Personal Summaries


New member

I'm 26, female, and live in NJ. I identify as heteroqueer: I'm a cisgender chick who likes dick and it just goes off the beaten path from there (genderfluid, kinky, poly, childfree, ally). I'm sort-of new to poly; I was in a poly relationship when I was 19-20, and it didn't work out so well... then I was in a monogamous relationship for 4 years, and that didn't work out so well either... so for the past year and a half I've taken a step back so I could sort my mind out before getting into another capital-R-relationship. I've come to the executive decision that I don't want to be in a monogamous relationship. I have a friend with benefits (my Gentleman Caller, as I like to refer to him) who I've been hanging out with for the past year or so, as well as a submissive.

I'm Neo-Pagan, progressive, and feminist. I'm chipping away at a Master's in Social Work, with an interest in women's issues and LGBT issues. I'm all about the fat acceptance movement, and I'm trying to figure out how to work that into my education. I love theater, film, music (mostly indie rock), yoga, cooking, travelling, going to art museums, and talking about myself online.


New member
Greetings and salutations!

Obviously I'm new to this site and new to polyamory. I am a single panromantic asexual interested in trying out a poly relationship. I've not had much (good) experience with dating in the past, but I'm trying to be more open and not be so scared to let other people into my life. I am currently enrolled as a full-time student at Uni with a focus on majoring in Music. I enjoy drawing and writing, anything artsy :) I currently live in central Georgia but plan on moving after I'm done with college.


New member
Newness moving

I'm this board and polyamory. I've have poly folks in my life, I've never been opposed to it, but I've always been in monogamous relationships. Serial monogamy no doubt.

My current partner is not new to polyamory. She had been through a series of unsuccessful poly dynamics over the previous 4 or 5 years however, so where I've heard the NRE might wear off, we went into a monogamous relationship. That is to say, I knew she was polyamous from the beginning but we had a series of conversations where she stated matter-of-factly, she wanted a monogamous relationship. She said she didn't that was going to always been true but it was defiantly true at that moment. Somehow I found myself oblivious to the possibly that meant immediate future because shortly after the shift to monogamy, conversations about babies and weddings started happening. It never occurred to me that polyamory could even be a part of this monogamous future that would take years to build.

Flash forward about 18 months and here I am. New to a polyamory message board. My partner told me about a month ago she felt like she wasn't being true to herself. She felt like she was suffocating, and a rope was around her; she felt oppressed and as if she had no freedom to do anything, She told me these things in a desperate, tearful, voice-saying it was physically difficult to breath at times.

I love my partner. I don't want her to feel those things! So...long story short, I started reading about poly. A fact finding mission mostly. I looked at all the things on these boards, and all over the interwebs. I've read a few books now, 'Opening Up' being the one I think I liked the best.

After what feels like careful thinking, several conversations later, I've decided I think I'd like to try poly. I'm not sure what happens now but....I'm trying it I guess! Right now it just feels like I mean "Hey, partner, I don't want you to feel miserable! Please, do what you need to feel a happy full life".

I don't really know what to say from there....I'm just saying here I am, new to poly and new to this board. and glad for a thread I could say these things in.


New member
seeking polyamorous female Asheville NC

Asheville NC . I am 28, 5'7", and fit. I am a physically active, attractive, friendly, outgoing, funloving, respectable man in a polyamorous relationship looking for a companion for a longterm friendship and romance. I am interested in women ranging in age from 20 to 50 years old who are compatable. I normally have no problem finding a date, but have had trouble finding a women that is comfortable with the poly lifestyle. I am glad to share photos, conversation, maybe an afternoon of hiking/biking/talking/walking/dancing/dinning etc. if you have any interest in getting to know me.
My wife and I are high school sweethearts, together since my
Junior year in HS (1999) and have been married for 5 years. We are both natives of Western NC. Since about 2 years before we got married we have been vary open with each other about the possible desires for intimate relationships outside of our own. We spent years feeling this way, but uncertain of what avenues we could use to allow a nonmonagamous relationsip to exist. We decided to join an online swingers group (we are
sampson26 on SLS). We have been disappointed with this approach in that it mostly connected us with people looking for cheep flings as apposed to the meaningful, sensual, fulfilling relationships that we both desire. We have since looked elsewhere and have both mannaged to find lovers on our own just by letting our close friends know about our desires for what we now know is polyamory.
Currently my wife is in a stable relationship, with a longtime friend who is also Poly and I am hoping to also find a steady, compatable partner.


