Smelling the flowers

65

I had my follow-up appointment for the MRI results this morning. Good news is that although my F5-F4 vertebra is worn down and is dehydrating from lack of fluid, it is not compromising my sciatica nerve. It appears that scar tissue from my surgery is causing the increase in symptoms. I have elected to have a steroid shot to see if it will relieve some of the pain. I go in April 17th and Bond has agreed to be my driver, as that's a requirement they set - to have a driver. They wrote me a script for a Valium, but I'm unsure if I will take it. I hate the feeling. However, I'm not sure how anxious I will be on the day of, so it's my backup plan.

In a painful move (he hates to spend money), Bond booked us for two nights at a waterpark for the weekend after next. It's the same one that my sister treated us to in December. We booked a 3 bedroom suite with 2 1/2 bathrooms. It's 1,300 square feet. It has 1 king-size bed, bunk beds (bottom bunk is a queen-size bed/top is a twin), a Murphy bed in the living room, and two queen-size beds and a sleeper sofa in the 3rd bedroom. Each of the bedrooms has a flat-screen TV. There is a full kitchen, so we'll be able to cook our meals rather than dine out.

It's going to be so much fun! It'll make for a sweet ending to the kids' Spring Break. :)

S1 doesn't want to go, but we're taking that decision away from him. He doesn't have that many more years of being a kid and having holidays with his siblings. Oh, BTW, it's his 16th birthday today.

B is unsure if she wants to join us. If she decides she does, there will be plenty of room for her and her two kids. We'll even have two extra waterpark passes for them.

I am waiting for a call from our insurance agent. Our policy is up and it's time to renew. With Twitch living in another state he'll have to go off of the policy. My daughter's car can also be taken off. I was a bit shocked to see that my youngest son only had his truck insured and has been driving without insurance on his car - which he drives the most. Damn kids!
 
I was elated to see that the numbers on the scale went down this morning. So far I've lost 3.5 lbs since Friday. I'd really like to have a strong first week, as that's usually the easiest point to have a large loss. After this first sprint, I suspect that I'll average 2 lbs/week. I'm so happy that I'm doing this. I feel great and it hasn't been hard. I'm excited that I'll be ready to wear my summer clothes by the time summer arrives.

Depending on how difficult the last pounds are to get off, I may move my goal lower before deciding to start maintenance. I'd really love to get back into the size 4 pants I have in the closet. When I was that size I still had room to loose more. I suspect that if I were to shed all the extra weight, that I'd be a size 0 in pants, maybe a 2. Last time I lost a lot of weight I was working out so much that I put on a lot of muscle. I don't think that I'll be able to do that this time due to my back issues, so I really have no idea what weight to aim for this time around. I am also older and that may affect things. Another unknown is how steroid shots may mess with my metabolism.

Tonight Bond and I are going to go look at a car for my daughter. I hope that it's good-enough and we can purchase it.
 
63

So Bond and B have started to have weekly lunch dates and I am not pleased. I already feel like my bond with B is tenuous and this makes me feel like their bond is going to grow and eclipse what I have with the two of them as a triad.
 
62

I'm heading up to my parents' tonight after work. I'm looking forward to seeing them and my daughter, and also not looking forward to it. My dad is so trying. My mother is so good at guilt. The woman should lead seminars on how to apply it. :D

Bea is going to spend the night, and maybe tomorrow night too, with Bond. They've never had this sort of time together before so I'm kind of excited for him/them. I'm also trying to not focus on it as I don't need to stir up emotions.

Here's something that B told Bond yesterday at lunch. She said that if she and the Therapist were to break up that she'd be fine, but that if the triad were to break up she'd be devastated. That's good for Bond and me to hear, because we tend to feel that one day she'll just pull the plug and say she's done. Not that things aren't going well, 'cause they are, but she's just so fickle on so many things. Feeling like that makes it hard to feel like you're safe being all-in.
 
