a swanky, downtown club. It sucked. It was way too loud, the people were either there just to dance/drink/watch OR to fuck strangers without even the slightest bit of talk beforehand. I like to know your name and your testing status and a bit of your history - I have to like you to want to fuck you and I don't like people I've never spoken to. The third was kind of in between. It's in a neighborhood of a city, but not in a busy section. It's an old building but they're renovating. It was okay.

I've squirted or made women squirt in all of them. The first, everyone was AMAZED. Apparently no one in attendance had ever done or seen it done. My ex was super into what I was doing and we gathered an audience. I was drenched and it was fabulous, and people literally clapped. The second and third I was with various partners (Hubby, another ex, Boy, and a friend with very occasional benefits) and it was a non-issue. No one notices or if they do, they just think it's cool and move on with life. It's not as rare as it once was, I think. You just strip the sheets, ask for some antibacterial wipes or for a host to clean the bed, and go on your way.

I enjoyed swinging. Now, I impact too many people's sexual health to feel comfortable doing it. Well, in theory. In reality, it's just the three of us, but Boy will have sex with someone else again eventually and who knows how many partners that person will have and so on.
 
Thanks to everyone who shared about their swinging experiences!

I've been resting up this week from all the socializing. Family reunion, a week with my son, hosting a Pyrex collectors' swap, all in the space of one week. Fun, but hectic.

I saw Punk on Monday after my son left. Gosh, was I horny. Pixi and I only had 2 fairly brief sexual encounters during and right after Son's visit. So when Punk got here, he was in for it. Yum. However, I kinda wore him out, and finally told him he could get dressed while I continued with my vibe. After a bit, Pixi came in and played with me for a while longer. Still not enough! Finally I was kinda done, and went out and sat with the folks. Punk told me it was hot that they'd both done me while he was here.

We had dinner and good conversations... when he left and Pixi and I went to bed, I again had to put my vibe to use as I snuggled her. lol. One of those days!

Punk has just started seeing a new therapist. I am not sure how long it's been since he saw someone, but he liked her very much and she already helped him have insight about his complicated difficult issues around his mom. I am sure it will be a great support at this time.

The highlight of our visit with Son was a nice trip to a coastal town we'd never visited before. It was a perfect day, walking on the beach and driving around looking at nice houses on the water, and then fish and chips at a restaurant right on the water.

So this week Pixi and I got caught up on household stuff, and gardening, etc. And rebonding and sexy times and movies and all the good stuff. She is getting ready for camp next month too. Organising her archery equipment etc

She's going to camp tomorrow for the weekend they spend getting camp itself ready. Our friend K is driving up to NH with her for that. I am having Punk come while she's gone. Sunday afternoon we have a garden party atTeddy's to go to. We will take separate cars, as it's in the Boston area, and she's going to her Master's afterwards, for the night.

Meanwhile, and I don't want to jinx it, I've been chatting on OKC for several days with a prospect... more later if something come of it. :eek:

Now I gotta go pick up the Chinese food and some wine. Have a great weekend, everyone!
 
Nothing unusual going on here. Just your common ordinary poly life.

The garden party 2 weekends ago was fun. It was a mac and cheese throwdown. Pixi and I took 2 cars since the party was near Boston and she was going to go to her Master's afterwards, for the night, and he lives in Boston too. So, being Sunday, traffic was light, we got there fine. I had thought it was going to be over 80, but instead it was overcast and quite cool. I'd worn a thin dress and brought a sunhat, but needed a cardigan!

Other than being chilly, the party was fun. Nice intelligent interesting people, most I didn't know, but they were friendly enough, I had some good conversations. The food was great. Must have been 12 different mac and cheeses, plus green salads and fruit salads. Maybe 25 adults and 10 children running around in the backyard. Teddy had done his first veggie garden at this house since moving in, and there were lilac bushes in bloom too.

We stayed 3 hours, then we left, Pixi to her bf, me to home. The next day, my back went out, way out, one section of vertebrae seemed totally out of whack. I don't know why! Was it the driving? Traffic wasn't bad, I didnt feel I got that tense or anything. Standing around on the patio in sandals? Who knows.

So I had chiro a couple times that week. The first adjustment didn't help, but the second one seemed to help some. Then that night I saw Punk and somehow the sex we had was just what I needed. I got a good spanking too. I noticed I started to tense up from the spanking, so I forced myself to keep my back relaxed. Then we fucked in a couple of comfortable positions. It was really great. Next day, the kink in my back had gone completely away! The blood flow and the exercise of the sex must have put the spine back in order.

