Albert Ross
Well-known member
An interesting dichotomy. I wonder why?
On current societal relationship dynamics
- Thread starter Albert Ross
- Start date
Sunshine79
Member
It's a tale as old as time. Every "oldest" generation is skeptical of the younger generations coming up after it, as a rule. Look at how the boomers view Gen Z, currently. Hm?
I have no objective evidence to back this up. It's just something I think I might have observed in the children of my peers.
And vice versa. Gen Z doesn't even know what the term "boomer" comes from and they've already turned it into a slur. I can't wait to see what Alpha does with Gen X.
Sunshine79
Member
For sure. I'm over here wondering where the year lines will be fully drawn. I know they say they've defined them but it usually takes a while to nail it down. Like, I'm not sure if my oldest kids are Gen Z or gen alpha. Meanwhile, I'm the VERY FIRST millennial (1981) and embracing that now - though maybe originally wanted to identify more as Gen X, haha.
I will say this (because I've got kids from 17 down to 9). The difference of how MY kids are growing up vs. how I grew up is ridiculously dramatic. And maybe every generation thinks this. But like, this one feels more dramatic than those that came before me. Haha. OMG. I'm old now.
SEASONEDpolyAgain
Well-known member
I think the biggest change in younger generations has been that they mistake someone's right to be able to do something with an entitlement to have it.
So I have the right as a woman to education and a fair chance of gaining employment in the field I qualified. I don't have the right to any job that I want.
The problem is that many people genuinely aren't realising their basic human rights. Women don't have equal access to education and employment in a relevant field (globally). We still really need to address this.
However it's being conflated with someone thinking that despite being ill suited to a role due to a variety of factors relevant to themselves, they are entitled to whatever they'd like.
I've used employment as an example here but I see this in various contexts: relationships, family life, socialising.
So I have the right as a woman to education and a fair chance of gaining employment in the field I qualified. I don't have the right to any job that I want.
The problem is that many people genuinely aren't realising their basic human rights. Women don't have equal access to education and employment in a relevant field (globally). We still really need to address this.
However it's being conflated with someone thinking that despite being ill suited to a role due to a variety of factors relevant to themselves, they are entitled to whatever they'd like.
I've used employment as an example here but I see this in various contexts: relationships, family life, socialising.
There’s also a streak of weird purity culture even in the more alt side of the under 25’s, it’s just coming from a slightly different motivation. Like, they’re better than my age at consent… but also weirdly sex negative / anti-porn in an almost patronizing way. I mean, I’m stereotyping, it’s not all of them, but enough for an observable pattern.
SEASONEDpolyAgain
Well-known member
I've said this before but I don't think it's just people young in age. Also people who are new to autonomy in some sense. Older people who have just come out or newly out of restrictive marriages and backgrounds. They're young on the "scene".
Sunshine79
Member
Ooooh. This is interesting. I grew up in the evangelical Christian purity culture sweep of the 90s and 2000s, so this is something my partner and I are actively working against as we raise our own kids in a more sex-positive and sex-open house. I have seen that the church itself hasn’t really changed its stance on this arena and now includes LGBTQ “lessons in identity” a little more overtly than when I was growing up. BUT - on the whole the biggest thing I see with teenagers is that far fewer seem to be dating and having sex in this generation.
I have arguably been less aware of the purity culture influence. I have been more aware of the entire social construct stemming from screen time and cell phone use impeding and preventing face to face relating. Also there’s the dopamine and chemical stuff going on perhaps affecting teenage libidos. App dating might in fact be dangerously shifting the culture into a world where nuance and growth and learning how to relate is replaced with quickly moving on….
But you’ve def got me curious about the current influence of purity culture.
(As to the porn example: I think it is important to note that kids have easy access to video porn, which in my humble opinion is more unhealthy than healthy currently. I’m guessing the church is tackling it from an even more dire position of its seriousness. My complaint with church is the “rules” are rarely fully explored for the “why.”)
I agree about porn not being great - which is hard to quantify without being hypocritical given just how much time I spent reading both romance novels and some REALLY sexually f’d up scifi when I was on the younger end of my teens (and had no one to talk to about it).
On the other hand, I used the phrase purity culture but honestly, a lot of what I meant is more based on second wave feminism… but the two sort of horseshoe around to agree on sexuality being dangerous.
On the other hand, I used the phrase purity culture but honestly, a lot of what I meant is more based on second wave feminism… but the two sort of horseshoe around to agree on sexuality being dangerous.
The Wikipedia link was indeed helpful, thanks.
(But damn the culture wars are alive and well, quite literally. I drive by a megachurch on the way to/from Artist’s house… they literally have a banner up saying “fight for the family… god vs culture” (paraphrasing because I was driving). SUCH an ironic thing to read when one is driving back to one’s family after a rather lovely kinky evening/morning…)
Sunshine79
Member
OMG. I wonder how close in age we are. I'm 42 and was that horny little 6th grader riding my bike to the library to check out anything and everything on the smut romance racks. Those little old lady librarians probably giggled so hard every week when I came in.
I have to admit that doesn't feel unhealthy at all. Hahahahaha.
Me too, haha. Also an old millennial born in 1981. But culturally I identify more with Gen Xers.
Graduating high school in 1999, I feel like the last & youngest Gen Xer, rather than the first millennial.
About the topic of this thread, poly relationships are definitely more mainstream for younger people now. Several undergraduate college kids circa 2016 were openly poly at the school where I worked (northeast US). Definitely was not a thing when I was in college circa 2000, even at a super liberal college known for all things alternative.
Trans and non-binary identities are more common now too, of course.
This is all good progress...but there is also a big conservative backlash now.
Plus, as Magdlyn has pointed out in other threads, a lot of younger people (younger than me, that is, or not even that much younger) seem to be having a lot of online relationships that are emotionally intense even if they hardly ever meet in person.
Sunshine79
Member
Yes girl. Yes. (Ooh that was a guess. I hope I got it right.)
Also class of '99, which I love, but a Leo, so young for my class. In my profession however (I own a consignment store and am freakishly successful, even only 4 years in), I absolutely love playing the millennial card when I school the older generation on the actual profitability of social media. Haha.
I mean, true to my Leo-ness, I will take on whatever identity most benefits me looking amazing, right?
I have a funny story about one of your comments above. I was out 2 years ago on my first double date with my husband, each of us with our paramours at the time. Leaving the bar, the street was full of college kids and one started to hit on me. Another said “Back off, bro, that’s her husband.”
My bf at the time goes: “Who me? I’m not her husband. That’s her husband over there,” pointing across the street to my husband with his gf.
This poor kid’s eyes and heart. He just blurts: “WHAT?! Why is everyone all POLYAMOROUS these days?!”
It was precious.
haha.