Oklahoma single woman novice
- Thread starter Oklahoma7Artist
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Dragonfly4253
New member
My take on the dating sites.
POF is absolutely not poly friendly. If they find out you are in a relationship you get deleted. Princess got hers deleted for saying she was married and looking for an open relationship.
However when I was single, I actually met Lovey on POF. I also met a lot of other crazy people.
OK Cupid I have never met anyone. No one reads my profile and I mostly just get random messages from single men.
And I actually met Honey and Princess on AFF which is a swinger site. LOL. So really all the websites have their ups and downs. They all have their advantages and disadvantages. Sadly poly does not have enough popularity that their dating websites have enough people to have selection.
POF is absolutely not poly friendly. If they find out you are in a relationship you get deleted. Princess got hers deleted for saying she was married and looking for an open relationship.
However when I was single, I actually met Lovey on POF. I also met a lot of other crazy people.
OK Cupid I have never met anyone. No one reads my profile and I mostly just get random messages from single men.
And I actually met Honey and Princess on AFF which is a swinger site. LOL. So really all the websites have their ups and downs. They all have their advantages and disadvantages. Sadly poly does not have enough popularity that their dating websites have enough people to have selection.
Thanks for that additional info on POF.
Well yeah, I like, figure eHarmony.com is a very good dating site too ... for any single person who is looking for another single person. But when I'm recommending dating sites from here on Polyamory.com, I try to limit my recommendations to sites that at least seem to be tolerant of polyamorous configurations.
I bombed out on OKCupid, and I know others have as well, yet I'd have to say the most success stories I've heard, for poly people, have come from OKCupid. That's all I'm sayin' ...
Well yeah, I like, figure eHarmony.com is a very good dating site too ... for any single person who is looking for another single person. But when I'm recommending dating sites from here on Polyamory.com, I try to limit my recommendations to sites that at least seem to be tolerant of polyamorous configurations.
I bombed out on OKCupid, and I know others have as well, yet I'd have to say the most success stories I've heard, for poly people, have come from OKCupid. That's all I'm sayin' ...
I can't speak for the second quote because I found POF was awful and didn't stick around long enough to find out if it was poly friendly. I did meet a lot of poly people on OKCupid, some of which turned into enjoyable but short relationships and many of which turned into long term friendships.
Certainly it is much more poly friendly than POF if POF is deleting married accounts. OKCupid even has an option to choose whether you are monogamous or non-monogamous.
Last edited:
Thanks
Thanks for all that on dating sites.
I'm widowed ( killed my wife using cancer or she committed suicide using cancer? Got rid of the bitch! Cement was too expensive so we burned her up, then took her and mom's ashes died the same year and spread them all over the world.)
My two favorite places well three maybe four by the time I get done, Sistine chapel, in front of the pieta, the uffitzi gallery in Florence, top of whatever that dome is in Florence.
When we threw some of mom into the ocean, two dolphins jumped in a pair then did a stright shot up spinning whatever that is called with the second handful.
Of course the law is you must be twelve miles from the shore, but I calculate I was hundreds of miles from the east coast of Florida. I mean what was the purpose if all those law classes, if you can't put it to practical use.
So fishing and hunting sites. I think about 90% seem to be guys. Most of the really hot sub babes are very Barbie and living in Ghana. I mean, if I ever make it there, I'm coming out with a Harum.
First there was Procol Harum then Boko Harum (ok Nigeria but really they are all from Michigan and studying nursing) I need a nifty name for my Harum of hot sub bi nurses from Ghana!
If you want a totally fucked up site, like you need an internet experience that is like musical chairs, but with dried corncobs to sit in (yes Jony all the way down)
Mingle2
Thanks for all that on dating sites.
I'm widowed ( killed my wife using cancer or she committed suicide using cancer? Got rid of the bitch! Cement was too expensive so we burned her up, then took her and mom's ashes died the same year and spread them all over the world.)
My two favorite places well three maybe four by the time I get done, Sistine chapel, in front of the pieta, the uffitzi gallery in Florence, top of whatever that dome is in Florence.
When we threw some of mom into the ocean, two dolphins jumped in a pair then did a stright shot up spinning whatever that is called with the second handful.
Of course the law is you must be twelve miles from the shore, but I calculate I was hundreds of miles from the east coast of Florida. I mean what was the purpose if all those law classes, if you can't put it to practical use.
So fishing and hunting sites. I think about 90% seem to be guys. Most of the really hot sub babes are very Barbie and living in Ghana. I mean, if I ever make it there, I'm coming out with a Harum.