58

Last night Golden asked me if I was monogamous. Seriously? I said no, that I had a girlfriend and a boyfriend. Evidently he thought I meant someone else besides Bond, because he was surprised and exclaimed, "You have a boyfriend?" That man is so whack. I guess it makes sense that he's going to be a college professor. He'll be the stereotypical absent minded professor.

He did a few other humdingers earlier that had Bond grinding his teeth....he was banging drawers against each other, because he had more than one open at a time in the same stack and the upper one is very, very heavy with all of our stoneware plates and bowls. He had both drawers fully extended and was opening them really fast and hard, making them hit the end of their glides really hard. It was alarming. When Bond explained why it was an issue Golden thought we should let everyone in the household know that. All I could think was that I'd never seen anyone else do what he had just done.

But then this morning when I came into the kitchen he had made me two eggs, because he knows I'm doing LCHF and I'm eating eggs for breakfast. That was really nice of him.

Bond and B's weekly lunch dates: I don't have time now to explain the path this has taken, but I'm no longer opposed. Getting to that place may have upset the apple cart, though.
 
37

We are counting down the days until Golden and his children move out. I think that one some rather small, minor level that I'll miss having them around, but overall it's going to be damn awesome not having them there.

My son found out that they are having a girl. I knew it. Baby momma thought it was a boy, which surprised me. I didn't want to bet against the house, because IMO momma is usually right, but I really, really, really thought it was a girl and it is. At least we'll assume she's cisgendered until she tells us otherwise. I'm pretty excited. My son is over the moon. I need to select a date for the baby shower sometime in late July or August.

I'm upping my game from LCHF to straight on ketogenic. I need to master it and reduce the number of calories I'm consuming, I think. I was already eating pretty clean, with most of my meals being home cooked. I need to lose 20 pounds. These two factors mean that my weight loss will be slower than someone who needs to lose 100 pounds and/or was eating a lot of processed foods. Overall I feel so much better. I think I've been losing inches rather than a lot of pounds (>7 since March 17th) and that's really the goal after all.

Yesterday I was scheduled to have a steroid shot for my nerve pain, but I forgot to stop taking ibuprofen three days prior, so they rescheduled me. Now I go in on May 4th. Rather aggravating.

I told Bond that at some point I want to get married. He was surprised, evidently he didn't recall that from the night we were with B and I said that I wanted to get married again someday and they both said that they didn't want to. I don't know that Bond feels strongly that way. He didn't seem to when I brought it up to him. We were talking about him staying married vs being divorced vs being legally separated, and how it affects his taxes. He did clarify that I meant married to him. :) We didn't focus on it greatly, but now it's out there and he's aware.
 
36

This morning I found out that Bond and Naya are planning on divorcing in the next year! Color me surprised! I don't know how I wasn't aware of this. I knew he had gone in to see about a legal separation, but I didn't know they had decided to act on it and to actually divorce. He said that is why they have done quit claim deeds on each others houses and why Naya wanted to drop some of her life insurance now that the kids are older. She'll still have plenty, but she figures the house is paid for and that the kids will get the money from its sale in the event of her death.

Once they are divorced he'll probably have to give her more money/month than he is currently between child support and alimony. Once they're divorced she'll need to buy health insurance and pay her own car and home insurance, so expenses like these are concerning her.

He sent me the income percentages that are set by the state this morning.
17% for one child, 25% for two children, 29% for three children. His sons are ages 16,13, and 10 (almost 11). Son #1 currently lives with us, and #2 will likely live with us starting in the fall when he starts high school. That will likely lower his child support, but with alimony I wonder if it even matters. I suspect he'll pay alimony until the youngest is 18. We haven't talked about it, but that's my guess. It's not like he's unwilling to support her from now until eternity. That's just his way.

