Poly Newb trying to figure things out

[MarBear]

Hello, this is quite a few firsts for me. First time posting on a forum ever (weird?) and first time getting to really talk to others about poly who have been practicing and not just wondering. So the basics are...

female, married 3 years, working on opening the marriage. I guess I say working because we are still trying to figure out what we want. husband is not sure if he wants to stay mono or to really even be highly involved with my other person, I'm not sure if I want more than one other person.

I am currently seeing another guy, he is also wanting to keep mine and his relationship open to other sexual partners, but not so much emotional relationships. So if one were to put things into hierarchy terms my husband is my primary, BF is Secondary, and I'm my BFs primary.

I'm completely new to this and honestly the hardest part is not the idea of my husband finding another partner, but my BF having one. So I guess I will be posting in other areas about how to deal with jealousy. Any polys in and around KY are welcome to message, but just for advice and chatting. Not looking to add any partners right now. Unless you are a dancer I'm always open to having a new dance partner.

 

[Magdlyn]

Hello, this is quite a few firsts for me. First time posting on a forum ever (weird?) and first time getting to really talk to others about poly who have been practicing and not just wondering. So the basics are...

female, married 3 years, working on opening the marriage. I guess I say working because we are still trying to figure out what we want. husband is not sure if he wants to stay mono or to really even be highly involved with my other person,

He doesn't need to be "highly involved" with your other partner, ever.

I'm not sure if I want more than one other person.

That's fine, and no need. Each time you add one more partner, things just get about 9 times more complicated.

I am currently seeing another guy, he is also wanting to keep mine and his relationship open to other sexual partners, but not so much emotional relationships.

Your bf doesn't get to tell you not to fall in love and keep another theoretical lover to "just sex, no feels."

So if one were to put things into hierarchy terms my husband is my primary, BF is Secondary, and I'm my BFs primary.

I'm completely new to this and honestly the hardest part is not the idea of my husband finding another partner, but my BF having one.

How long have you been with BF? If you're still in NRE (see our Glossary) you don't know him well yet, so you don't know how much his next partner will take over his mind and penis! It's natural to feel insecure. You don't know what kind of hinge of the new V he will be. Some people suck at it.

How good are you at being a hinge?

So I guess I will be posting in other areas about how to deal with jealousy. Any polys in and around KY are welcome to message, but just for advice and chatting. Not looking to add any partners right now. Unless you are a dancer I'm always open to having a new dance partner.

Welcome to the board.

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings MarBear,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Sounds like you've got some things to work out in your life and mind. We'll be happy to try and help, just let us know whatever questions you have.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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