The abridged version...
My spouse and I have been together for 10 years and married for 7 years, he has been dating his girlfriend for about 3.
I feel like my spouse and I have a lot to work on in our relationship. I do not have a good relationship with my metamor, I don't feel comfortable around her, as she has never felt comfortable around me and I've the last 3 years has caused several incidents often when 3 of us are in the same social spaces.
We were considering therapy, and initially I thought I would be ok with all of us doing it together. But I realized that my spouse and I have a lot of things to work through and I have no interest in working on a relationship so the 3 of us can get along, when he and I have so much to work on and I do t feel comfortable around her, or her me.
So we are now looking into couples therapy, for me and the spouse and the spouse and his girlfriend.
My spouse would like to go to the same therapist for both relationships. My knee jerk reaction is to say "no, I don't want to do that." But I couldn't figure out why, I still don't understand why I have this reaction. I asked him why he wanted to go to the same therapist and his reasons seem valid, but I still can't get the inkling that it is a bad idea.
My question, what is your opinion about sharing the same therapist for this situation? What is your experience with therapy or couples therapy?
Background, I have never tried therapy before, but have friends and other partners i talk to often. The spouse, has never tried therapy, doesn't talk to friends, and has never been able to talk about his emotions or feelings easily with me (unsure if he understands them).
My spouse and I have been together for 10 years and married for 7 years, he has been dating his girlfriend for about 3.
I feel like my spouse and I have a lot to work on in our relationship. I do not have a good relationship with my metamor, I don't feel comfortable around her, as she has never felt comfortable around me and I've the last 3 years has caused several incidents often when 3 of us are in the same social spaces.
We were considering therapy, and initially I thought I would be ok with all of us doing it together. But I realized that my spouse and I have a lot of things to work through and I have no interest in working on a relationship so the 3 of us can get along, when he and I have so much to work on and I do t feel comfortable around her, or her me.
So we are now looking into couples therapy, for me and the spouse and the spouse and his girlfriend.
My spouse would like to go to the same therapist for both relationships. My knee jerk reaction is to say "no, I don't want to do that." But I couldn't figure out why, I still don't understand why I have this reaction. I asked him why he wanted to go to the same therapist and his reasons seem valid, but I still can't get the inkling that it is a bad idea.
My question, what is your opinion about sharing the same therapist for this situation? What is your experience with therapy or couples therapy?
Background, I have never tried therapy before, but have friends and other partners i talk to often. The spouse, has never tried therapy, doesn't talk to friends, and has never been able to talk about his emotions or feelings easily with me (unsure if he understands them).