All of this makes me wonder if my wish to be married will become a reality in the next couple of years. Feeling very surprised and a bit sheepish, because I brought it up without knowing he was actually making moves to get divorced. I shouldn't feel stupid about it, but I guess I'm a bit embarrassed for some reason. And happy. Maybe it's because it made me so happy when I heard it. :p
 
31

Weather here in south central Wisconsin was lovely this past weekend. I went to a friend's house (Franki) on Saturday and the two of us went hiking for a number of hours. We were both tired by the time we found her van again. Our legs were a bit sore and wonky when we climbed out of her van at her house.

She is just starting back on a keto diet after having done it a few years ago. She got her husband (Smatch) on board with it this time around, so hopefully it'll be easier. Plus, I directed her to a really good Facebook group and cookbook. Her husband, a trained chef, cooked us dinner and then I drove back home.

We live close to an hour from one another. The distance really limits our visits, especially in the winter due to road conditions and the fact that we're both pansy asses now that we're older. We both feel so good when we spend time together. I love her to pieces.

Sunday we met B at a park on the peninsula with the kids. I ended up going back to the car for my jacket, so I got a lot of steps in, and it was all rather uncomfortable, back and leg pain-wise. Before we met up with her, we checked out Costco as they had a guest day and we're trying to decide if a membership would be worth it to us. So more steps there.

I decided to quit taking gabapentin, because it's incredibly hard to orgasm when you are taking a nerve blocker. The nerve pain in my leg/ankle was feeling so much better that I wondered if part of the relief could be attributed to the keto diet, as it is noted for dropping inflammation. Hiking on Saturday and Sunday was harder than it's been and I'm waking a lot at night due to nerve pain. Weight loss is also hampered by gabapentin. :mad: I think I'll start back up with it after date night on Tuesday. Still debating.

I spent so much time outside this weekend, that I didn't accomplish a whole heck of a lot. While Bond ran the kids to his ex's, I spent some time creating a grocery list and a somewhat meal plan for the week. I'm such shit at planning ahead as to what meals I'm going to make on a certain day. Still I gave it a go and was able to start prepping a few things for the week. I had made a dozen egg sausage cheese muffins to be used for breakfasts, thinking we'd have them for the week. They were all gone by yesterday afternoon, so um, so much for that. I'm glad everyone likes them, but I didn't have enough ingredients on hand to make another batch last night.

Meal prepping was cut short because we decided to go with Golden and his gf's and a few others to see Logan at the cheap theatre. I probably should have stayed home and continued with prepping things, because it was only a so-so movie. I considered making a grocery run instead, but I'm flat broke until payday so I really need Bond to buy the next round of groceries.

We have all three boys tonight, and I'm unsure what to make for dinner. I will have to run to the grocery for a couple of ingredients for either of the two things that come to mind. There are days when I hate working so late.

I got bit three times around my hairline, twice on the back, once on my temple, while hiking with my friend. The one in front I discovered when pushing my wet, sweaty bangs out of my face and my fingers got into thick, sticky blood. Like crazy weird. The other two Bond discovered. They are so swollen and itchy and I'm having a hard time stopping myself from scratching. That's one of the things I dislike about Wisconsin is our bug population. I believe that these are spider bites, as our mosquitoes haven't hatched yet...although I expect them in a day or two, and because of the way my body reacted.

Oh, I have to share this with you. I'm not sure I totally understand this feeling, but it's still amazing.

Bond and I shower together every morning. It's a nice time for us to connect and talk. I love starting the day like that. As I was getting ready, Bond was talking and he said that his life used to be work and then kids and that was it. Work and kids. Which now makes him feel like he's on vacation all the time [these days].
 