2 days ago, Pixi and I went to Holyoke MA to see the ancient dinosaur tracks that were discovered in sandstone there in the 1920s. So fun, cool and wonderful! And right next to the beautiful Connecticut River. It was a lovely day, so we just hung out looking at the tracks and rambling around on the riverside for a couple hours. Then we drove up to Northampton (lesbian capitol of the East Coast) and walked around town, window shopping, people watching. Finally we drove back to Holyoke and had dinner with a friend we know from camp. He'd moved there recently.

After all the walking by the river and around Noho, my back was still fine! Thank god the pain of the previous week was just a glitch in my healing and not a major setback.
 
Yesterday Punk came over at 6:30. His mom has been such a bitch ever since I knew him. Here he is, quitting his job to do her hospice care, and spend positive time with her in the time she has left, and all she ever does is emotionally abuse him. He works so hard to make her comfortable, clean house, cook, drive her places, entertain her, and she just treats him like shit. She actually tells him he is worthless and never does anything right. Even after she and his dad were away for 10 days on vacation, he cleaned the house from top to bottom, including washing down the walls from her cigarette smoke. She was happy for a half hour, then started back in with the yelling about how he never does anything right, he is worthless, useless.

When she was away, she asked him to get her a hospital bed. So he did, and when she saw it, she had it taken away, since Punk getting it proved he wanted her dead. Insanity! That is what he is dealing with.

He's been in therapy for this problem now for 3 weeks and his therapist has advised him to tell his mom he won't engage, and when she gets to yelling and cursing, he leaves the room, or the house, if necessary. She is mostly in a wheelchair, but she must have some strength left, because her screams of anger at him carry through the house and outside too! It's embarrassing for him. So he is refusing to engage, and her response is to try and start a fight whenever they are in the same room. He knows it is (partly) because she is scared to die, partly because she is a control freak and has lost control now that she is less mobile. But that doesn't mean he has to be her whipping boy.

So yesterday when he got here, he was emotionally exhausted from being screamed at but trying not to engage. But he got right to work on taking out a bush in front of our house. Last week I'd asked him if he'd be willing to do that. He had brought the perfect power tool for the job. While we were working on that, Pixi was starting a job out on the deck. She is making arrow holders for 4 different lengths of arrows for kids at her camp. She had bought a 20 foot length of PVC pipe.

Punk and I finished the bush job, and took a little break, and he vented about his mom to me a bit. Then we helped Pixi get the pipe set up on the workbench she brought out on the deck. Punk had brought his mitre box to help cut the pipe straight. Pixi and I held the pipe and Punk cut off the first section. Then I could see how tired he was, and asked if he was hungry. He admitted he was, so I gave him a brownie and some fruit salad, and he helped me get food in the oven for dinner. Then we all did one more cut in the pipe, but a thunderstorm whipped up so we had to bring everything inside.

After we ate, Punk and I had some sexy time. He just did me... he was too tired to fuck, but it was fun making out and getting fingered. Afterwards I snuggled him close and he napped a bit. I was just trying to do everything I could to support him, since he is so stressed from his mom. Yardwork, food, jokes, sex, snuggles. After his little nap, I said it. I said, "I love you," for the first time outright. He got all smiles and held me and there was this glow between us.

Last week he'd given me a silver ring he made from a coin. Last night after I said I love you, he told me about another present he is making for me. He has this plate rack and he is making a sign to hang on it that says "Mags' Pyrex." I know his love languages are acts of service, quality time, touch. I don't need the words, I don't mind if he isn't ready to say it. I got teary when he told me how he is personalising the plate rack for me. Last week he told me he wanted me to have the ring because he likes me very much. That's good enough!

:) :) :)

Later this month and into July, Pixi is going to camp for 3 weeks straight. She has been a little ball of fire around the house because of her deadline. Household projects are getting completed, she is organising her dressing room and basement workshop and storage areas, as well as working on all the archery equipment. It's nice to see her feeling well and being productive. We took the trip to see the dinosaur footprints because she told me she wants to do some special things with me before she goes away. Sometime in the next week we will go have a real beach day. I think my back is able to handle it.
 
Last weekend I did some light gardening I just had to do. I had a bunch of flower seed packets, some of which pixi had bought last year, and I wanted to get them into 2 beds. I also had a mere 2 tomato plants to put in the ground. So I paced myself in the adding of compost, the scattering of seeds, the planting, wrangling the hose to water it all in, and finally mulching.

