Penny's Blog

Penny

New member
Eek, I'd be afraid to just call this blog, Penny's In Heaven, because of karma. Say you're in heaven and bam! the universe brings you some hell. (Kinda like the poster here, Happiest Man Alive, who almost always seems so unhappy! Or naming your girlchild Candy or Cookie and she grows up to be a stone butch dyke. ;) )

Anyway! I am jealous of you cooking and sexing with 2 hot "good guys." Wish I could find even one... sigh. Someday.

Yeah, I don't believe that calling it "Penny's in Heaven" could actually bring trouble down on my head, but if things went bad or I was just having a really bad day, the irony would get on my nerves.

On the topic of irony, I think Cookie would be a really cute name for a butch dyke. lol

My daughter is at my mom's as she is every Saturday night. Tonight me and my guys are going out in our sexy Victorian costumes for drinking and dancing, and then I get to come back home and have sex with them. It's going to be hot, and I always get a little wild when I have a few drinks in me.

Whee!

Then tomorrow morning we'll do breakfast and cuddles. Thumper usually works Saturday nights, so the bed will be extra cramped (it's only a full-sized, and T-Rex is a six-footer) but it'll be worth it.

I gotta watch my alcohol consumption though so I'm not hung over. Sunday morning naked wrestling is the best.
 

Penny

New member
Steam Penny. I couldn't resist. Hey, if by some wild coincidence you recognize me from someplace, keep it under your hat.

I usually do the ruffly shirt bit, but I tried something different this time.

I'd love to show off the guys, but as I intend to discuss intimate and private details here, it's probably best if I don't. Thumper wouldn't mind, but T-Rex is more private and not out to his family.

After reading through Redpepper's posts on the topic, as well as some other sources on being "out," I have decided that being out or in have at least equal benefits and drawbacks, but being out is more natural to me.

We are now out to Thumper's brother, who was completely unfazed. I think he may enjoy commiserating with Thumper over how hard it is to find women.
 

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Penny

New member
When we went out last night, Thumper was introducing me and T-Rex as his wife and her boyfriend. T-Rex started introducing himself as my boyfriend, pointing out Thumper as my husband. It was a little surreal.

I felt really full of myself with both of them being openly affectionate with me. Kind of like the guy walking in with a hot chick on each arm.

Thumper looks fantastic in a kilt. He has the most perfect calves... ever. I did not know a man's calves could be so amazingly sexy.

Here are pictures of me in some of my costumes. I didn't make any of it (I get asked that a lot) but I love putting all sorts of different pieces from a variety of sources together.
 

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My husband and I dressed up as Steampunk for Halloween. My costume was not nearly as amazing as yours are. My husband made a lightening gun out of foam core and color printed paper that looked amazing. We both love Steampunk.
 

Penny

New member
I posted this in the thread on multi-partner cohabitation in response to a discussion on sex in earshot of other partners. I am too lazy to paraphrase it here, though I wanted it in my blog as I think it is a cute story:

While we don't live together, I think this story is relevant to the current conversation.

My boyfriend, T-Rex, spends Tuesday and Saturday nights with me while my husband, Thumper, is at work. Sunday mornings, when Thumper comes home, we fire up the airbed in the living room so we can have breakfast, watch movies, play video games, chat, listen to audio books, and have playful sex. These mornings often last until five or six at night. My daughter stays at my mom's on Sundays.

This past Sunday, over the course of such a 'morning', Thumper was sitting on the edge of the airbed looking up something on his laptop (which was set up on a TV tray next to the airbed) pertinent to a conversation he and T-Rex were having. Meanwhile, T-Rex and I had been casually fooling around under the covers.

So, T-Rex rolls over and is about to mount me (yay!) and Thumper starts talking about whatever it was he was looking up. He glances over, sees T-Rex poised for action, and says something like, "Oh, sorry. I'll wait."

T-Rex cheerfully says, "No no, go ahead, finish your thought," while continuing to... well, you know... initiate docking procedures.

Meanwhile, I start giggling. I have no clue what the topic was because my brain goes mushy at such times.

So Thumper says whatever he was going to say and T-Rex (who has achieved full penetration at this point) answers him thoughtfully. I think there may have been a brief conversational exchange at this point, but my memory is fuzzy there. Then T-Rex turns his full attention to me and we have a lovely bit of sex.

Mind you, T-Rex and I had plenty of intense one on one time the night before, so I didn't feel at all ignored or anything. I think I already had sex with Thumper that morning, probably with both of them, possibly at the same time, but Sunday mornings are lazy and fuzzy and warm, and we don't keep track or score or anything. They all kind of blur together in my memory.

Anyhow, T-Rex and I finish and take a moment for a cuddle. Thumper, who has been on the computer the whole time and was sitting on the airbed right next to us, laughs and says, "You know, it's really hard to use a mouse while you guys are doing that." He then pantomimes the effect all the bouncing had on his mousing skills.

I thought that was pretty funny, and T-Rex has a rich, booming laugh that is pleasant to feel resonating through his chest when I'm cuddled up against him.

