Mthood143
New member
Hi everyone!
I consider myself a smart man. So why did I wait this long to get involved in a polyamorous community while identifying as polyamorous? Maybe it’s time to reassess “smart” in my vocabulary.
How far back do I go? Man, we are all only our story in the end, so make it a good one. But I will be brief.
I’ve always been a sensitive person. Empathic. Wanting to know others. See and feel through them. Have them do so through me. Commune. Join. Love. I squashed that down in my youth experiencing a lot of emotional neglect from my father. My mother was always available.
I subscribed to monogamy “cuz that’s what ya do”. My word is my bond. I don’t eff around with games. I do what I say and own up to being out of integrity. I am rare in that regard and also a bit intense in my philosophy of keeping ones word. I don’t judge people (I catch and release my thoughts around this) and I do call them out for being out of integrity - with care and love.
I am also a goof and a nerd. I’ve done stand up and improvisational acting and love being quick and smart. The last one can be a challenge. The first one is not related to sex - I like edging.
10 years into a monogamous marriage I came out as poly. I really looked at my desire to connect with others on an intimate level. It was more than friendship that I desired. It took 4 years for my loving wife to try it. She went first. She loved the NRE and the sex. She couldn’t find love. She tried. I tried too. I did not find love and the sex was “ok” but I already knew that the sex would only be great if there was deep love.
Even though we found no third or fourth person to join our travels I KNEW I still wanted this. My wife said it was too hard and wanted to go back to monogamy. I said I would and she saw my pain. She knew I was a man of my word and loved that about me and she loved me so much she couldn’t do that to me. She said we should divorce and we should find our loves in the world of our choosing. She in monogamy and me in polyamory.
I cried so hard as she said these things. It was the most beautiful and sad moment. I wanted her to feel what I felt. She tried, did not, and released me with love.
When the youngest graduated I sold the house, split the money and we moved to other states. I was in reset mode. Working. Writing. Reading. Not looking. It was a pandemic and I was in a new town - a very small new town.
If you get to know me, I will share how I met my current partner. Such a good story. She learned I am poly on day 2. We are on day 200 about now. She tried it before as a third - never from the position of a primary. This week we are both having our first exercise in adding someone. She is seeing M and I am seeing S. M is her male friend from college and S is my female friend from college. Perfect!
I don’t move fast trying to add partners. I don’t settle on the ones that are immediately interested. I have deep and hard conversations. I make love slow and for as long as possible. I swim in my partners. They swim in me. This is a spiritual journey for me and dammit, I’m going to create a beautiful world.
Hit me up if you like laid back intensity. That is me. I hope to grow friendships with people interested in what I’ve laid out in my introduction.
My blog I need to pick back up:
www.twoimportantthings.com
Namaste and all that good stuff.
I consider myself a smart man. So why did I wait this long to get involved in a polyamorous community while identifying as polyamorous? Maybe it’s time to reassess “smart” in my vocabulary.
How far back do I go? Man, we are all only our story in the end, so make it a good one. But I will be brief.
I’ve always been a sensitive person. Empathic. Wanting to know others. See and feel through them. Have them do so through me. Commune. Join. Love. I squashed that down in my youth experiencing a lot of emotional neglect from my father. My mother was always available.
I subscribed to monogamy “cuz that’s what ya do”. My word is my bond. I don’t eff around with games. I do what I say and own up to being out of integrity. I am rare in that regard and also a bit intense in my philosophy of keeping ones word. I don’t judge people (I catch and release my thoughts around this) and I do call them out for being out of integrity - with care and love.
I am also a goof and a nerd. I’ve done stand up and improvisational acting and love being quick and smart. The last one can be a challenge. The first one is not related to sex - I like edging.
10 years into a monogamous marriage I came out as poly. I really looked at my desire to connect with others on an intimate level. It was more than friendship that I desired. It took 4 years for my loving wife to try it. She went first. She loved the NRE and the sex. She couldn’t find love. She tried. I tried too. I did not find love and the sex was “ok” but I already knew that the sex would only be great if there was deep love.
Even though we found no third or fourth person to join our travels I KNEW I still wanted this. My wife said it was too hard and wanted to go back to monogamy. I said I would and she saw my pain. She knew I was a man of my word and loved that about me and she loved me so much she couldn’t do that to me. She said we should divorce and we should find our loves in the world of our choosing. She in monogamy and me in polyamory.
I cried so hard as she said these things. It was the most beautiful and sad moment. I wanted her to feel what I felt. She tried, did not, and released me with love.
When the youngest graduated I sold the house, split the money and we moved to other states. I was in reset mode. Working. Writing. Reading. Not looking. It was a pandemic and I was in a new town - a very small new town.
If you get to know me, I will share how I met my current partner. Such a good story. She learned I am poly on day 2. We are on day 200 about now. She tried it before as a third - never from the position of a primary. This week we are both having our first exercise in adding someone. She is seeing M and I am seeing S. M is her male friend from college and S is my female friend from college. Perfect!
I don’t move fast trying to add partners. I don’t settle on the ones that are immediately interested. I have deep and hard conversations. I make love slow and for as long as possible. I swim in my partners. They swim in me. This is a spiritual journey for me and dammit, I’m going to create a beautiful world.
Hit me up if you like laid back intensity. That is me. I hope to grow friendships with people interested in what I’ve laid out in my introduction.
My blog I need to pick back up:
www.twoimportantthings.com
Namaste and all that good stuff.
