Share your pros and cons of kitchen table poly relationship

B

badger

New member
Hi. I'm new to polyamory, and I'm here to learn and explore.

What advantages and setbacks have you experienced in a poly-relationship?
If you haven't had any experiences, you could write your perspective.

I'll share my perspective since I haven't been in a poly relationship.
I think there could be a lot of perks living with multiple partners, such as shared responsibilities, psychological and emotional support, economic benefits.
I anticipate some setbacks as well, such as mitigating and handling jealousy and managing time for "fairness" in quality time spent together.
Altogether, poly or mono, I believe a lot could be achieved with proper communication, as long as everyone is onboard.

Looking forward to hearing yours 😏
 
Hello phillip,

Kitchen table poly makes sense for my V as we all three live in the same house. We had some rough years in the beginning, but that has all gradually smoothed out and we don't seem to have any issues with jealousy or time management now. We do have a shared calendar which helps a lot.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
I'd love to be more kitchen table but I'm currently in two long distance relationships so until those distances close it's not going to happen. I can't see permanent cohabitation, but being able to hang out comfortably at one house or the other while someone else is home would be great. Saves money on forever getting a hotel.
 
Thanks for sharing.

kdt26417 said:
Hello phillip,

Kitchen table poly makes sense for my V as we all three live in the same house. We had some rough years in the beginning, but that has all gradually smoothed out and we don't seem to have any issues with jealousy or time management now. We do have a shared calendar which helps a lot.

Regards,
Kevin T.
Click to expand...
Would you be comfortable going over some details of the adversities you faced in the beginning years?
Also, what are some repeating patterns that you're facing today?
 
We used to have issues with jealousy, and with the equal expenditure of time. Also we had privacy issues, I wanted more privacy while Brother-Husband wanted to be more a part of my life. Over time, we worked all that out, and I don't think we have any repeating patterns today.
 
I've been living polyamorously for years (since 2009), but I've never lived simultaneously with more than one partner. My longest-term partner and I didn't start living together full time until we'd been "dating" for almost three years. We are both pretty independent. We love living together now because we made darn sure we'd be good roommates before getting a place together.

Neither of us wants to have one of our other partners living with us. As two women we need our privacy. I wouldn't feel comfortable living with her male partner, and vice versa.

We benefit as a duo from sharing financial responsibilities, but we don't need more help, financially or physically, from our guys than can be given without either of them formally sharing a house with both of us.

I can't imagine the four of us living together, lol. It makes me laugh just to think about it. For one thing, Pixi's bf Malachi is extremely introverted and my bf Aries is extremely extroverted. Their styles would not mesh at all. The tension would be high!

Luckily we all live within about 10 minutes of each other by car, so visits can be frequent and stress-free, pretty much.

Another thing against kitchen table poly, which I've discussed here before, is the tendency of any guy I'm dating to inevitably want to have sex with Pixi, just because she's my partner, and she's cute and nice. It's tiresome! So she has learned to keep her distance just because of this biological thing the men I date happen to have. Therefore, we keep our infrequent group experiences to the "garden-party poly" variety.
 
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