Polyamory and Ethnicity

where?

Candiedlove said:
I'm Asian. And isn't the definition of minority that they are, well, the minority?
Click to expand...

Cuz in BC. Canada everyone else seems to be but mostly upwardly straight white folk and yes I am too a visible born raised Canadian bi racial but identify BLACK BABY yea! :p
 
In Canada

kdt26417 said:
Heh, greetings Hades36, good to see you again. :D

I think one's "poly visibility" (or likelihood to be practicing a poly life) is actually influenced by a complex array of factors, for example not just one's ethnicity but also what part of the world one lives in. I believe Eponine spoke well when she contrasted a world of collectivist culture against a world of individualist culture.

Perhaps this is off-topic and uncomfortable for me to ask, but, I am wondering if white folks have (up until now) felt more free to be openly gay than folks of color. What I'm driving at is, is it a "white man's tradition" to attend sexually innovative conventions (and potlucks) and to march in parades? Heck is any of this related to the 70's when it was much easier for white students to get into famous colleges and then come to fight for social change in the environment of those colleges? Maybe if the social order pushes some people onto a relatively blue-collar career path, those people won't have time for the kind of crusading that the privileged class congratulates itself for.

If I'm right in suggesting that, then I should note that it's probably mostly just an American (Western in general?) problem.

I mean I know minorities have sacrificed much to do marches and demonstrations for their racial rights ... yet, usually when I picture a get-together of gay people, I picture most of them being white. Is that a problem of my own personal perception, or does this poly/racial subject also relate to gay/racial matters? and kink/racial matters too, come to think of it. Even disability/racial matters. It's okay if I need a kick in the rear here for being way out of line. I just wanted to ask.

Sometimes I think that the internet is our greatest hope right now of dissolving some of the racial divides that exist (both in poly matters, and in other matters). It helps when people can't make as many assumptions about the ethnicity of the other person they've just met on their computer screen. At least that's my theory ...
Click to expand...

Here in bc as most know gay marriage first caused Canada wide but i have both US cousins gay not out yet My canuck cuzins are way out 20 30 yrs previous or more some so America has a piety problem stol land still don't do nothin to raise your huddle masses so the need not grovel or huddle in slum areas but we have natives without electricity here blacks held hi but in prairies horrible but to the point no black culture there very different upbringing and here were no slaves they came here that said is it cultural you tell me a black woman of your american culture is far fr catching up to ours...Now that said yea ridicule comes from ignorance and religious freaks u have but here freedom first a ur free to be religious even tho in old testament organised religion an deities are ground on but all christian do love there saints to pray to so y would they look out side their taught n told theories of right an wrong was that not how these 2 countries were made by enslaving one race the two and standing on the necks of thee original peoples .
So to finish ,when religion an faith r realised to be separate then maybe that church dude who read you your sermons was wrong and its all in interoperated different be ye catholic to evangelistic so whose right we ALL ARE! for each to their own as it should be as wasn't it some dude in a book long ago said be happy in yourself and the knowledge it will bring now could b said the internet still need push harder!!! :D
 
Based on discussions I've lurked on in the PolyResearchers group, the few surveys there are show that people in the US who identify as poly are predominantly white, with a smaller representation of minorities than the national demographics would suggest.

The problem with these surveys is they don't include poly folk who are in the closet or groups like those Hades mentioned. There's been some pretty huge discussions in PolyResearchers about whether groups like that should be considered poly or not. They are clearly non-monogamous and structure is a way that resembles some poly relationship, but if they choose not to ID as poly do we have the right to stick that label on them and claim them as part of what we are doing?

This ties in with larger discussions about poly and politics--do we push for poly rights (as someone whose kids were taken from her for being poly my answer is whole-heartedly "Yes!"). If we do can we focus on poly rights, or should we include all forms of ethical non-monogamy in our fight? If we push for poly rights will people who don't ID as poly be covered by the same protections? How do we not walk in the footsteps of the LG(BT) rights movement, and the way it for years focused almost exclusively on L&G rights while ignoring or throwing B&T under the bus?

Huge, long, discussions about this stuff, and no easy answers.
 
kdt26417 said:
Perhaps this is off-topic and uncomfortable for me to ask, but, I am wondering if white folks have (up until now) felt more free to be openly gay than folks of color. What I'm driving at is, is it a "white man's tradition" to attend sexually innovative conventions (and potlucks) and to march in parades? Heck is any of this related to the 70's when it was much easier for white students to get into famous colleges and then come to fight for social change in the environment of those colleges? Maybe if the social order pushes some people onto a relatively blue-collar career path, those people won't have time for the kind of crusading that the privileged class congratulates itself for.
Click to expand...

Vague recollection of seeing studies and surveys on this question, with the answer that black men (I don't recall seeing anything discussing women) under a huge amount of pressure to not be gay, due to culture stuff and probably related to the hyper-masculinity which has become part of the idealized 'black man.' I remember a few black feminist blogs writing about this about the time the one basketball player (Collins?) came out last year.