In the middle of the night I woke up and found I had blood running down my legs. Oh great, another health problem. I haven't had a period in 8 years. I'd had very light spotting for 6 hours or so, the 2 months previous to this too. But this time I had to go get a pack of pads and everything.

I wondered if it was from all the work the chiro has been doing on my lower back. Adjusting all those muscles, after an entire life, 60 years, of being unaware of my leg length discrepancy, it's gotta be really shaking things up down there. And the nervous system is responding, which I think could effect hormones.

I had chiro that day. He said he'd never had this happen to a patient in his long career. So I called my GP and have an appointment on Tuesday to get some tests done. I suspect it could be fibroids (very common in women over 50) or some kind of hormonal imbalance.

On this past Tuesday, I had to work 20 miles away. My back was a little sore from the gardening, but once I got to work, the pain lessened. I didn't overdo at work, I mostly sat on the couch and read stories to the kids.

But after driving home again (45 mins each way), my back spasmed again, just like it had after Teddy's party. And this time there had been no city driving at all. A little highway driving, a little back country roads. What the hell.

I spent the next 2 days popping pain meds and lying on the couch. Our plans for going to the beach had to be scuttled. Grrr! By late Thursday the pain finally started to ease, and I had chiro on Friday. Now I am afraid to drive anywhere for more than an hour! Oddly, if Pixi and I are going somewhere together, and she drives, it doesn't seem to bother me.

Teddy was having another afternoon garden party on Saturday (yesterday). The theme this time was Mad Hatter Tea Party, either wear a kooky hat, or dress Alice in Wonderland style. T was going to be serving tea and lemonade and scones and little sandwiches. But my friend K had asked to get together Sat night. She is all verklempt about Orlando (as I am... it might even have contributed to my back pain this week...), and I wanted to get together to support and cheer each other. I figured I could only do one social event, so I chose her.

Pixi left for her Master's at 4:30, and around 7 both K and Punk came over. We had a very pleasant evening! (cont)
 
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We sat on my deck as the sun went down, having beers. So nice, no mosquitoes this year. (So far.) Nice chat. Then we made sandwiches and went downstairs to watch Deadpool. Both my friends had seen it in the theater. But they both loved it so much, they wanted to see it again! My projector TV and big screen is practically a theater experience. Punk isn't much into movies because of his ADHD, so I knew this movie was going to be a good one, if he even wanted to watch it twice. And it didn't disappoint. Very fast paced and funny.

K left at 10 since she had to get up early for a day of disc golf. I'd been thinking Punk and I wouldn't have sex this visit, because K was here and also because, the last couple times he visited, we haven't had intense sex, or any sex, because of him being tired, stressed, and/or his IBS kicking in because of his mother being a bitch.

But once K left, he basically attacked me! What a pleasant surprise that was. :) He was super hard and horny, omg, it was great. One O after another for me, the man did not let up. Woohoo! He ended up not leaving til 11:30.

I don't know why he didn't need to rush home to keep his mom "content." His dad leaves for work at 10 pm and Punk almost always tries to get home before 11. And it's a half hour drive. But I didn't ask, I just enjoyed. :eek:

I should add that the fun day got off to a good start because I'd noticed a neighbor having a yard sale and I went over with Pixi and we found lots of neat things, including Pyrex and other vintagey goodness, for really good prices. The gentleman that had moved out (or died, not sure) had been the original owner of the house, which, like ours, is from 1962. His family was clearing it out. There were items for sale in the yard, 2 sheds, the back deck and even inside. It was fun poking around all over!

So, a rough week healthwise, but I felt well enough in the end to have a really good Saturday!
 
I didn't do too much yesterday. My back was feeling OK for most of the day, but I didn't want to push things (as usual). Getting old is so fun. Not. ...Other than some light housework, I did some photography, and in the evening I baked an Amish Cinnamon cake, a new recipe I got from someone on my Pyrex collectors board. It came out great... of course, it's butter and sugar, so it's gonna taste good, but it also has buttermilk in it, so the texture was really nice.

So the rest of this post will be about what Pixi is getting done. My young 38 year old partner with tons of energy and strength!


