Sex

C

Charmaine

New member
Let talk sex ….


Over the past few days I’ve been getting use to the new relationship dynamics of my home with my best friends moving in and the 3 of us becoming a closed vee/hinge relationship



Me and my husband have been together 8 year married for 2


I’ve really been struggling with the idea of them having a sexual relationship

Don’t know weather I’m wrong for thinking the I had been but I’m my head if they had just got on and did the deed sooner rather than later I would be hurt emotionally but then could work through it instead of sitting up waiting at night for something to happy or constantly looking over my shoulder thinking they are hiding it from me

I know that we have all agreed to be open and honest (as in they don’t have to tell me when and where/what the did during their time) but to be open with the fact they can have sex if they want to




Just want to know I’m not crazy
 
Charmaine said:
Let's talk sex...
Click to expand...

Okay. Here is your previous thread for those who haven't seen it.

Charmaine said:
Over the past few days, I’ve been getting used to the new relationship dynamics of my home, with my best friend (Michelle) moving in and the three of us becoming a closed vee/hinge relationship.

Me and my husband (calling him Jack) have been together 8 years, married for 2. I’ve really been struggling with the idea of them having a sexual relationship.

Don’t know whether I’m wrong for thinking [what I have been], but in my head, if they had just got on and did the deed sooner rather than later, I would be hurt emotionally, but then could work through it, instead of sitting up waiting at night for something to happen, or constantly looking over my shoulder thinking they are hiding it from me.

I know that we have all agreed to be open and honest (as in they don’t have to tell me when and where, and what they did during their time) but to be open with the fact they can have sex if they want to. Just want to know I’m not crazy.
Click to expand...
So basically, we know from your last thread that Jack and Michelle (as we called them) were romantically/sexually interested in each other, but so far had only hugged and kissed. Michelle has been living with her mom, who is a close neighbor. She is moving in as your friend and Jack's possible romantic lover. You and she both have 2 years olds. You met in a parenting group.

So, you're waiting with bated breath for Jack and Michelle to have sex, to "seal the deal," so to speak. It would be easier, you think, if they would just get it over with already, but apparently they aren't ready.

Are you "crazy" for feeling what you're feeling, and wanting what you're wanting? No. Feelings are feelings. We all have them. They come and go, like the weather. They can cause you to feel like you're on a roller coaster in poly, up one day, euphoric, and down the next, want to die. This is normal. Eventually they will have sex (I guess). Maybe they'll start with making out and "outercourse," and not move to intercourse right away. That is their right. They are new to polyamory, and might be struggling with guilt.

There is nothing you can do but be patient, as far as I can see.
 
Hi Charmaine,

You're not crazy, it is hard to be caught in a limbo of wondering when it will happen, rather than, "Okay, it happened, now I can start to process the emotions around that." As it stands, you are sitting there with a sword of Damocles hanging over your head. It would be easier if you could just get it over with.

Sympathetically,
Kevin T.
 
It's a big jump from being monogamous to your partner having sex with another in the very same house/flat.
Have you been thinking how to make enough privacy, so that they can have intimacy and you don't have to listen or deal with people running from the bedroom to the shower etc.?
Did you think and talk about how your husband can help you if you do feel 'hurt emotionally' after the fact?
 
Magdlyn said:
Okay. Here is your previous thread for those who haven't seen it.


So basically, we know from your last thread that Jack and Michelle (as we called them) were romantically/sexually interested in each other, but so far had only hugged and kissed. Michelle has been living with her mom, who is a close neighbor. She is moving in as your friend and Jack's possible romantic lover. You and she both have 2 years olds. You met in a parenting group.

So, you're waiting with bated breath for Jack and Michelle to have sex, to "seal the deal," so to speak. It would be easier, you think, if they would just get it over with already, but apparently they aren't ready.

Are you "crazy" for feeling what you're feeling, and wanting what you're wanting? No. Feelings are feelings. We all have them. They come and go, like the weather. They can cause you to feel like you're on a roller coaster in poly, up one day, euphoric, and down the next, want to die. This is normal. Eventually they will have sex (I guess). Maybe they'll start with making out and "outercourse," and not move to intercourse right away. That is their right. They are new to polyamory, and might be struggling with guilt.

There is nothing you can do but be patient, as far as I can see.
Click to expand...
Thank you the last few days we all have been having more conversations about how each of us are feeling and it’s really help us all in this new and exciting dynamic :)


They had their first night in bed with each other, the morning came around and I felt okay about it
 
Tinwen said:
It's a big jump from being monogamous to your partner having sex with another in the very same house/flat.
Have you been thinking how to make enough privacy, so that they can have intimacy and you don't have to listen or deal with people running from the bedroom to the shower etc.?
Did you think and talk about how your husband can help you if you do feel 'hurt emotionally' after the fact?
Click to expand...
We have a 3 bedroom house an both mine and Michelle bedrooms back on to one another

We have had small conversations that im happy with but again until it happens tha will be another conversation :)
 
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