Opinions please-- meeting bf's other gf

nycindie said:
As a monoamorous person, Bacon prefers to simply enjoy her relationship without having to meet anyone else Jesse may be involved with, even though she's accepting of it. She appreciates what she has with him, doesn't ask questions about Blossom, and has no need to feel a part of a "network" or other poly configuration. Meeting Blossom ust makes her feel more of a part of something she doesn't really want to think about.

Did I get that right, Bacon?
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Yes. :) I wasn't trying to be negative when I said, "I don't want to be poly." I'm sorry if it was taken that way.

Thank you for all the responses. I am trying to understand things from all angles and get a good outcome.
 
Well, if you're comfortable with him and her being together, that's cool. That should be enough right there. I know we've had ladies want to be with my hubby, and I just didn't find myself attracted to them. So it ended up being him and her physically, and me and her being friends, which was fine with me.

My point is you shouldn't have to feel like you must meet someone you don't want to. It should be only if you feel comfortable with it, because trust me, if you do it, and you're not comfortable with it, and they are lovey-dovey in front of you, you might find yourself in a tight spot. Meaning if you're anything like me, and speak your mind, you might find yourself saying something before you can help yourself. lol.

So rather than do all that mess, I'd mill it over some. Maybe talk to Blossom on the phone, or by email. That way you two can get all the issues out of the way first. Then if you feel comfortable (this might take a good while), meet her.

That is just my opinion. You can do as you see fit with it all.

Also, Jesse must understand that you may never feel comfortable enough to meet Blossom. And if you're not, that should be okay, too.
 
GroundedSpirit said:
Your warning flags naturally go up when someone doesn't want to meet/acknowledge your existence. Blossom would have to have such deep trust in Jesse that she could get comfortable with a total unknown being in the picture.
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Blossom isn't totally unknown to Bacon, nor unacknowledged:

BaconWrappedCupcakes said:
We spoke in early stages of this relationship.
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I think it's just going to take some patience, consideration, and heartfelt communication to arrive at a solution that works for all involved. Maybe Blossom would be satisfied with only talking again and not meeting in person, if you are willing to do that.
 
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I thought I would update since everyone was so helpful with the responses.

We did all meet for lunch. I realized the longer I put it off, the more unnecessary stress I would cause myself. I was nervous, of course, but it all went really well. We have talked since and I think things will be good.

Again, thanks for the responses. They were all very helpful.

:)
Bacon
 
I'm really glad you went for it! Eliminating the unknown aspects of your relationship certainly helps reduce the opportunities to make fear-driven decisions (which almost never turn out well). And see? The three of you all feel better!

I think the general consensus was that you didn't have to meet if you really didn't want to, but that overall it would be better if you did. I'm kinda glad I was wrong on this one!:D
 
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