Pushing for social change is definitely a province of the young, if only because the young are less likely to have jobs to lose, families to take care of, etc, and can afford to go to Washington for a week, or put all their time into organizing marches. Read a fascinating article once about how a large part of the success of the Civil Rights movement in the 60s was how they used the existing organization of black churches as a basis for the movement's organization.

I don't know about pushing for social change being a province of the rich, I expect the tendency of change to explore of colleges has a great deal to do with the way colleges gather a huge group of young people with lots of energy, black&white views of the world, and plenty of time on their hands, but access to money definitely helps. (though as Obama's fundraising campaigns demonstrated, a well-organized group that is able to motivate a large number of small donations can work just as well as just having large amounts of money)
 
Hey swirl,

I take it you're saying Canada is doing better with race issues (which is no surprise), and that organized religions can cause some divisiveness. As for the internet needing even more momentum, I say amen. :)

@ JessicaBurde ... my first thought is that poly rights could be pushed for per se, but in such a way as to grant responsible non-monogamists in general more rights as well. As for how to sort out the demographics, I think I vote to let individual people eschew the poly label if they want to and not apply it to them in adding up the numbers. A better long-term solution is to get poly (and poly dialog) more out in the middle of public discourse where more people will hear about poly and consider it as it relates to their own lives.

Will widespread churches eventually advocate for polyamorists? I think right now some are struggling to advocate for homosexuals, but that battle is just begun. I personally am a pretty lame poly activist: My version of activism is joining a local poly group (and reading/posting on poly forums :)). I guess I'm a believer in slow change, change that originates in the minds of the people. A new way of looking at things precedes a new way of handling things, to sum it up. I also think showing by example that poly is "no big deal" will help improve collective consciousness about poly, but I'm not even that good of an activist because I live almost entirely in the closet. About the only example I set is set right here in posts on this website.
 
Hades36 said:
Hey everyone! It's been a long time since I was on this board, even as a lurker. But, yeah, so i see you folks are still talking about the minorities in poly thing? Cool!
Click to expand...

Hey there, Hades36! I haven't been posting much myself - just been too busy - but it's so-o-o-oooooo nice to see you here again! I do think of you from time to time, since Philly's so close to NYC! Someday, maybe a visit....

:)
 
Being new to poly, this was something I wondered about a lot. Being black myself, I wondered if I could even be apart of a community like this. As weird as it sounds, I do like that there is discussion about it.

Personally, I tend to be "that one black lady" at many places I go to.
 
D'oh -- you're the "token black lady." Well we're workin' on it ... :)

Welcome.
 
I find this thread really interesting and have enjoyed reading several pages of responses! I found it by searching for "cultural differences", and although it's been left dormant for some months, I can't resist posting.

I am in a bit of a unique situation. My husband (primary) and my tertiary (J) are Caucasian, but my secondary, M, is ethnically subcontinental Indian, raised in the US by immigrant parents. Still in the process of learning some details of his culture, but I have always grown up with a fair amount of Indian friends and I find myself strangely drawn to them as a whole. My closest girlfriend right now is also Indian.

I am a 100% European, extremely pale-skinned redhead. (Irish, French, German, Croatian). Interestingly, I have always had a very multicultural group of friends and am apparently attractive to a number of different ethnicities. In grade school I had an African-American 'boyfriend', in college one of my best friends was a Saudi man. I have dated Armenian, French/Iraqi, Basque/Jordanian, Jewish, Indian, and Caucasian men.

Being newly exposed to the Poly community, I do wonder if I will face the same criticisms that I have for much of my life for associating with people outside my own ethnicity. My hope is that the open-minded ideas of Polyamory extend beyond the color of skin and cultural differences. Personally, I find differences exciting and love learning about cultural ideas and practices that are far from what I grew up with. I love M for the man he is, for the sensitive intelligent soul he has, but I also love learning about the culture that contributed to the man he has become.
 
Fascinating but scary

Hi everyone,
As a black woman born in England I have found this discussion fascinating. I have experience very little racism in my life and no racism when it comes to sexuality. My first and only poly experience has been with a black couple but I don't believe their colour attracted me, I have always been attracted to personalities. I date people because of who they are and would like to believe that People date me because I am pretty, sexy and of good character. As I venture out into the wider poly community, I hope I do not have to face rejection because of my ethnicity.

Pollly3, bi-poly, recently single::eek:
 
Re:
"As I venture out into the wider poly community, I hope I do not have to face rejection because of my ethnicity."
Click to expand...

Amen!

I'm optimistic about most poly circles ... although you may have to face some ignorance from time to time, that's at least not malicious.
 
Thanks

kdt26417 said:
Re:


Amen!

I'm optimistic about most poly circles ... although you may have to face some ignorance from time to time, that's at least not malicious.
Click to expand...

Thanks for that. As I get on well with the people I come across, I am sure it will be cool::cool:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top