New member
35, straight male, NJ, in an open marriage

I'm just going to copy and paste from PMM, so here goes:

I've been told that I'm a laid-back and very accepting guy. I am also affectionate, loyal, passionate, analytical, and loyal. My biggest interest in life is taking in new experiences, instead of living life in a boring, routine way. Other interests of mine include traveling, going to concerts or shows, and playing/watching sports, in particular football.

I get along very well with other people and very much enjoy the company of others, especially when doing an activity together. By trade, I am a professional musician and a computer techie.

My wife is also polyamorous, but I am not looking for a triad or group setting. Our relationship is better described as an open marriage in which we are free to see other people.

I would say the first thing people notice about me is that I'm very welcoming. I love meeting new people and getting to know them better. I consider myself to be good-looking, intelligent, and easy to get along with. I don't really get crazy that often, but I just might when I'm playing music, especially in a jam session setting. I also let loose around sporting events, particular my first sports love, football. What I’m not interested in doing is the same old thing.

If you looked at my iTunes playlist, you'll mostly find songs by They Might Be Giants, The Beatles, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Dream Theater, Spiraling, Moxy Fruvous, Great Big Sea, Eddie From Ohio, The Nields, Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer, Billy Joel, Ben Folds, Guster and Erin McKeown.

You should also message me if you’re looking for someone who is willing to try new things, enjoy sharing music and concerts/shows with, and willing to show someone who is new to the polyamory a thing or two. I am very willing to learn about this exciting new lifestyle.

I'm looking women, married or single, age 25-43, and is looking for new friends or a relationship, either short or long-term. She should also be laid-back, great company to be with, intelligent, and interested in trying new things.

Glad to meet you all!


New member

I live in Michigan. I am a 5'5'' blonde, green eyed woman who has a hard time getting close to other people. Once I let people get close enough, expect me to be loyal and willing to do anything for the people I love. :)

I am new to polyamory. I've been happily married for eleven years, and my husband and I are just now exploring the options of being polyamorous. I mostly date men, but I am open to the idea of a female relationship as well.

I work part time from home and am a stay at home mom to three amazing daughters. I got married at 18 to my high school sweetheart.

My husband and I have been talking about the possibilities of being polyamorous for years now, and it was only just recently that he found a woman he wanted to date seriously. Up to this point we have been monogamous in our relationship.

I am so glad to have found a site with like-minded people!


New member
Hello Forum!

I am a 42 year old woman from Eastern PA. I am recently divorced (last month) from a 18 year marriage, and a 13 year triad. My ex and I were open before we were married, and when we fell in love with our third, we realized we were poly.
It's a long story how everything ended, and I will go into it sometime, if anyone is interested. :) Anyway, I am trying to find out who I am now that I am no longer an "us". It's a slow road, a tough road, but a pretty cool one too, and I have a few poly friends helping out.
I just love this resource!


New member

Hi my name is Bernard. I am a 27 year old man living in the Boston metro area.
I recently became involved with a openly poly woman and we have a loving relationship.
As of now we have agreement which allows for fun with others but not sex. This is fine with me as I am new to poly. It has been hard for me at times to fight jealousy when I see her enjoying herself with others when we go out. Tonight for example she obviously smitten with a long term friend visiting from out of town. It was hard not to smile when I saw her so happy like that at the same time I was sad that tonight she would be cuddling with him and not me. The issue for me is not physical intimacy with others as much as losing time with her.
Anyway I have been trying to educate myself about poly and think it may be the right choice for me as I always find myself wanting more from my previous mono partners than they could give.
Perhaps having more than one partner may fulfill my needs. My current Girlfriend Liz has suggested that perhaps I find another partner besides her as we are both extremely busy with work and school and often have conflicting schedules.