Last night while I was prepping food, I took the time to prep for snello, which is snail food. For the past week I kept a storage container next to the compost bin under the prep sink for egg shells. I needed the egg shells to make a calcium powder, which will go into the Snello. I laid all of the shells out on a parchment covered baking sheet and baked/convectioned them at 225F for an hour. I was supposed to bake them for 2 hours @ 200F, but we needed to leave for the movie, so I shut the oven off and left them in there. When we got home I got out my blender and whirled them into fine particles. I used a sifter to separate the bigger pieces and was left with a pretty fine calcium powder. Tonight I will blend up kale and romaine with enough water to make a slurry, mix 4 packs of unflavored gelatin in 3 cups of boiling water, combine the gelatin water and lettuce pulp, add in my calcium powder and once it's cooled down, pour it into a gallon sized Ziplock bag. That will be laid flat in the refrigerator until set. Once it's set, I'll cut it into blocks and freeze it. I cannot wait to see how the snails like it!

We have had one clutch hatch and we have nearly see-through itty bitty snails scatter throughout our tank. Part of me doesn't want them to thrive, because of overpopulation reasons, but the bigger part of me wants to care for them and make sure they do well. I tell myself that Bond is the one who wanted the hatch out the clutches, so he won't be able to say no to more tanks if we find ourselves in need. We plan on selling some to the pet stores, but they don't want them until they are bigger. I'm also unsure how many they'll take. I'm going to be up to my eyeballs in snails!
 
29

Update on the snello; so far I haven't observed my snails eating it, but the fish love it! Hopefully on the weekend when I have more time to stand and observe I will see if the snails are eating it, too. This morning there all that was left was a small scattering of calcium chips where the snello had been the day before.

I took a quart bag of it to B's last night for her snails. It was frozen, but we dropped one in with her snails and one in her overcrowded fish tank. The fish devoured it, the snails stayed at the top of her huge tank and left it alone. I hope that they'll eat it when they're more awake.

OMG, Bond, the world's most correct driver got a ticket last night for failing to stop at a stop sign. He thinks he stopped, but very briefly, the cop says no. He has requested to see the video of it, so that will prove it either way. I find it amusing. I keep singing, "bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?, bad boys". :D I'm actually surprised the cop wrote him a ticket. Maybe Bond's mohawk pushed in that direction. It made me tempted to push Bond into wearing black eyeliner when we went out last night, because he looks like a British rock star when he does. OMG, I should have and then had him wear his leather jacket. Total badass in a pale version. LMAO
 
24

It's been gray and cold here for days. Last night it rained buckets and buckets. I wish I knew how much we got. I told Bond that we need to get a rain gauge, just like old people. And then we can go to the coffee shop in the morning and talk to other old people about the amount of precipitation we received. :)

Today is supposed to be 5 degrees warmer than yesterday and by the end of the week we're supposed to hit mid 60's. Pffft, that's not warm. However, in light of climate change, I guess it's good that it's not 75F.

B is struggling with how much care her mother is needing. Last night she was at the ER with her from 6:30 to midnight. It turned out to be something that 600 mg of ibuprofen fixed. She's frustrated and tired of having the burden of caring for her mother. She's had it since she was 20 years old. I sent her links to resources in our area for help on Thursday, but I don't think she's called any of them yet. I wish she would. She was super relieved and excited when I sent them, but she is also not the type to follow through.

Bond bought me crocs yesterday, and an algae eater fish. The crocs are "house" crocs that I will only wear in the house and not out and about. I am hopeful that they'll help my back. I spend so much of my time at home on my feet and usually barefoot. He also bought me a gel mat for by the prep island the weekend before last. It's nice. :) Oh, the crocs have flamingos on them. Kind of ugly, kind of adorbs. LOL

This morning I hatched out a small clutch of snails. I cannot even imagine how many fucking snails we're going to have. We had the fish store test a sample of water from our tank yesterday. Looks good so far. I learned that I can cut our tall plant off and then root that piece, so that's what I did when I got home. I also moved the octopus to the other side of the tank this weekend. The baby snails have swarmed it now. They've also found the snello.

Tomorrow night I'm going with Ginger to see Alton Brown. We bought tickets last summer before things totally went sideways between all of us. I hope it's fun. I'm mostly dreading the awkwardness of it all. Hopefully it won't live up to my dread.
 
