Poly Statistics

River

River

Well-known member
This thread is for any and all discussion of polyamory in relation to statistics.

'Topic drift' is allowed, and one should not feel they are interrupting if they bring up another sub-topic while a conversation is unfolding on another.
 
I keep getting turned down for possible dates because I have a partner. And the consequence is that I'm realizing more and more that we poly and poly-friendly folks are much more rare than I used to imagine we are.

The latest guy to turn me down said he likes me but "I can't wrap my brain around the poly thing." At first he seemed somewhat more open minded, but then "the poly thing" must have finally tripped him up. (I have a partner. Just one.)

Are there any reliable or accurate statistics on what percentage of the general population are...

  • polyamorous?
  • open to dating polyamorous people?
  • open to polyamorous people with a partner?

I'm also curious to know what the statistics look like when broken down into

- heterosexuals
- bisexual men
- bisexual women
- gay men
- lesbian women
 
Its not exactly a large study but I found this:-

http://personality-testing.info/research/demographics-of-polyamory/

I think its interesting how uniform the rates of polyamory are at different age groups. I assumed people were naturally more polyamorous when young. Nope.

Another thing I would like to see is if there is a statistical correlation between personality type and polyamory. For example, is it just my imagination or do ENFPs gravitate to polyamory a lot more than other personality types. Also, in terms of the big five personality traits, does high Openness and Agreeableness correlate to polyamory? If not, then perhaps to satisfaction with polyamory as a relationship style?
 
It's a shame Wikipedia doesn't have poly statistics (yet).
 
River said:
Are there any reliable or accurate statistics on what percentage of the general population are...

  • polyamorous?
  • open to dating polyamorous people?
  • open to polyamorous people with a partner?
Click to expand...

I'm sure that there are studies (see all of the researchers who drift through this forum) but how can statistics be reliable when a lot of people don't see poly as something you are so much as an option that you can choose? For myself, I can feel open to poly with one person and with another, not happy at all about it. Poly, to me, is not a lifestyle or a commitment to a way of life, but simply an option that I take when it feels right with specific people. Any study is going to only reflect the very minute percentage of people who identify as Poly.

I find in the dating world that a lot of people are open to poly and didn't even know it until the option arises via knowing me. I don't identify as Poly or make a statement about it, but with most people I date, exclusivity is not a requirement and often that is a welcome change from the usual pressure to commit early on. I find that if someone is not open to non-exclusivity, that person likely wasn't interested in me anyway. When someone is really drawn to me personally, he tends to consider and even appreciate the open doors of the poly option.

All that said, it's Basic Poly that partnered women have a much easier time dating than partnered men. When I was living with my husband, I had a stream of men who were eager to give me a shot. The thought of being the lover of a married woman seemed to be an immediate allure, rather than something to wrap their heads around.
 
Halcyeus said:
Its not exactly a large study but I found this:-

http://personality-testing.info/research/demographics-of-polyamory/
[...]
Another thing I would like to see is if there is a statistical correlation between personality type and polyamory. For example, is it just my imagination or do ENFPs gravitate to polyamory a lot more than other personality types. Also, in terms of the big five personality traits, does high Openness and Agreeableness correlate to polyamory? If not, then perhaps to satisfaction with polyamory as a relationship style?
Click to expand...
a) I find it rather interesting that in the survey you've linked to, based on answers given by users of social networks (not considering those who defined their sex as "other"), 4.9% of women declared themselves "polyamorous" and 19% "not polyamorous but interested" compared to 8.9% and 32.1% respectively for men (i.e. slightly less than double the %ages for women in both pro-poly groups); WHEREAS, according to the What Do Polys Want?: An Overview of the 2012 Loving More Survey (which is linked to from the link you gave), a poll carried out among people over 13yo who identified as poly, 49.5% defined themselves as female, 35.4% as male, and 15.1% as 3rd gender.

What I want to know is: Does this mean that women are braver than men in actually becoming polyamorous instead of just talking about it... or that a higher %age of poly women than poly men don't waste their time on [non-poly] social-networking sites? :D

Could we carry out a survey to determine this question?

b) Does anyone want to set up a poll on this forum? The subject of character type re: the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) could be included as one of the questions.
 
MrFarFromRight said:
b) Does anyone want to set up a poll on this forum? The subject of character type re: the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) could be included as one of the questions.
Click to expand...
Other possible questions:

1) Sex

2) Sexual orientation

3) Vanilla > Hard core

4) Are you active on the following social network sites [list including Facebook, Youtube, OKCupid, etc.]

5) Are you "out" as poly on the following social network sites [list including Facebook, Youtube, OKCupid, etc.]

6) Are you "out" as poly
a) at work
b) with your friends: none...a few...more or less...with most...with all...
c) with your family: none...a few...more or less...with most...with all...
d) at your place of worship
e) with people whom you meet at parties: always...never...only if I fancy them...only if I'm drunk/stoned/other...
f) with strangers

7) Would you rather vote for
a) Donald Trump
b) Donald Duck
c) Howard The Duck
d) Jill Stein
e) that other woman candidate, her name escapes me just now
f) any candidate who declares themselves to be poly
g) other............
 