New member
I hear you there....Im new to this all myself, and my lover and I initially agreed upon being mostly mono. As of yet she has yet to express feelings such as your lover has. At the same time I must admit that there is another woman I like but dont even know where to begin to explain my feelings and that we could date and I could still maintain my current relationship. For now we are just friends. Its really hard and confusing. Lately Ive been doing a lot of reading about poly, and it has really helped my ability to articulate my feelings. I excited to see where this all leads.


New member
Hello to All!

I am a 26 year old, married female who just entered into polyfidelity (along with my husband) with an amazing woman. She is wonderful and we seriously adore her. This is the first for all of us so we are all very nervous and somewhat fearful. She has abondonment and trust issues so she has problems with pushing us away at times. Furthermore, though my relationship with my new gf has blossomed, my relationship with my husband seems to be suffering somehow. I have tried to reassure him and let him know that these small arguments we have are going to stop eventually but he is under the impresssion that he is never going to be able to make the 2 of us happy and has suddenly become very negative about the whole thing. I really believe that this is just the eventual dissenigration of our married relationship so that we can rebuild our hearts to include this new person but he isn't so sure. Does anyone have any advice on this matter?

I am happy to be apart of this group and appreciate any responses I get.



New member
Now I know I'm not wierd..;~)

Hi, I'm Luckystrike, and I've always felt that I could not settle with just "one" person. And felt guilty for feeling this way.
I hope to meet others in my area that are also iso this type of lifestyle.

I live an active outdoors lifestyle, kayaking, cycling, hiking gardening and lifting.
I have never been married, or had children and made that conscious choice at 10 yrs old. I look forward to meeting ya'll!



New member
Hello all,

I'm a 20-something (bi) living with my poly boyfriend (straight) in the Northeast. In December we invited another poly straight male into the relationship and now very recently have invited another poly bi female.

We are interacting in harmony so far. I started a blog about my thoughts on our interactions. It's been really helpful so far to get my thoughts down in a diary but out there open to feedback from the poly community.

The Empress


New member
helllo all, or anybody listening
i've been single for the past 5 plus years, since my divorce, which was my choice even though i didn't know it at the time.

I have had a number (three, exclusive GF's) of great relationships. I've been a single guy in the LS, and as 1/2 of a couple.

My current relationship, going on two years, is exclusive. i wonder if i'm would be more comfortable with a Poly relationship?

I've read a number of books, listened to even more podcast and read a number of worthwhile websites - Cunning Minx hosting the best podcast, and "Sex at Dawn" being the most informitive book on sexuality.

I'm sure I'm not the 1st person to wonder if i might be more settleled in a poly relationship.


New member
Our Story

We are a well established married couple looking for a long lasting girlfriend.
We have 3 great kids and have been married 16 years.

We are both 33 years old (born only a few hours apart) We live in Texas & have most of our lives. We got married & started a family at 17 & were still here, were stable people, but feel abnormal in the small town we live in. We've never been focused on a conventional life & understand the penalties for leading a non normal life, and raise our children to be open understanding people and to be who they are, not what society tells them to be.
We are fun and funny and like insanity but we enjoy being boring sometimes too.

We have had the experience of a triad relationship with a fantastic girl that made us all extremely happy and are looking for that happiness again with someone new, something that will last. We want a relationship, not a temporary sex partner.

We recently found someone we were just going to try sleeping with, but a relationship developed & even though that was not the beginning goal we found we liked it, For a time it was great, everyone was super happy & we were a triangle. But over time she found that she just couldn't give what we were asking for now. She was young & we knew it was a possibility & can accept that & don't want to rob her of a normal life. (Even though we really wanted her to stay with us) But in the end, she was not ready for a long term relationship & has that desire for a normal life, so after 6 months we let her go being very careful not to hurt her & to remain best of friends.

But now that we know what we liked were going to look for it again, with someone looking for the same thing, and with a better understanding of ourselves and what makes us both very happy. We want to share what we have with someone, we are good soft people & have a lot of love to offer.

We will both be using this single account as we are a team.

Were not going to say "We expect someone to have the same feelings for both of us at first" but we are patient people & will wait for relationships to fully mature. And we understand how feelings can change over time & the need for openness, communication, rules, boundaries, etc.

Meow :)

::Edit - After looking through the forums, it appears were looking for a Unicorn lol
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New member

Im a pansexual woman, 33 years young, engaged to a pansexual male.