23

My middle son's AC unit that is inside his trailer house almost caught fire yesterday. It was hot enough to singe the carpet. He woke up for work (he works 11 pm - 11 am) and could smell it. Earlier in the day he had posted a picture on Facebook of it frosted over, asking for advice on what to do to fix it. I'm not sure what he did, if anything, but by nightfall it was overheating. He called 911 and had fire fighters there with five trucks in about 10 minutes he said. He was very impressed with their quick response time, because it's a volunteer fire department. Thankfully he woke in time and he's okay.

I had lunch today with B, because I won't be going out with her and Bond tonight. She's really struggling with life right now. Her mother's dependency on her is really creating a strain. She sees a lot of the Therapist's lifestyle leading him down the same path as her mother and she's about to bolt from the relationship. She's also feeling like she is not making dopamine/serotonin. She says that she's going to give it two more weeks and if she still feels the same that she'll go into the doctor for antidepressants.

We're contemplating signing up for one of those painting nights. I'm not terribly keen on it. I'd rather do a pottery night instead. But, whatev's. I'm sure we'll have fun. If we do it, we'll invite a lot of friends and see if we can book the entire class.

This Friday I'd like to do Gallery Night. All over the city there are art installations happening. Sounds uplifting.

Tonight is Alton Brown with Ginger. :) Bond said that he heard from someone that it's supposed to be quite the show. Kind of makes me wish I'd have asked him and B if they wanted to go when we bought the tickets. But it's good to do some things separately.

I'm noticing changes in my weight and body related to eating keto. I need to get back to tracking macros, though, because I'm fairly certain that I'm over on carbs most days. I really wish Bond would consider eating beef and pork. Those meats have a much higher fat content and would make it easier.

I'm so tired of this gloomy weather.
 
20

Yesterday Golden mentioned that Beanie will only have one more full week living with us after this one. Kind of shocking to think of that. I will miss her - some. This weekend they are going to visit his GF in Milwaukee. I'm rather excited about that. It's so rare that they aren't in the house. S3 is going to miss her a lot.

I may have my grandson this weekend. I was texting with his stepmom and I have the green light for this weekend or the weekend of the 19th. He gets the deciding vote. I guess he was saying yesterday that he missed me. I sent her a text that started off with how much I missed him and she said, "funny thing...he was saying this last night." :) S3 will be happy to have him to play with.

The steroid injection went well. My right leg was not dependable afterwards for several hours. It was mostly fine unless I was lowering myself to sit or doing the opposite for getting up. Then it did its best impression of the snakey leg. What an odd thing to have happen and have no control over!

Bond went with me, because I needed to have a driver. He and B were scheduled to have a lunch date and they let me crash it. :) We had close to an hour between my appointment and lunch time, so I went to his office with him. He worked and I sat on the couch in his office and played on my phone.

Lunch was mainly centered on B saying how she was done with the Therapist and why. She had sent him a message the night before that in her mind was breaking up with him, but I thought was unclear. And today she said that he hadn't realized she had broken up with him. I was not surprised. He is now clear on the fact. She feels so much better.

I spent the rest of my day cooking, so yeah, the leg did okay. :) I made some fat bombs, Mocha Fluff, and a cheesecake. And just when I was going to go sit down for a while and give my leg and back a rest Golden and Beanie came home. Golden started prepping vegetables for dinner and then Bond , S2, and S3 arrived. (Naya is out of town so we get the boys Thursday evening through Monday morning.) So from there we went into full blown dinner preparations and my leg did okay, although it was a bit tired by then. I couldn't take ibuprofen for 24 hours following the injection, so it was a rather restless night of sleep. Fingers crossed that I will sleep well tonight and that the shot will work.
 
17

What a nice weekend! I had my grandson, he's 11. He is such a sweet kid. He has a big heart. He can be too much of an emotional softy with easily hurt feelings, but he seems to be outgrowing that. I worry about him being subjected to Bond's boys because they can be pretty self-centered and uncaring in how they treat him at times. Like I said, I think he's outgrowing that, because I didn't see any of that this weekend.