It was awfully nice. I love the sense of camaraderie that has developed between them.

This makes me think that we possibly could all live together someday, though I'm not making any plans at this point. It's too soon and there's no real need for it. But at least the sex wouldn't be a problem.

I guess my point is that the sex doesn't have to be a problem, but it's something the metamours need to work out between them. I've been with T-Rex for about 8 months now, and this has developed slowly over time. We used to keep it separate and T-Rex would leave when Thumper came home (though that didn't last long), then we all started just hanging out together Sunday mornings, then it progressed to cuddling while hanging out, then light fondling under the covers entered the picture, and now it's this friendly and affectionate experience that is super warm and fuzzy.

It helps that we were all good friends before I became intimate with T-Rex.
 

Penny

New member
I love getting supportive comments here. Thanks, guys! :)

I have been awfully sick with a cold. Last night was supposed to be romance time for me and Thumper, but I was too bombed out on NyQuil to do anything but pass out. Tonight, T-Rex and I are getting together for our usual Saturday night. I am feeling better, so that will likely be fine unless I have a relapse.

Thumper has the worst luck. This always happens to him, and I swear up and down it isn't me. I always get my damn period on the nights we're together, and it almost always clears up in time for T-Rex. That's just how my pills have timed out with his work schedule.

Dice hate Thumper too. He has the worst luck. Never sending him to Vegas.

And our Sunday morning is off for this week as the kiddo is spending the night here instead of at my mom's and has a birthday party to go to tomorrow. I will miss Sunday lounging.

Still, Thumper has Sunday night off and we are going to a LARP, so I will be in my corset and garters when we get home... that will be fun. ;)
 

Penny

New member
My daughter has been having problems at school to such an extent that I attend school with her every day. She's in therapy and we're getting her assessed in as many ways as are appropriate, trying to get her the help she needs.

She has an emotional regulatory problem and some slight neurological developmental delays, though is well above average in intelligence and some other developmental areas and is loving and affectionate. She does not yet have a formal diagnosis, and her therapist thinks one might not be forthcoming as she falls through the cracks on diagnostic criteria, not being fully one thing or another.

Her problems resemble Asperger's, but she is far to social and has no difficulties with attachment. She does not meet the criteria for ADD, OCD, or oppositional defiant disorder, though has elements of all. We have been assured by multiple sources that her difficulties are not due to any deficit in our abilities as parents.

Having accompanied her to school every day for a couple of months and seen a marked improvement in her behavior, I had been discussing with her teacher gradually phasing me out so I can return to working on my fledgling writing career. I have some money saved up and was not working in an attempt to try to become a published author. That has been put on hold due to my daughter's problems.

Today, out of the blue, she had a sudden backsliding into old problems. She acted out physically, and hit me a couple times. Hitting has been a problem for her, but she never hits me, so I am in a bit of shock over that.

We can't find a trigger. I have some thoughts, and will write about them later.

I had so much hope, and things were looking so much better. I am terribly depressed. Heartbroken even.

I dealt well with her behavior early this morning, but her teacher and I decided I should take her home because the day was just not working out. I lost my temper with her while getting her ready to leave. My frustration just got too much to handle.

She'd been going half days for a couple weeks, then was allowed back full days, and she'd been attending art and music classes without me being present. We were going to start having me leave the class for periods of time throughout the day, but now we are going to have to put that off.

I am upset that her progress has so suddenly dissolved both because I am terribly worried about her (she is my little sweetheart and I love her to pieces), and because I only have a limited time during which I can work on my writing before the money I have saved runs out and I have to find other employment. So a longstanding dream of mine is also in jeopardy.

My primary worry is her, but having to spend all my days at school with her is wearing down my morale.

Her therapist believes that her emotional regulatory problems are due to a number of losses she experienced (deaths, moving, that sort of thing) between the ages of 2-3, coupled with a natural predisposition are causing her present difficulties.

Today I am deeply depressed as I thought we were seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, however faint.

I am feeling guilt over losing my temper with her, and for the fact that I screwed up the day of her therapist's appointment last week and so missed it. The second bit of guilt is not very reasonable.

Thumper is such a good daddy and is so supportive, though his work schedule leaves him exhausted much of the time.

I just feel really shitty. My poor little ducky. I love her so much.
 

Penny

New member
I fear that last post may not have been wholly coherent, but I'm feeling very emotional today. This may have been reflected in other posts I've made around the site.
 

SNeacail

New member
HUGS, HUGS HUGS!!!!

My oldest is nearly 16 and is ADHD, and while he has grown out of some of the issues, there are still enough that his "special ed" councilor thinks it may be Aspergers and we are now moving toward a full evaluation. He is definitely a couple years behind socially, but he made huge strides this last year. The school thing is so frustrating, there were many days that I just broke down in tears with helplessness. If it is at all possible, I suggest looking into home schooling, I wish I could have done it, I think it would have made a huge difference.
 

nycindie

Active member
Sorry to hear what you've been going through. How old is your daughter? I may be naive, but I often wonder how productive it is when professionals attempt to categorize and diagnose children's behaviors to the nth degree. I get the sense that she needs sunshine and more play, just an intuitive thing that came to me while reading your post. But never mind me if I'm totally off-base.