First there was Procol Harum then Boko Harum (ok Nigeria but really they are all from Michigan and studying nursing) I need a nifty name for my Harum of hot sub bi nurses from Ghana!
If you want a totally fucked up site, like you need an internet experience that is like musical chairs, but with dried corncobs to sit in (yes Jony all the way down)
Mingle2
Oklahoma7Artist
New member
Pof
Actually I'm living proof POF is way more than shaky....I have been on there several years and have not met anyone worth meeting. Or they say they are one way and they aren't. It's kinda like all the paying sites got together and created POF so that people wouldn't have luck on there just so it would push people back to a paying site. LOL!
The part that disurbs me these days is most men on there are talking about sex in the third sentence of first talking, and asking for nude pics. So that tells me there are a lot of women complying. When it's VERY clear what I'm looking for in my profile. Men don't read them, they just look at pics and blindly click. Fickle is what I call it.
Actually I'm living proof POF is way more than shaky....I have been on there several years and have not met anyone worth meeting. Or they say they are one way and they aren't. It's kinda like all the paying sites got together and created POF so that people wouldn't have luck on there just so it would push people back to a paying site. LOL!
The part that disurbs me these days is most men on there are talking about sex in the third sentence of first talking, and asking for nude pics. So that tells me there are a lot of women complying. When it's VERY clear what I'm looking for in my profile. Men don't read them, they just look at pics and blindly click. Fickle is what I call it.
Oklahoma7Artist
New member
Original Post
How can I have put that in my original post? I'm NEW which means I'm not familiar with any of it but wanting to learn more. My original post is VERY clear about what I'm wanting. I have had a threesome mff and didn't care for it. I wouldn't feel comfortable about being with married men either.
How can I have put that in my original post? I'm NEW which means I'm not familiar with any of it but wanting to learn more. My original post is VERY clear about what I'm wanting. I have had a threesome mff and didn't care for it. I wouldn't feel comfortable about being with married men either.
Talking about sex
I think of that as a filter. I was helping a woman I dated, well met for coffee. And told her I was not interested. We got to talking about pof.
I told her men do not read much past the title and the pictures. Certain types of pictures give off a "I'm a party girl" and title is either so bland that the thing does not register in their minds.
Men are visual. But all humans are read Naked Ape by Desmond Morris.
He was one of the first people working in this field, so a good place to start
I worked him briefly setting up a system to track eye movement, length of pause (these are milliseconds) and to track spots that were revisited.
People took at eyes and lips more than 85% of the time. They revisit the outside edge of eyes and track around the pupils. The edges of your lips get revisits and longer pauses.
After a man had looked at ten photographs, he would sit down and fill out a questionnaire of his impressions of each face (the photographs were put back up)
When he had many positive or negative things to say about any particular woman, we would go back (new session a few days later) show him a few pictures of one particular girl, but start with first picture (remember her?)
On a positive girl, we tried to show less flattering facial expressions to see if we could influence his first impression. Mostly no. Same on a negative girl.
I was working in body language and impressions. My work as a neuromuscular specialist deals in training the motor cortex for better coordination.
We worked a bit with video, but could never get the tracking system to work with a moving image (older Macs and just too much data. The still pics were really pushing the machines)
I was working in conjunction with a person who trained people to be interviewed on TV, how they sit, how they walk in, generally how they act, eye contact (oddly looking at a person interviewing you creates a bad impression), but body movement was major deal.
So I am interested to see Tinder's app, but I live in a place were zero people are!
However it is a totally visual. I do not know anything beyond that.
In POF. Pick what your male friends you like and respect say is your best shot, listen to the words they use.
Place that first
Never have more than three pics
Two portrait well lit, clear, in focus, smiling, but needs to be relaxed and natural.
I found when I worked with models, I got to meet some amazing photographers. They say on average 400 shots they get anywhere from 1-12 good photographs. And these are pros who know tons about light, composition, contrast and feel. They are talking all the time they are shoot looking to create a mood and feel.
Once you think you have the three (last is a full body, head to knees) most people look best in a 3/4 to 2/3 profile.) again well lit, clean background without feeling like you are in a studio with a single color background.
Not a bar.mif you need a glass of wine to relax, make sure it is not in the picture.
Once you get that part
Think of a clever title that is positive.
Do put good interesting text in your profile
Fucking generic I like a man who knows how to treat a woman
WFT? I treat a princess like a maid and the poor girl like a princess.