Does LM anywhere come up with some answers for their headline question? :confused:

A "straw poll" is easy to do without getting into deep weeds. As soon as you try to come up with some depth, it bogs down quickly. Read the "Limitations and Caveats" section.

Sure, "we" could do it, & it'd be a lot of work.

Begin by defining "polyamorous." Make it clear & unambiguous.

Does that include everyone who has more than one sexual partner per year but identifies as monogamous?

Does that include everyone who wants to have more than one sexual partner, but has no actual experience at it?

Does that include chronic cheaters who call this polyamory?

Once you have your universe -- all people who fit the agreed-upon standard definition of "polyamorous" -- how will you go about selecting a representative sample?
 
Halcyeus said:
For example, is it just my imagination or do ENFPs gravitate to polyamory a lot more than other personality types.
Click to expand...
I'm going to go with "yes" on this one, and put it down to your imagination. I pretty much break the scale as an "I" on the MBTI (ISTP) and most of my local poly community seems to be similar (which could be why I once heard the local organised meet-up group referred to as the "poly anti-social group").
 
Haha! I just took that personality quiz and guess what I got? ENFP!

And as far as age goes-- I am in my 40's and my partners are in their early 50's. I had an open marriage in my 20's but closed it when kids came along. Did not know what poly was, or that it was a "thing" until about a year ago.
 
I want to thank you and curse you for posting the link to this personality test.
I took it and it was like crazy how spot on it was. So spot on its scary.

But it's not the same as what others have said they have gotten so I'm a little shocked that I got it and I practice polyamory. Very interesting and must learn more.


I forgot to add what my results were. Intj. I read the description to MadMan and he asked if they wrote it for me specifically.
 
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River said:
At first he seemed somewhat more open minded, but then "the poly thing" must have finally tripped him up. (I have a partner. Just one.)
Click to expand...

Open-minded means willing to consider new ideas. It doesn't mean accepting every new idea to which you are introduced. Clearly, he is open-minded. He did consider poly. He talked about it, he talked with you.

He made a decision he doesn't want to date someone with a partner, and there are very good reasons for such a decision. It's a perfectly legitimate choice, and has nothing to do with 'open-minded.'
 
Halcyeus said:
Another thing I would like to see is if there is a statistical correlation between personality type and polyamory. For example, is it just my imagination or do ENFPs gravitate to polyamory a lot more than other personality types. Also, in terms of the big five personality traits, does high Openness and Agreeableness correlate to polyamory? If not, then perhaps to satisfaction with polyamory as a relationship style?
Click to expand...
We have a long thread here with "Myers Briggs" in the title, if you want to do a search. In it, I recall a lot of INFP and INTJ polyfolk, not ENFP, but I could be mis-remembering. If you give credence to that sort of categorization (which many do not), you could find that thread, count and tally all the responses, and make a spreadsheet, ha!
 
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Dr. Shef, who does research and writing about poly, has a website/blog where she sometimes posts relevant surveys. https://elisabethsheff.com/ I've found the ones I've taken there to be better than the usual, more professional.

I highly doubt any particular personality type is over represented in poly circles. Maybe people who score highly on openness but even that may be closer to the average distribution.
 
Yeah, one's MBTI probably doesn't correlate much with one's poly decisions.
 
WhatHappened said:
Open-minded means willing to consider new ideas. It doesn't mean accepting every new idea to which you are introduced. Clearly, he is open-minded. He did consider poly. He talked about it, he talked with you.

He made a decision he doesn't want to date someone with a partner, and there are very good reasons for such a decision. It's a perfectly legitimate choice, and has nothing to do with 'open-minded.'
Click to expand...

I'm in general agreement with all of these statements. And I was in accord with the spirit of these statements when I said what I said, which you quoted WhatHappened.

Even still, I'm in agreement with those in this forum (many) who have at times pointed out that monogamy is "the default setting" in the culture/s in which most of us dwell. It's socially expected, and often even demanded. One receives much rebuke, generally, for straying from monogamy as a practice and the thoughts and beliefs which tend to underlie the practice.

So one can be open minded about polyamory (or non-monogamy more generally) to an extent while not quite open minded enough to question the pervasive underlying assumptions which underlie monogamy.

I do NOT believe that all open minded people must naturally want to date someone with a partner. I consider monogamy a valid approach to relationships. I don't judge monogamous people as wrong or inferior. But I strongly suspect open mindedness is a spectrum, not a single point like "on" or "off," "yes" or "no".

I deeply respect those monogamous people who are able and willing to examine the underlying assumptions they hold about loving relationships and conclude that non-monogamy isn't for them.


....


I wish to thank everyone here for their responses to this thread. I'll have more to say on the topic soon. :)



.
 
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