She was busy all day, getting organised some more before she goes away to camp this Thursday. In May she had gone back to her hometown, and her mom gave her lots of her old things. Including 3 boxes of her baby/toddler clothes and blankets! Well, of course, this is a tough one, because those clothes were saved to be passed down to Pixi's own children. But she can't have any children because of her gender transition. So, just donating them to Savers is hard for her. Plus, being raised by hoarders, she has some tendencies that way, and gets "too" sentimentally attached to objects. But she managed to put some of them in a donation bag. Maybe 1/3. The rest she is packing away in a proper plastic bin we can store. She has a pregnant friend back home who might take some. I mean, they were adorable clothes! 1970s cuteness. I love babies. I love vintage. I love clothing as art.

We both cried for a bit at one point in the sorting process. She has regrets at knowing she will never have a bio child. I am lucky I did get to have 3 kids, but I have regrets of my own about parenting, so somehow I felt empathy and we shared some cleansing tears.

In the meantime, Pixi is also working on making a sample kite. She is going to teach several things at camp. Archery is the main thing she will be teaching daily, but she's also been asked to do a couple classes on kite making, and knot tying, and nature classes/hikes. So I helped her cut cardboard to make a "sled kite" (similar to a box kite) template on Saturday, and yesterday she made a kite out of white plastic garbage bags and skewers. I love to see her tinker and build.

She's feeling anxious about being away for 3 weeks. I am not thrilled with it either. Other summers it has only been 2 weeks, but the camp added another week, and she chose to commit to it. So, 2 weeks of transkids and 1 week for height challenged kids.

She gets 24 hours off on her second week. Somehow we need to get together for that. It's a 2.25 hour drive one way... I half jokingly suggested we should just meet halfway and get a hotel room. Thinking of my back. Maybe we should just do that. I don't want to drive all the way to camp, and back, in 24 hours.

I made dinner last night so Pixi could keep doing her projects.

Oh, Teddy put up about 25 pix of his Mad Hatter Tea Party on FB, so at least we got to see the adorable decorations! He and his roommates had done such a cute job. There were playing cards hanging on a string on his fence, a poster of Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, a cute sign out front with a Cheshire Cat painting and confusing arrows pointing different ways to the backyard party, and 3 long tables set with great tablecloths, and vintage teacups and teapots, and scones and cookies and sandwiches, and flowers, and various papers he'd printed off with quotes from the Alice books, etc., etc. There was a Barbie dressed as the Red Queen riding in a carriage on the table too.

He had pix of himself and his guests too. Actually he was the only guy, besides a couple of kids. The ladies and little girls, and one of the boys, who may be trans, had on great outfits and hats of all kinds. Big huge picture hats loaded with flowers, to small fascinators with veils. Pretty dresses, exaggerated makeup. Most of the kids were in Disney princess gowns, and they looked so adorable holding their fancy teacups. Teddy wore a huge top hat, a vest, rabbit earrings, and had painted his nails white with a different card "suit" on each one, hearts, spades, etc. Too bad we had to miss this, but seeing the pix was good.

I didn't need much in the way of pain meds all day, until about 9pm. Then I started getting achy. Maybe the very vigorous sex I'd had with Punk finally had an effect on my muscles. I went to bed around 10:30, and Pixi surprised me by sexing me up a little then. She is trying to give me quality time before she leaves, while also getting her organising done. So that was sweet of her.
 
So, Pixi left last Friday, almost a week ago. I've been managing fine. We managed to text a bit here and there. She may be able to get a full 24 hours off this weekend and just drive home to see me and the dog. Haven't heard if that is firm yet.

Reading Bluebird's blog about her bf's back pain... I wanted to empathise there but didn't want to clog up her blog. So, here's a recap. I've had back pain since my 40s, 20 years now. Back then, I went to a chiro who helped me a lot, to the point that I stopped going. However, it started acting up again pretty badly about 2 years ago. I pretty much was taking ibuprofen every day. I looked into chiro, but my present insurance didn't cover it. It did cover osteopathy, so I went to the one at my health clinic in Boston. He gave me 2 adjustments over 2 weeks, seemed quite similar to what a chiro does. And an exercise to do. He recommended physical therapy, but I didn't commit to going.

About 6 months later the pain started getting bad again, so in about May of 2015 (last year) I went back to the osteo, got adjusted, but it didn't help much. So I made an appointment with PT locally.

A few days before my first appointment, I fell coming in from my deck, walking through the sliders with damp feet, I put one foot on the welcome mat on the tile floor. I had plant pots in my hands. With my other foot, I stepped on the floor, but my foot slid. So did the foot on the mat, and I fell forward, the pots flew out of my hands, and I landed flat on my face, having barely broken my fall with my left hand and knee. I was in a starfish shape, with the bucket of dog food between my legs.

