With so many different variations of how people practice poly, there are going to be variations in terms of how people practice sexual health 'rules' or issues along the lines of fluid bonding.
In this discussion, I would really like to talk about the different ways people do things, why, and the pros and cons of each.
My polycule is a pretty kitchen-table V and we all live together.
For my polycule, fluid bonding with others is okay; provided they have had regular STI testing, and/or if them or their partner has gotten a new partner, they have gotten regular STI testing since. We understand not everything is preventable by testing, as some things don't always show up, but we all want to prevent as much as possible. If these tests have not been done, then it is absolutely barriers whether there is a PIV or oral/anal sex.
When B and Z didn't have vasectomies, condoms fluid bonding PIV would only happen if everyone in that relationship agreed what would happen if accidental pregnancy would happen. Now that's not a concern. For me, I now no longer use any birth control, so for PIV condoms are basically never not going to be used. I'm also not really looking for any more male partners, or really partners in general so I'm not fussed.
We understand this can limit sexual and even romantic choices; as well as preferences, but the health aspect matters more.
People are allowed to disregard this rule; but then my personal 'consequence' is no sex with ME without condoms until you've gotten a clear test. B and Z have also decided to use this as a consequence if I disregarded the rule. Waiting for the ability to get accurate results can be up to a 3 month wait for certain things. So, that's a very good deterrent!
What about people who are more spontaneous? We are not solo-poly, so does that affect your personal choices? How do others view fluid-bonding?
In this discussion, I would really like to talk about the different ways people do things, why, and the pros and cons of each.
My polycule is a pretty kitchen-table V and we all live together.
For my polycule, fluid bonding with others is okay; provided they have had regular STI testing, and/or if them or their partner has gotten a new partner, they have gotten regular STI testing since. We understand not everything is preventable by testing, as some things don't always show up, but we all want to prevent as much as possible. If these tests have not been done, then it is absolutely barriers whether there is a PIV or oral/anal sex.
When B and Z didn't have vasectomies, condoms fluid bonding PIV would only happen if everyone in that relationship agreed what would happen if accidental pregnancy would happen. Now that's not a concern. For me, I now no longer use any birth control, so for PIV condoms are basically never not going to be used. I'm also not really looking for any more male partners, or really partners in general so I'm not fussed.
We understand this can limit sexual and even romantic choices; as well as preferences, but the health aspect matters more.
People are allowed to disregard this rule; but then my personal 'consequence' is no sex with ME without condoms until you've gotten a clear test. B and Z have also decided to use this as a consequence if I disregarded the rule. Waiting for the ability to get accurate results can be up to a 3 month wait for certain things. So, that's a very good deterrent!
What about people who are more spontaneous? We are not solo-poly, so does that affect your personal choices? How do others view fluid-bonding?