90% of the men do not read, so put something in the end like
A uniques subject in first sentence.
Don't tell them to NOT talk about sex.
Tell them intelligent men are attractive.
For every 20 guys you are going to get 1.5 worth opening a dialog
If you can't be bothered to out together a good profile, I don't want you
If you have some stupid hi
I don't want you
Fill out everything.
So that is a fairly large amount of information.
In my life for every 100 women I slept with, I want to go back to only 10.
That first pic should stop men. It should stand out.
Make up should be so subtle you do not see it.
Then once you have a great pic or two, make two email addresses and make two tinder accounts and test.
Tinder sounds interesting because they limit distance
POF limits age I forget what but 10-15 years max.
So not cougar friendly
Not good for trophy wife hunting.
Before you place an ad, do a thirty day list of the ideal guy
List some of these things in your what I am looking for.
Stay the fuck away of negatives in this, so like I don't want a playboy, chewter stuff
When you don't know where you are going,many road will get you there.
Hope this is useful.
Actually I'm living proof POF is way more than shaky....I have been on there several years and have not met anyone worth meeting. Or they say they are one way and they aren't. It's kinda like all the paying sites got together and created POF so that people wouldn't have luck on there just so it would push people back to a paying site. LOL!
The part that disurbs me these days is most men on there are talking about sex in the third sentence of first talking, and asking for nude pics. So that tells me there are a lot of women complying. When it's VERY clear what I'm looking for in my profile. Men don't read them, they just look at pics and blindly click. Fickle is what I call it.
I think of that as a filter. I was helping a woman I dated, well met for coffee. And told her I was not interested. We got to talking about pof.
I told her men do not read much past the title and the pictures. Certain types of pictures give off a "I'm a party girl" and title is either so bland that the thing does not register in their minds.
Men are visual. But all humans are read Naked Ape by Desmond Morris.
He was one of the first people working in this field, so a good place to start
I worked him briefly setting up a system to track eye movement, length of pause (these are milliseconds) and to track spots that were revisited.
People took at eyes and lips more than 85% of the time. They revisit the outside edge of eyes and track around the pupils. The edges of your lips get revisits and longer pauses.
After a man had looked at ten photographs, he would sit down and fill out a questionnaire of his impressions of each face (the photographs were put back up)
When he had many positive or negative things to say about any particular woman, we would go back (new session a few days later) show him a few pictures of one particular girl, but start with first picture (remember her?)
On a positive girl, we tried to show less flattering facial expressions to see if we could influence his first impression. Mostly no. Same on a negative girl.
I was working in body language and impressions. My work as a neuromuscular specialist deals in training the motor cortex for better coordination.
We worked a bit with video, but could never get the tracking system to work with a moving image (older Macs and just too much data. The still pics were really pushing the machines)
I was working in conjunction with a person who trained people to be interviewed on TV, how they sit, how they walk in, generally how they act, eye contact (oddly looking at a person interviewing you creates a bad impression), but body movement was major deal.
So I am interested to see Tinder's app, but I live in a place were zero people are!
However it is a totally visual. I do not know anything beyond that.
In POF. Pick what your male friends you like and respect say is your best shot, listen to the words they use.
Place that first
Never have more than three pics
Two portrait well lit, clear, in focus, smiling, but needs to be relaxed and natural.
I found when I worked with models, I got to meet some amazing photographers. They say on average 400 shots they get anywhere from 1-12 good photographs. And these are pros who know tons about light, composition, contrast and feel. They are talking all the time they are shoot looking to create a mood and feel.
Once you think you have the three (last is a full body, head to knees) most people look best in a 3/4 to 2/3 profile.) again well lit, clean background without feeling like you are in a studio with a single color background.
Not a bar.mif you need a glass of wine to relax, make sure it is not in the picture.
Once you get that part
Think of a clever title that is positive.
Do put good interesting text in your profile
Fucking generic I like a man who knows how to treat a woman
WFT? I treat a princess like a maid and the poor girl like a princess.
90% of the men do not read, so put something in the end like
A uniques subject in first sentence.
Don't tell them to NOT talk about sex.
Tell them intelligent men are attractive.
For every 20 guys you are going to get 1.5 worth opening a dialog
If you can't be bothered to out together a good profile, I don't want you
If you have some stupid hi
I don't want you
Fill out everything.
So that is a fairly large amount of information.
In my life for every 100 women I slept with, I want to go back to only 10.