His girlfriend of three years (how is this possible?!) broke up with him on Thursday and he was nursing a broken heart. Coming to Grandma's helped to keep him busy and his mind off it. He and I ate at Uno's on the way home Friday night. It was really nice to have that one-on-one time before joining the hubbub at the house.

He was at the start of a cold when I picked him up, and that washed over him and had him a bit miserable over the weekend, but by Sunday afternoon he was already starting to feel it lift.

He brought up his mom, my daughter Megan, twice but other than that he didn't mention her. He really misses her and says he understands that he can't see her until she is well. This is what they've told him because of having evidence that she OD'd last September and was stopped with drug paraphernalia in the car in October. I'm so angry that she risked her relationship with him for a high.

When I sent a text to his stepmom Friday morning to see if it would be possible to have him for a weekend this month and that I missed him, she said it was great timing because the night before he was telling her that he missed me and wanted to see me. She thought it was due to his heartbreak and missing his mom. We offered him two choices of weekends and he picked the first one and asked if he could come for the whole weekend. Saturday night at bedtime he wanted to know when he was going back home and he wanted it to be at dinnertime so he could have the whole day. I checked in with his stepmom and dad and they were fine with it. His dad met me part way so I didn't have to do the whole drive which was really nice. And they were also open to him coming again the weekend of the 19th. He's very happy that he'll be back so soon. We went hiking yesterday on the trails behind the house and we spotted about 6-8 great spots for fort building. I hope we get good weather the next weekend he's here so he can build some.

Today is my middle child's (Josh) birthday. He's 30! How does this happen so quickly?
 
I had such a good time last night at Polycocktails. We haven't attended in some time. I was in a mood for it and I'm guessing that's because I've dropped some weight and I'm feeling better about myself. I talked to friends and new people. I didn't make it around to everyone, but I did manage to talk to quite a few people.

Bond and B went outside to smoke and I found them after a while. They were sitting side by side with their backs to the picnic table, so I straddled one leg of each of them, facing them and kissed them.

Bond was telling B about seeing me for the first time in person over in the corner of the back patio and all that history of how we first met. He was being really cute. I love our story. I love that I didn't fall into his plans right off the bat. That months went by between the time he messaged me on OKC and our paths crossing at Polycocktails. I love that one breath before he was going to ask me out I announced that I didn't think I was doing polyamory anymore. I love that I was so nervous and enamoured with him that I was too shy to kiss him until our third date. I told him that I love our story, and he said that he loves it, too. B said she loves it, too. The way that man looks at me just melts me.

I drank two drinks of gin and soda water, with Succra drops of sweetener and lordy I think I woke up with a hangover. Hard to imagine with just two drinks, but I've heard that alcohol hits you hard when you're doing keto. I woke up thirsty in the night with the headache. I waited a while, but couldn't go back to sleep so I went to the kitchen for a bottle of sparkling water and sat on the couch for 45 minutes reading Facebook. I slept fairly well after I returned to bed, but still had the headache, although diminished significantly.

Last night I decided that we are going to make an attempt at getting tickets to Burning Man for 2018. I think I have our friends, John and Lori, convinced to do it, too. I was very clear that the only way it would happen, though, was if we rented RVs. There is no way in hell I'm tent camping there again. I got next to nothing for sleep when I went before, and I don't function well on no sleep. The art cars went up and down our street all night long blaring music. They shut down about 30 minutes after sunrise and the temperatures in the tent started rising to unbearable right about the same time. Someone I had one single date with a number of years ago was showing me pictures of his trip to Burning Man and that got me going. B has to see it. She just has to. It will amaze her. She'll love it, and hate it in turns, but she needs to go.

Tonight is our triad date night. I don't know what we're going to do yet. Probably dinner out and then back to B's for sexy times.

