TytoOwl
New member
Hello there. So lately I've been having a little bit of an issue, but first a little background info I think.
So I'm 20 years old and this year, back in March, I entered into my first romantic relationship with my current partner, we'll call Tray. We met through tinder and it all was great and within about about 3-4 dates we decided to be a couple. He had been poly for a while, since highschool I believe, and this was my first ever relationship. I had considered Polyamory for a long time in life prior to meeting Tray so I didn't have much reluctance about it.
Over the summer we saw each other a lot, every week at least. Tray had gone on a couple dates and had a short lived partner. For me the summer had been a bit rough, my mother did not support my relationship with Tray on the point that he was trans (ftm), this hurt me a lot and without a lot of friends I pretty much exclusivity hung out with Tray. As the summer grew to an end and I was making plans to return to school Tray entered a relationship with an older person who we'll call Andy. Andy was in his 30s with 3 kids where Tray was only 18, soon to be 19 at this point. I had my concerns at first but eventually accepted the relationship. Tray and I never had any real arguments or discussions about it.
The summer ended and I had just moved back to school and Tray would be starting work soon after. One evening Tray had called me to tell me that he was going to be getting married to Andy and he had wanted me to be his best man. I was admittedly quite shocked and a little overwhelmed by the news. I wanted to clear things up befyi made a decision and after a reassurance that nothing between Tray and I would change I told him I'd be his best man.
(Main Part)
After a couple weeks Tray and I saw each other weekly as usual. Tray had expressed great anxiety about returning to work and it threw him off for a little while and when he'd visit we'd do little more than grab a bite to eat and watch TV and nap. He told me that he had been very tired so I told him that next weekend he should just take the time to his self. A week went by and he things seemed a little better. The next week was his birthday week and I have put together a fun little plan with dinner and a couple presents. On the day of the little get-together he called me shortly after he said he'd left his home, he was very short with me on the phone and gave off a careless attitude. He called to tell me that the main highway he always took to my school was under construction and he couldn't come, I was a bit upset by it as I had a lot planned and from my end it seemed like he had didn't even care or just saw it as a choir I was a little short back and we both hung up. Later that weekend Tray explained that he had a panic attack and that's what set him off. We made up and got over it.
Since then things haven't been getting any better, Tray had been very quiet and unresponsive, not answering messages, calls or taking vary long to do so. On he Snapchat story I could see him going to outings with partners or out on errands. Last night he messaged me back and I'd told him that I was missing him, we talked for a little bit and he was a little closed off only giving one word responses to simple questions. As we talked a little more he had told me that "he'd been a little off lately" and part of it was that he felt that "he didn't love me as much as I loved him." This kinda hit me hard. In the morning we continued or little discussion. I'd told him how he was really my only friend over the summer and my "hypothesis" (if you wanna call it that) is that he was my only partner and my first partner so I I didn't really have anyone to put my affection to other than him where as he has multiple partners he can give his affection too. We both agreed it'd be better to talk in person and have a good discussion.
Sorry for such a long post. I hope to hear from anyone about their thoughts on the matter at hand regarding the differences in love between partners. Sorry if it's difficult to read, it's hard to explain lol.
Additional Info
I had recently been talking to a potential partner I'd meet online, we haven't gone on a date yet but are eager to meet. Tray is knowing and supportive of this endeavor.
So I'm 20 years old and this year, back in March, I entered into my first romantic relationship with my current partner, we'll call Tray. We met through tinder and it all was great and within about about 3-4 dates we decided to be a couple. He had been poly for a while, since highschool I believe, and this was my first ever relationship. I had considered Polyamory for a long time in life prior to meeting Tray so I didn't have much reluctance about it.
Over the summer we saw each other a lot, every week at least. Tray had gone on a couple dates and had a short lived partner. For me the summer had been a bit rough, my mother did not support my relationship with Tray on the point that he was trans (ftm), this hurt me a lot and without a lot of friends I pretty much exclusivity hung out with Tray. As the summer grew to an end and I was making plans to return to school Tray entered a relationship with an older person who we'll call Andy. Andy was in his 30s with 3 kids where Tray was only 18, soon to be 19 at this point. I had my concerns at first but eventually accepted the relationship. Tray and I never had any real arguments or discussions about it.
The summer ended and I had just moved back to school and Tray would be starting work soon after. One evening Tray had called me to tell me that he was going to be getting married to Andy and he had wanted me to be his best man. I was admittedly quite shocked and a little overwhelmed by the news. I wanted to clear things up befyi made a decision and after a reassurance that nothing between Tray and I would change I told him I'd be his best man.
(Main Part)
After a couple weeks Tray and I saw each other weekly as usual. Tray had expressed great anxiety about returning to work and it threw him off for a little while and when he'd visit we'd do little more than grab a bite to eat and watch TV and nap. He told me that he had been very tired so I told him that next weekend he should just take the time to his self. A week went by and he things seemed a little better. The next week was his birthday week and I have put together a fun little plan with dinner and a couple presents. On the day of the little get-together he called me shortly after he said he'd left his home, he was very short with me on the phone and gave off a careless attitude. He called to tell me that the main highway he always took to my school was under construction and he couldn't come, I was a bit upset by it as I had a lot planned and from my end it seemed like he had didn't even care or just saw it as a choir I was a little short back and we both hung up. Later that weekend Tray explained that he had a panic attack and that's what set him off. We made up and got over it.
Since then things haven't been getting any better, Tray had been very quiet and unresponsive, not answering messages, calls or taking vary long to do so. On he Snapchat story I could see him going to outings with partners or out on errands. Last night he messaged me back and I'd told him that I was missing him, we talked for a little bit and he was a little closed off only giving one word responses to simple questions. As we talked a little more he had told me that "he'd been a little off lately" and part of it was that he felt that "he didn't love me as much as I loved him." This kinda hit me hard. In the morning we continued or little discussion. I'd told him how he was really my only friend over the summer and my "hypothesis" (if you wanna call it that) is that he was my only partner and my first partner so I I didn't really have anyone to put my affection to other than him where as he has multiple partners he can give his affection too. We both agreed it'd be better to talk in person and have a good discussion.
Sorry for such a long post. I hope to hear from anyone about their thoughts on the matter at hand regarding the differences in love between partners. Sorry if it's difficult to read, it's hard to explain lol.
Additional Info
I had recently been talking to a potential partner I'd meet online, we haven't gone on a date yet but are eager to meet. Tray is knowing and supportive of this endeavor.
