You couldn't do outercourse or kink things with your wife, just to get the good feelings, the orgasms, the bonding? I understand flagging erections during intercourse with condoms, especially in older men who aren't used to them. In my experience, younger guys are so well-trained about barriers, they use them automatically. I've even had a couple of guys who wanted to keep using them even when it was risk free to go without.
Magdlyn, when I said abstinence I only meant intercourse. My wife and I have toys and oral sex is on the table as well. Although, working from home with my girlfriend all day for almost a year now I tend to be sexed out by the time my wife comes home. So it is hard to find that balance. Balancing intimacy has actually become more challenging since moving in together, which surprised me as I thought it would simplify things...
Magdlyn, when I said abstinence I only meant intercourse. My wife and I have toys and oral sex is on the table as well. Although, working from home with my girlfriend all day for almost a year now I tend to be sexed out by the time my wife comes home. So it is hard to find that balance. Balancing intimacy has actually become more challenging since moving in together, which surprised me as I thought it would simplify things...
OK, saying that you are "abstinent" with your wife, when you are actually doing everything but PIV with her, is a very heterocentric statement. It confused me. Thanks for clearing that up.
(I'm pansexual, and currently, mostly thanks to Covid, I am only having sex with my gf. I'm not having sex with men at all. So the sex I am having is gay/lesbian sex. I just never thing of "sex" as "PIV only.")
If you want to have more (non-PIV) sex with your wife, but you use up your daily allotment of capability with your gf every day, it does sound like you need to have less sex with gf to keep something in reserve for the wife.
