Question about triad threesomes

S

StrawberryMoon

New member
Hello,

I was curious to know how people in triads can possibly feel intimacy during a threesome. Wouldn't you feel left out at some points?

I wonder how a person can be intimate with two people at once. I mean, you can only look in one person's eyes at a time, and share a moment, and only two people can lie close face to face, right? How does it work, exactly, so the third doesn't feel left out?

If I were in a triad relationship and loved two people (and they loved each other), I would only want intimate sex with each of them at different times....
 
You'll find many poly people don't have any group sex at all and it would be a hard limit for a partner to expect it. Even the poly people who do have group sex often have it with casual partners in swinging environments, as opposed to a "full" romantic partner.

There are logistics to threesomes, regardless of whether the people involved are poly or not. From my experience, it's rare that everyone has exactly the same enjoyment from group sex. There is an element where it's not always equal, but if you have regular threesomes with some or all of the people, it balances out over time. Sometimes A has the best time and B and C have an average time. Sometimes B and C have the best time, and A has an average time. But over a year, everyone had a roughly equal number of "best times" so it balances out.
 
Speaking for myself, when I'm having sex and being intimate with a partner, I don't have 100% eye contact with my partner. Sometimes my eyes are closed, sometimes I'm staring at nothing, sometimes I'm not even near his head or in a position to look at him. But it's all intimate. Same goes when another person is involved.

Threesomes are a bit of give and take. If you are a person who is all give or all take, then you'll have a harder time, as you don't understand the intimacy of the thing you don't do.

They can be intensely intimate, as you can be giving and taking at the same time, or receiving from two at once. This dynamic can make the intimacy you feel much stronger.

In the case of triads, you can have sex with each individually, or all three together, and most have some combination.

I’d say to try it before deciding it's a hard no. You’ll probably find you enjoy it very much and would want it in the mix, at least occasionally.
 
Hello StrawberryMoon,

I don't know how threesomes work. I guess in theory there are special positions that would involve all three people (giving and receiving) at the same time. Sort of a triangle position, if that makes any sense.

Yes, face-to-face interactions can only be done between two people at any one time. So in that sense, I guess it's not possible to experience intimacy during a threesome -- unless you count taking turns.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
I don't love threesome or foursome sex. I have done it maybe 6 or 7 times over many years. The best sessions were actually with former or current swingers, only one of which was a fairly serious bf. The other three swingers I had group sex with were more FWBs of mine, and the sessions were just one-offs. But the intimacy was there, it was very pleasantly intense and creative, and the sharing done by the swingers were great. They understood how to keep everyone involved and excited, by using actual spoken communication, suggestions to try this or that position, or communicating how they felt and what they liked, and encouraging and praising each of us, etc., etc.

I've also had a couple crappy threeways, where one of the players was pretty self-involved, and didn't make sure everyone was included, left someone kind of sitting on the sidelines for too long, didn't ask consent for things, said they'd do one thing and did something else, etc.

I have no interest in being in a long-term triad, not because of the concept of group sex, but because of the chance of each dyad in a triad developing at different paces, and throwing all the balance off and causing envy and sadness.
 
Both the wife and the girlfriend get a lot of pleasure from watching the other one with me, and I get a lot of pleasure from watching them with each other.
Nobody is sitting out, sometimes it's a pair focused on each other with the third "helping" wherever they fit in. Sometimes it's two focusing on one to bring that person maximum pleasure. For example, I travel a lot for work. While I'm gone, the girls get to be a pair. Then, when I get back, they will both focus on me to welcome me home.
It works because we all enjoy giving pleasure to the others, even if we are not getting as much in return. Next time, you'll be the one getting more than you give. I can see how this wouldn't work for people that don't get together on a regular basis. That would make it more important to find balance in each encounter.
 
SquishyHusk said:
Both the wife and the girlfriend get a lot of pleasure from watching the other one with me, and I get a lot of pleasure from watching them with each other.
Nobody is sitting out, sometimes it's a pair focused on each other with the third "helping" wherever they fit in. Sometimes it's two focusing on one to bring that person maximum pleasure. For example, I travel a lot for work. While I'm gone, the girls get to be a pair. Then, when I get back, they will both focus on me to welcome me home.
It works because we all enjoy giving pleasure to the others, even if we are not getting as much in return. Next time, you'll be the one getting more than you give. I can see how this wouldn't work for people that don't get together on a regular basis. That would make it more important to find balance in each encounter.
Click to expand...
So if you're a couple who swings with random people, you take the same concept of balance, but between the two of you. So I might know that Jules likes someone with trait X and I like someone with trait Y, so if we go through a spell of a lot of X people, we might pointedly seek out some Y people and even actively turn down X's to keep available for passing Y's.

I just realise the X Y thing makes it sound like it's biological sex I'm referring to, I'm really not. It could be Dom/sub, or an aesthetic appearance. Any trait.
 
StrawberryMoon said:
Hello,

I was curious to know how people in triads can possibly feel intimacy during a threesome. Wouldn't you feel left out at some points?

I wonder how a person can be intimate with two people at once. I mean, you can only look in one person's eyes at a time, and share a moment, and only two people can lie close face to face, right? How does it work, exactly, so the third doesn't feel left out?

If I were in a triad relationship and loved two people (and they loved each other), I would only want intimate sex with each of them at different times....
Click to expand...
Do you dislike sex in positions where you are not face to face / having eye contact?

Is sex for you mostly about emotional connection?

People who enjoy threesomes usually find it erotic to watch people (or at least watch the people they like/love) doing sexual things to each other. That's part of the appeal of it.

I personally am not at all into threesomes.
 
The handful of times I've had a threesome, it wasn't with people I was in love with, so no one missed gazing into the others' eyes and sharing a moment. Pretty hard to make eye contact when you're on your back being fisted anyway, even if you are in love with the owner of the fist.
 
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