I've been dating someone new for about 5 months. He has a partner back home who's uncomfortable with our relationship and has sent me an emotional message trying to scare me away.
Bryan describes his relationship with her as difficult, potentially unhealthy, and a "trauma bond." I feel triggered when I see him texting and calling her, especially during our time together.
We recently had a deep connection, but I felt intensely triggered seeing her message on his phone. I spent a day crying it out. It hurts. I had briefly accepted her as part of his process, which felt better, but the triggers persist.
I'm considering whether it's better to avoid romantic involvement with him while he's still involved with her, but I'm unsure how to do that.
I'm unclear about why I feel so bad or how to alleviate these feelings.This is my first experience with a deeper polyamorous relationship.
I want to understand my feelings, learn how to work through them with him, and determine if I can maintain a relationship with him while he has another partner, especially one who dislikes me and may be in an unhealthy dynamic with him.
What are some clarifying questions I can Ask myself, and how may I communicate with him and her, to clarify my feelings and the situation?
Bryan describes his relationship with her as difficult, potentially unhealthy, and a "trauma bond." I feel triggered when I see him texting and calling her, especially during our time together.
We recently had a deep connection, but I felt intensely triggered seeing her message on his phone. I spent a day crying it out. It hurts. I had briefly accepted her as part of his process, which felt better, but the triggers persist.
I'm considering whether it's better to avoid romantic involvement with him while he's still involved with her, but I'm unsure how to do that.
I'm unclear about why I feel so bad or how to alleviate these feelings.This is my first experience with a deeper polyamorous relationship.
I want to understand my feelings, learn how to work through them with him, and determine if I can maintain a relationship with him while he has another partner, especially one who dislikes me and may be in an unhealthy dynamic with him.
What are some clarifying questions I can Ask myself, and how may I communicate with him and her, to clarify my feelings and the situation?