We have 2 daughters that live with me, and I have 1 son that lives with his father in WA.

We are cement strong, but would like to add more love to the mix. The bits dont really matter to us, as long as the love is true, deep and real.


New member
little koi of love

Hi folks,

Excuse the title - I'm feeling a little corny right now. Tee hee.

I've been in a closed triad for 3 years. I was married to my husband for 10 years before that.

I just proposed to my girlfriend, and she said yes! Soon our man will be proposing to her as well (i expect it will go similarly). So we're on to the task of planning our wedding ceremony. We have an officiant, yay! And now we're looking for venues... and advice in regards to ceremonies.

My husband and I have two kids, and our girlfriend has 1. We all live together. It's been quite the journey bringing us all together. Life has been very fast paced and full of change the past few years, and now we are slowing down and settling into our own rhythm.

I'm very excited for the future. It's been both a lovely and challenging journey. Fwew!



New member
I'm a mostly hippie, though sometimes yuppie, 29 y/o bisexual female living outside of Pittsburgh, PA. I recently married my best friend/boyfriend of 5 years. We both expressed our interest in a poly lifestyle pretty much immediately upon meeting. We both have pasts with other partners and find it silly to think that we should only romantically love one person. While we have participated in a swing lifestyle off and on throughout our relationship, we haven't actively sought out new relationships. We are open to the idea, though.

I'm very interested in intentional communities and feel as though a poly lifestyle would be a natural aspect of my life in that surrounding. I'm finding it harder to anticipate how I would make time for all of the important players in my life right now. We don't have any real immediate plans but are both very receptive/open to the idea of having many loves.

I'm a pretty simple girl with a passion for all things domesticated - love to play housewife/chef. I would honestly be very content barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen. I like nudity and hate bras. I really enjoy baking/decorating vegan cakes/cupcakes. When I'm not working as the director of a day program for adults with developmental disabilities, I'm spending time with the family (1 kid some days and 3 kids others). I love to explore nature, make music/sing, renovate my house, garden, can and preserve, and soak up the sun. I love road trips/adventures, swimming and backpacking.

I'd like to find myself surrounded by more kindred souls. I've enjoyed reading all of the post in this thread!
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New member
I have been with my partner for almost 7 years now (we have one 4.5 year old mini-man) and about 1.5 years ago he offered me to open up our relationship. This was great news to me and I was amazed at his generosity and elated that he felt so secure in our relationship to take that step. This is the first time for me to be in an open relationship and I have thought long and hard about what that means to us-arriving at polyamory. It seems to be what is most in tune with who I am and who we are as a couple.
Currently I am still stuck as to how to approach a person I am interested in.........why I feel that way is actually a long story-hoping to find inspiration here to jump over my own shadow.


New member
Pagan n Poly

I have been pagan for over 20 years and teach and do celebrations all year long. Have just left an exclusive lesbian relationship and would like to explore poly. Know that I can love more than one person at a time. Am presently with a man after not being with one for 12 years or so. What fun! But I would like to find folks that are interested in commitment as well as fun. I have lived in Indiana now for over 20 years and would like to stay. And my spirituality is very important to me. Am looking forward to learning from this site and getting to know some of you.


New member

Hello all!!

I'm Zusammen, which is German for "together" -- but don't read too much into that; I'm a linguist more than a sentimentalist, and I just like the way the word sounds :D

I'm 29, female, and a Canadian Kiwi.

The closest I have ever come to accurately describing my spiritual beliefs is to say that I am Chaotic Good. I am unpredictable and a little eccentric, but more than anything I hate to hurt people.

I've only identified as poly for the last year and a half or so, after 10 years of almost continuous serial monogamy. Polyamoury was a realisation more than a decision. I'm pretty darn hetero when it comes to sex, while polyamoury, for me, is about feelings, be they platonic/emotional/romantic/sexual/affectionate/familial/whatever, and about the freedom to express those feelings. I make connections frequently and easily, and recognise every connection as special and unique.

I've been with Flax, 28, mono, for just over a year.

Recently I met Ajax, who I'm really rather smitten with. I only just broke the ice with him about being poly, and actually I don't think I've even mentioned Flax to him yet, so here's hoping things will work out... :confused: