Reformed Poly

[Hela]

Hi there.
My name is Hela, residing in a mountainous region of the US. I am 28 and have a career working with animals by day and serve at a restaurant 3 or 4 days a week by night.

While recently divorced from an unhealthy poly marriage, I have many friends who have become poly in the time I've discovered the lifestyle. I no longer identify as poly currently because of the bad experience within my marriage left me exhausted and incredibly unfulfilled, but I dont believe that's necessarily a reflection on poly as much as I know it was because of unhealthy dynamics and my not being honest with myself. I still support the scene and have much experience to pull from. I know this can be a successful dynamic if all parties are honest with each other, which was unfortunately not the case in my experience.

I am currently in a monogamous relationship with my BF Loki. He and I have been discussing prospects of opening our dynamic to swinging for a number of reasons.

I am here as a supporter to the community as well as someone that needs guidance themselves working through my shift in dynamics and hangups after my nightmare experience I had with my husband, which I allowed to go on for far too long. I hope you all dont judge me too harshly as I know there are things I still need to work through. Either way, I look forward to being a part of this community.

That being said, are there any others here who are swingers and not poly? Either way, tell me your dynamic and why it works for you.

 

[JaneQSmythe]

That being said, are there any others here who are swingers and not poly? Either way, tell me your dynamic and why it works for you.

Just as you don't ID as poly but are a supporter. I don't ID as a swinger but as a supporter. We get along. I do ID as poly, I love more that one person, my husband and my boyfriend. But I also ID as open, in that NSA sex is fine with me as well. Neither of my boys is in to swinging so I don't know much about that scene other than it sounds to be fairly "couple-centric". In the future if I find myself a swinger girlfriend... (Is there a lesbian swinger scene? I'm not terribly into random dick )

 

[Hela]

Just as you don't ID as poly but are a supporter. I don't ID as a swinger but as a supporter. We get along. I do ID as poly, I love more that one person, my husband and my boyfriend. But I also ID as open, in that NSA sex is fine with me as well. Neither of my boys is in to swinging so I don't know much about that scene other than it sounds to be fairly "couple-centric". In the future if I find myself a swinger girlfriend... (Is there a lesbian swinger scene? I'm not terribly into random dick )

Nor am I, really. Coming from a poly mindframe, I am also somewhat demisexual. I have let Loki know that most of our Male encounters, I will likely not want to fuck them. However, I am very open minded and that could change, but will be talked about if it does.

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Hela,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I take it you are coming from somewhat of a rough past, I sympathize. It sounds like things are going better for you now, I am glad for that. Loki sounds like a great guy. (I read your blog post.) To let you know, my dynamic is a poly V. You can read more about it in my blog if you want. Don't worry, I won't judge you in any way, we all have things to work through and that is okay. I hope we can help you with guidance and support. Glad you could join us.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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