I slowly got up, and felt OKish but the next day my wrist started to hurt. Went to urgent care. Long story short, I'd sprained my wrist, knee and back. My already hurting back.

Finally I felt healed up enough by January, to start PT. It just made me worse. The therapist just determined I needed to strengthen my lower core, and worked me out so hard, I felt I resprained my back from neck to knee. I stopped going after 4 weeks.

When I'd checked into how many appointments my insurance covered for PT, I found that it now covered chiropractic!
 
So, a couple weeks after ending PT, I started chiro. He had me go get xrays. He diagnosed that my problem all along was one leg being 6mm shorter than the other. I've been on daily tramadols and ibuprofen for extreme pain since last July, and was taking the tramadol once a day every other day for a year longer, since the osteopath first prescribed it.

My former chiro would lie me on the bed and see my legs were different lengths, but after an adjustment, he'd check my feet and see they were the same length. But my new chiro said, that doesn't mean anything unless you're checked standing up! So, he gave me a heel lift. Which entails wearing closed shoes. Which sucks because I wear a women's 11 1/2. But anyway.

I am maybe just starting to make some progress. I feel more balanced when I walk because of the heel lift alone, but all the muscles in my back have to be rearranged. And they've been set to accomodate the unknown leg length discrepancy for all my life! It's a long and winding and twisted road of healing, and heating pads, and meds, and twice weekly chiro appointments. I spend a lot of time on the couch. I can't vacuum more than one room in a day. Lately, even driving or being a passenger for more than an hour can knock me out for 2 days.

It makes me a grumpy boring, not fun Mags and partner to pixi and Punk. So frustrating. Luckily I can do a couple hobbies, I read a lot of books, I read and write on message boards. I can still have sex most of the time, as long as I am careful about positioning. I can cook and do dishes. I can go thrift shopping, using the shopping cart as a walker. I can't change up my dish displays in the living room as often, since most of my collection is stored in the basement and it's scary on the stairs carrying heavy bowls. I can walk the dog, but slowly. I can't beach walk, so I feel the summer is slipping away from me.

Let's add to the fun! Over the past few months I've had some vaginal bleeding. Since I am 8 years post menopause, this is not good. It seemed to come once a month. The first 2 months it was just a very light spotting. Earlier in June, I had a full flood of blood, and I had to go buy a package of pads! I wondered if all the chiropractic could be a cause, shaking everything up in my pelvis, affecting nerves and hormones.
 
The chiro denied this could be the case. I don't know, I still think it could be related. So pixi drove me to our clinic in Boston. (It specialises in LGBT care, that's why I travel so far, and the drs there are all so nice.)

I had an exam and had labs run. The dr said I needed a transvaginal ultrasound, but since I didn't want to travel to their affiliated hospital, I decided to have it done locally. Then my labs came back positive for a "high risk" HPV. So now I also need a colposcopy and imaging for that! Since Punk and I are fluid bonded, I can't help but wonder if I got it from him. He was tested before we started going bareback but I am not sure if he was tested for HPV...

Meanwhile, I changed my insurance to MassHealth. That is kicking in tomorrow. After much back and forth between my local hospital and my clinic, I've finally got an appointment for the ultrasound for today at 3. I need to drink a quart of water by 2, and not use the bathroom until they do the US. They are looking for fibroids, I guess. That sounds like the most likely thing to cause post menopausal bleeding.

After that is done, and my new insurance is in place, I need to find a good local GYN to do the other tests.

It's all so fucking stupid and annoying. I feel so young in my brain, but my body is saying, Oh, no, honey, no.

So... I can totally relate to what WarMan is going through with his back!

In better news: Since I am on computer so much, I can check OK Cupid, and look for another partner to share time and sex with. I've had a few first dates in the past 8 months or so, but no one worked out. Until yesterday. The guy is actually from Fetlife. He messaged me. He lives in my town. We had lunch and a nice chat. I find him attractive physically and mentally. He also liked me. He is 27 but has a Master's degree and a good job, and has lived a full life. He is open minded about sex and alternative relationships. He is from India but has lived here 10 years. He is new to my town, but got his education in Boston. We are meeting again tomorrow at 1pm. So, that's a bright spot in my life. After our next date, I will come up with a nickname.

He might be the one who wants to have 3some sex with Punk and me. He's done some of that and is open to it. I think Punk will like him too and maybe it will all work out. After our lunch we had a nice kiss by my car. Tomorrow I will have him over.
 
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