((((HUGS)))) to you all
 

LovingRadiance

Active member
Remember, first you are human, then you are mommy. Not reverse.

;)

I have 4 kids-all with severe ADD and one (my stepson) with severe emotional problems and behavioral problems due to drug exposure in utero and abuse between ages 0-4.

Some days are diamonds, some suck so bad it feels like you're being sucked inside out.

I am curious too as to how old your daughter is, she sounds like a perfect candidate for homeschool or private school options.
 

Penny

New member
Sunshine and more play was the first thing we tried when the problems started in PreK. She's in first grade now, age six. For a while it looked like things were settling down, but she's had a reversal and got suspended for hitting multiple times.

I really don't want to homeschool, for my own sake, but will if it becomes necessary. We are looking into private schools, but money is an issue.

Her neurological problems are pretty minor and she's above average on many other scales. I was the same way as a kid.

I am not big on labels, but having a label makes getting help easier.

The main problem is that the developmental delays are exacerbating emotional problems. I have been saying for years that she is having trouble coping with a number of losses, her grandpa and grandma, great-grandma, the family cat, our house, and a number of others, all within the span of just over a year when she between 2 and 3. The school officials have previously been dismissive of this, but now they are seeing things my way. Her therapist agrees.

She has certain predispositions that make these early traumas even harder to deal with. She can't let go, and has an uncanny memory. This recent bout of behavioral problems happened after the student teacher, who she loved, left the class. She's obsessed with loss, and is desperately trying to control a world that is bigger than she is.

I have a big meeting at the school today to discuss where we're going next with this.

Also, I'm fighting with my nutcase mother again, which is also hard on my daughter, so no baby-sitter for our usual Tuesday night. T-Rex is coming to dinner still, and we're going to do family cuddles and watch the movie Up (which T-Rex hasn't seen) before my daughter goes to bed. Then Thumper, T-Rex, and I will probably watch a little Bab5, then retire to the bedroom for a bit of bouncy bouncy before Thumper goes to work. T-Rex will spend the night, rising early to return home before he goes to work and I take my little one to school, where I will stay until class is over.

I am really looking forward to the cuddles. I need to de-stress and unwind. Normally my daughter is at my mom's on Tuesday nights (usu. Tuesdays and Saturday night/Sunday day), but I'm glad she'll be with me, even if it's because my mother is unreasonable. I try to help her as much as I can, but her problems are all self-inflicted and I am unwilling to put up with bullshit from her.
 

Penny

New member
Enough worrying about the kiddo today. She's happy, smart, and full of love and sunshine, and I know it will work out. I have her home today because of various appointments, therapy and stuff like that, and she is too cute to fail at life.

I am sooo looking forward to dinner, movies, cuddles, family time then grown up time. Poor hubby is exhausted and hasn't had enough sex lately due to work schedule, me having a bad cold, and general stress. If he sleeps through movie time, after I put the kid to bed I might ask T-Rex to occupy himself for a little bit so I can go climb on top of Thumper for a quickie.

Or we might just migrate together into the bedroom and wake him up.

Thumper is cool with this plan. :D
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
*HUGS* @ Penny.
 

LovingRadiance

Active member
Sounds so familiar Penny. My stepson (I got him at 18 months old) struggled so desperately with the same types of issues.
He's SO smart-too smart for his own good most of the time. He can be a sweetheart out of this world.
But, changes like going from one parents home to the other (they did that every 3/4 days when he was little per court order) created so much psychological distress for him that he would get violent, fluctuate from sobbing to screaming obscenities (at 2years), beat his head against the wall, just was out of control-and it would take 2-3 days for him to get a grip again. :(

That was actually why I homeschooled him the first couple of years (yes I did catch that you'd prefer not to do that). It only took a couple of years, just having that steady, all day at home with "2mommy" for him to start finding curiosity in the ways that came with changes.

Like being curious what was going on at grandma's house and so he would go there with someone BESIDES ME.
Being curious what the kids were going to do at the park, so he would go with his older sister (and NOT ME).

I don't know what the requirements there are, but here school isn't mandatory til age 7, is it possible that you could pull her out temporarily, really put 6 months or so into having her daily schedule be totally secure, predictable and inclusive of her "at her home family" and using the last 3 months of that work her out possibly?

REGARDLESS-
I think it's awesome that you are trying so hard AND you are also still seeing what a beautiful wonderful little girl you have. :)
Don't forget that to have a beautiful, wonderful little girl, you must be a beautiful and wonderful mom!!!

Pat yourself on the back for all of your hard work. :)

(writing-I love to write, have you considered scheduling so that you can take a laptop and headphones after she goes to bed and run off for 2 hours a day to work on your writing? Or maybe before she gets up in the morning? I have a friend who has 4 kids, 3 under the age of 4 who is an author. She commits to 30 minutes a day, every day and it seems to really work)
 
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