That first pic should stop men. It should stand out.
Make up should be so subtle you do not see it.
Then once you have a great pic or two, make two email addresses and make two tinder accounts and test.
Tinder sounds interesting because they limit distance
POF limits age I forget what but 10-15 years max.
So not cougar friendly
Not good for trophy wife hunting.
Before you place an ad, do a thirty day list of the ideal guy
List some of these things in your what I am looking for.
Stay the fuck away of negatives in this, so like I don't want a playboy, chewter stuff
When you don't know where you are going,many road will get you there.
Hope this is useful.
Video interview
Get a camera, nicely lit neutral background (Flattering color) turn on camera walking in shake hands with your interviewer and sit down.
Have them ask you questions.
Full range of them
Then go back and review the video.
Notice what you do with your eyes, head, how you hold yourself and especially hands
Do this a few times, it will totally give you brain especially your subconscious incredible feedback and get you so you are falling off a log.
I used to give speeches. I would practice my speech over and over, every word was analyzed. My inflection, the open joke to the open sentence of topic and the summary of what they would hear,
Then each point and its supporting data
Then how these things tied together
Then a summary of what they heard
This is a slightly more complex version of the tell them what you are going to tell them, tell them, them what you told them and a final call for action.
One that first coffee if the chemistry, ask when they are going to call. But it framed more in the which day are you going to call. It let's him know you want a call, but you are looking for a man who can commit.
There has been some incredible work being done on this whole field.
Go rad about it
As an artist, you might find some if it interesting.
All the world's a stage and we are just player upon it.
Broadway plays open after months of rehearsals and dry runs in a smaller city.
They do not write a play get some actor and open on a broadway the next day.
If you think you are worth, be prepared to put in some work to get the results.
Get a camera, nicely lit neutral background (Flattering color) turn on camera walking in shake hands with your interviewer and sit down.
Have them ask you questions.
Full range of them
Then go back and review the video.
Notice what you do with your eyes, head, how you hold yourself and especially hands
Do this a few times, it will totally give you brain especially your subconscious incredible feedback and get you so you are falling off a log.
I used to give speeches. I would practice my speech over and over, every word was analyzed. My inflection, the open joke to the open sentence of topic and the summary of what they would hear,
Then each point and its supporting data
Then how these things tied together
Then a summary of what they heard
This is a slightly more complex version of the tell them what you are going to tell them, tell them, them what you told them and a final call for action.
One that first coffee if the chemistry, ask when they are going to call. But it framed more in the which day are you going to call. It let's him know you want a call, but you are looking for a man who can commit.
There has been some incredible work being done on this whole field.
Go rad about it
As an artist, you might find some if it interesting.
All the world's a stage and we are just player upon it.
Broadway plays open after months of rehearsals and dry runs in a smaller city.
They do not write a play get some actor and open on a broadway the next day.
If you think you are worth, be prepared to put in some work to get the results.
Oklahoma7Artist
New member
Dickdomin,
My trouble on profiles is that I'm a common sense thinker. I always look at what they have to say and read the profile. It irritates me that a man will write without reading a word and ask me ..."What are you looking for"? I always say "It's in my profile did you not see it"? I'm nice about it but to me it's like I went to a lot of trouble to fill that out. Too me its as if it's a meat market. Don't they want to know about someone before talking? I know saying all this will cause flack but...It's my woman right brain working overtime. I know men are visual creatures. My pics are current and clear.
My trouble on profiles is that I'm a common sense thinker. I always look at what they have to say and read the profile. It irritates me that a man will write without reading a word and ask me ..."What are you looking for"? I always say "It's in my profile did you not see it"? I'm nice about it but to me it's like I went to a lot of trouble to fill that out. Too me its as if it's a meat market. Don't they want to know about someone before talking? I know saying all this will cause flack but...It's my woman right brain working overtime. I know men are visual creatures. My pics are current and clear.
Statistics
At age of six women in every culture have twice the vocabulary than boys.
Boys are wired to the silent hunt, quick pull of the trigger.
I read, so I read every word, but I am in the 10%.
Stamp you foot all you want, but never step off a four story building and argue with gravity.
My lengthy advice still stands. Do what works
At age of six women in every culture have twice the vocabulary than boys.
Boys are wired to the silent hunt, quick pull of the trigger.
I read, so I read every word, but I am in the 10%.
Stamp you foot all you want, but never step off a four story building and argue with gravity.
My lengthy advice still stands. Do what works