Slut
New member
Hi Everyone
I am living with my boyfriend of three and a half years. When our relationship began I was very straight forward with him about the fact that I did not want to be monogamous. He said he was ok with this. However every time I was intimate with other people he would become very upset. It was upsetting for me to deal with this every time, so I stopped seeing other people. My boyfriend has not been with anyone else during our relationship.
Currently we have a close mutual friend living with us who I have become attracted to. I brought this up with my bf and we started a dialogue.
Though I think I've always known inside of myself that I am not a monoamorous being, I grew up in a very small, conservative town and wasn't exposed to much else. I proceeded to enter unhealthy relationships with possessive, controlling men that provided very little or no space to explore alternative relationship styles.
We are now at a spot where we are both reading, researching, and learning about polyamory and ethical non-monogamy. The three of us have sat down and discussed the situation and our feelings several times now.
We read and we talk and we read and we talk and we read and... you get the point... It's been about six weeks since I first brought up the topic again.
My bf is dealing with a lot of jealousy and insecurity and our friend and I haven't slept together yet hoping that we can all get into a more comfortable space before that happens and are trying really hard to accommodate my bf's feelings. He says he wants to experience compersion but hasn't been able to so far. I guess this is common None of us want to jeaprodise the friendships that we have.
I'm tired.
I'm exhausted.
This is not about me sleeping with our friend. I know that whether or not that ends up happening, this is a necessary transition because I am now fully aware that I am not comfortable being in a monogamous relationship, and won't be, and won't be able to pretend like I'm ok trying to be.
I'm just looking for some general support through this experience. I'm tired of patriarchal mononormativity and colonialist ideals constantly being shoved down my throat all around me. I'm tired of people reacting to polyamory like a perverted sexual fetish. I'm tired of feeling like my emotions are less valid because what I want goes against the societal norm.
Basically, I just want to feel a little less crazy!
Thank you
I am living with my boyfriend of three and a half years. When our relationship began I was very straight forward with him about the fact that I did not want to be monogamous. He said he was ok with this. However every time I was intimate with other people he would become very upset. It was upsetting for me to deal with this every time, so I stopped seeing other people. My boyfriend has not been with anyone else during our relationship.
Currently we have a close mutual friend living with us who I have become attracted to. I brought this up with my bf and we started a dialogue.
Though I think I've always known inside of myself that I am not a monoamorous being, I grew up in a very small, conservative town and wasn't exposed to much else. I proceeded to enter unhealthy relationships with possessive, controlling men that provided very little or no space to explore alternative relationship styles.
We are now at a spot where we are both reading, researching, and learning about polyamory and ethical non-monogamy. The three of us have sat down and discussed the situation and our feelings several times now.
We read and we talk and we read and we talk and we read and... you get the point... It's been about six weeks since I first brought up the topic again.
My bf is dealing with a lot of jealousy and insecurity and our friend and I haven't slept together yet hoping that we can all get into a more comfortable space before that happens and are trying really hard to accommodate my bf's feelings. He says he wants to experience compersion but hasn't been able to so far. I guess this is common None of us want to jeaprodise the friendships that we have.
I'm tired.
I'm exhausted.
This is not about me sleeping with our friend. I know that whether or not that ends up happening, this is a necessary transition because I am now fully aware that I am not comfortable being in a monogamous relationship, and won't be, and won't be able to pretend like I'm ok trying to be.
I'm just looking for some general support through this experience. I'm tired of patriarchal mononormativity and colonialist ideals constantly being shoved down my throat all around me. I'm tired of people reacting to polyamory like a perverted sexual fetish. I'm tired of feeling like my emotions are less valid because what I want goes against the societal norm.
Basically, I just want to feel a little less crazy!
Thank you