Poly-to be or not to be

[Heart to heart]

Hi, I’m new here. I’m 68. My husband(68 also) and I have been married for nearly 40 years. Crazy! I know! We’ve been lucky to have enjoyed raising 3 wonderful sons, and we’ve also been crushedby the loss of our oldest and younger boys. Needless to say, we’ve experienced our share of trauma and grief. Nearly 6 years ago my partner D shared with me that he’d been exploring with others, without my knowledge. We recovered our relationship with the help of a poly friendly therapist, and several months following we made the decision to open our marriage. We’ve experienced lots of twists and turns in this lifestyle, and we’ve learned a lot about ourselves and each other. Our current conundrum, and the reason I’m seeking support is that I’ve decided that I would prefer to go back to monogamy and D is quite happy with his 2 partners and me and remaining in a poly lifestyle. I’m struggling to wrap my head around being the mono of a mono-poly couple. As much as I want for his happiness, I want to feel happy too. Thus far in our journey I’ve never experienced the feeling of compersion. I need to connect with others that may have useful advice and can understand my situation. I’m feeling very alone.

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Heart to heart,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I looked at your other thread, and responded there briefly. To summarize, I just wanted to clarify what you meant by mono/poly, and based on your response it sounds like you would rather both of you were monogamous, but you understand that's not an option at this point, and you're trying to be okay with it. Hopefully the time you spend on this forum will help you with that process.

I'm glad you're here in any case.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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[Heart to heart]

Hi Kevin,
Nice to hear from you again. Yes. That is correct. I would like for both my husband and I to be monogamous and being that that is not an option I’m trying to be ok with it. Thank you for your support. I’ll check out Golden Nuggets.

 

[kdt26417]

Sounds good, and I hope I can be of further help. Perhaps I could start by asking, Could you articulate what it is that makes it hard for you to accept your husband's polyamorous nature?