I was in a committed relationship with my girlfriend and boyfriend for a year. They are married, we all declared our love for one another, her first toward me and then him. Things were difficult at times of course, it was new to us all but there was love and we had a lotof fun and were happy, they have a child and I have two of my own, we would visit in weekends and all be one big weird happy thing.
A couple of months ago. She fell pregnant, I knew they were going to try for another but wasn't told when and it was a shock to learn it was kept from me and done so secretly. Since then, she became cold towards me, always saying she was busy (really wasn't) but eventually transpired she wanted time with him. That's fine, I'd always said we should all schedule our time together so no jealousy arose. Unfortunately it didn't seem to work that way and I admit I began to be jealous when they spent most of their time together unexpectedly, I believed I had a right to it too. Cue arguing, he took my side because she had been pushing me out for no good reason and snapping and generally acting horribly while all we did was try to make her feel better. I understand hormones but the general behaviour for weeks was appalling.
So long story short, she ended things with me, saying she no longer loved me, I was heartbroken and tried hard to get it back but she was intent on literally cutting me from her life, blocked messages and all. My boyfriend does not want to lose me and she agreed we could keep seeing each other because she didn't want him to be hurt. It's only been a week, they had friends round for a bbq yesterday and because my sister is a neighbor (small village) I was present at hers listening to them getting sadder by the minute. I sent him a text saying he could have come and at least said hello and that it hurt they could do that right in front if me, stupid I know, Im still getting used to it all.
He got very drunk and not very nice but visited me later that night for an hour because he had promised earlier in the day, we cried in each others arms about the loss we have experienced. She was texting him goodness knows what, clearly unhappy with it (she also gave a curfew on my one night with him on Wednesday texting a question mark when he was 5 minutes late)
I asked for 30 minutes with him today just to talk about the night before, he had passed out in my arms so I sent him home. Only to be told we should break up, that it's unfair on both of us (including the wife that did it all) and seems adamant to feel sorry for her but tells me a lot he was never really that happy with her, stays out of loyalty to family and a home. I would never stop that but a promise was made that we could stay together and though unfair I would do it because I love him dearly.
I realise I've not painted him out to be that great here but he really is everything I've ever wanted and we have cried together wishing it had been us. I don't know what to do, I'm terrified of the hold she has over him and just wish she could stop the insecurity and let us be, he's not allowed to text me on their days (which is most of the time) and I do understand somewhat but feel it has all been a little heartless, she was my best friend and we were so in love, she pulled me into her world so readily, to ask me for a future together and be part of their lives only to snatch it away so suddenly and I've taken it hard but try to be positive. I know I cannot lose him too and he doesn't want to but obviously feels the obligation to stand by her and does love her too.
I feel so hurt and betrayed, do I forgo my (and his) happiness for the sake of her jealousy? Can it work? I'm willing to take a step back if it means I still have him in my life, all I know is that this is pure torture right now, all I want is to be happy. Thank you if you've made it this far.
A couple of months ago. She fell pregnant, I knew they were going to try for another but wasn't told when and it was a shock to learn it was kept from me and done so secretly. Since then, she became cold towards me, always saying she was busy (really wasn't) but eventually transpired she wanted time with him. That's fine, I'd always said we should all schedule our time together so no jealousy arose. Unfortunately it didn't seem to work that way and I admit I began to be jealous when they spent most of their time together unexpectedly, I believed I had a right to it too. Cue arguing, he took my side because she had been pushing me out for no good reason and snapping and generally acting horribly while all we did was try to make her feel better. I understand hormones but the general behaviour for weeks was appalling.
So long story short, she ended things with me, saying she no longer loved me, I was heartbroken and tried hard to get it back but she was intent on literally cutting me from her life, blocked messages and all. My boyfriend does not want to lose me and she agreed we could keep seeing each other because she didn't want him to be hurt. It's only been a week, they had friends round for a bbq yesterday and because my sister is a neighbor (small village) I was present at hers listening to them getting sadder by the minute. I sent him a text saying he could have come and at least said hello and that it hurt they could do that right in front if me, stupid I know, Im still getting used to it all.
He got very drunk and not very nice but visited me later that night for an hour because he had promised earlier in the day, we cried in each others arms about the loss we have experienced. She was texting him goodness knows what, clearly unhappy with it (she also gave a curfew on my one night with him on Wednesday texting a question mark when he was 5 minutes late)
I asked for 30 minutes with him today just to talk about the night before, he had passed out in my arms so I sent him home. Only to be told we should break up, that it's unfair on both of us (including the wife that did it all) and seems adamant to feel sorry for her but tells me a lot he was never really that happy with her, stays out of loyalty to family and a home. I would never stop that but a promise was made that we could stay together and though unfair I would do it because I love him dearly.
I realise I've not painted him out to be that great here but he really is everything I've ever wanted and we have cried together wishing it had been us. I don't know what to do, I'm terrified of the hold she has over him and just wish she could stop the insecurity and let us be, he's not allowed to text me on their days (which is most of the time) and I do understand somewhat but feel it has all been a little heartless, she was my best friend and we were so in love, she pulled me into her world so readily, to ask me for a future together and be part of their lives only to snatch it away so suddenly and I've taken it hard but try to be positive. I know I cannot lose him too and he doesn't want to but obviously feels the obligation to stand by her and does love her too.
I feel so hurt and betrayed, do I forgo my (and his) happiness for the sake of her jealousy? Can it work? I'm willing to take a step back if it means I still have him in my life, all I know is that this is pure torture right now, all I want is to be happy. Thank you if you've made it this far.