Oooh, I didn't mention that B and the Therapist met yesterday to talk. He unfriended her yesterday morning on Facebook, so it was iffy if they were going to go through with having a face to face discussion. It turned out to be a really good, productive talk. He owned up to his shit and told her that he will work on these things and that he really wants to and doesn't want to lose her. She said that they can try old fashioned dating to begin with and that his actions need to match his words. There will be no staying overnight and he'll need to do things with her and the kids. She addressed his lack of physical activity or effort into getting fit and that it scares her that she'll end up a caregiver to him if he doesn't improve his health. She also told him that the triad is wonderful and has set the bar really high, so he has a lot to live up to. He says he's on board and really wants to do this. It was interesting to hear that he said he's never dated anyone like her and that it took him a long time to feel like a couple, which was the Friday we all met for Happy Hour...like just 10 days ago. I guess they figured out that he is used to being a dom, and she's no sub, she's dominate herself, so their relationship structure doesn't fit what he's grown accustomed to. It should be interesting to see if they can make it work. I'm kind of glad she's giving him a second chance. I think they'll both grow from it. I was so very proud of how emotionally healthy she is and strong. She was able to express herself and lay down some laws. That's big.
 
My mom called yesterday right before I was done with work. She wanted to tell me that my sister-in-law will be having hip replacement surgery. Surgery date has not yet been determined, but the decision has been made. I hope that it goes very well for her. She's been in extreme pain for a long time now. I wish she'd have done this sooner. She recently retired, so she may have been waiting until she wasn't working anymore.

The bigger news, that I'm wondering why she didn't lead with, is that my brother is having heart issues. His wife, my SIL I was talking about previously, talked him into having a physical and they detected a heart murmur. Which lead them to x-rays that revealed one side of his heart is enlarged. More tests have been scheduled and my mother is predicting he may need a stent. Of course, she has no idea what they'll find, but her armchair diagnosis is that a stent is required. LOL, she even said that she really has no idea, but she just feels that stents are the go-to fix.

She wanted to know if I've had my heart checked thoroughly, and she wasn't appeased when I said the doctor listened to my heart when I had my physical in January. She thinks that considering our family history that they should do more. I told her that they found my brother's murmur by listening to his heart and that's what lead them to investigate further. Still she's not happy. I really don't think my doctor is going to order expensive tests if there aren't any outward signs. I also don't want to dismiss her concerns. Arg.

It has left me thinking, though. My goodness, my brother is having heart problems. He's (almost) 7 years older than me and will be 59 in July. He seems too young to have this happening. My sister is five years older than me and she has a heart issue that was brought on my typhoid fever. I don't count her problem as heart disease related exactly because its cause is from a virus/infection. But to think that my heart could be diseased before I'm 60 is rather concerning and seems kind of impossible from where I stand now. My brother is a smoker, but he's really fit. All of this adds to my desire to get down to my goal weight and to increase cardio activities.
 
14 Days, 18 hours, and 36 minutes - the countdown continues

Last night Bond and I cooked a yummy keto dinner and I asked Golden's son if he wanted to eat with us, and Bond sent Golden a text telling him dinner was ready. Golden didn't end up eating with us, but he came up and sat at the table for a while. We helped him come up with iconic black men from pop culture. I'm not sure what he's planning, if it's a presentation or actual costumes, but we came up with a decent list. It was kind of fun.

This morning he emptied the dishwasher, chatted, and overall was much more pleasant to be around. I think his demeanor was a result of last night's dinner. He's been pretty absent these days and his efforts around the house have been pretty nonexistent. Two weeks to go and I think we'll all be happy when his move out day arrives.
 
12

Friday Golden opened up a conversation in a style he often uses. He said to Bond and me, "What are your thoughts on having a pizza and game night here on the 27th?"

My first question was about his moving date, because as far as we knew he was moving on the 26th, not the 27th. He said he had to change the date to the 27th.

He then added that he thought it would be easier to feed the people helping him at our house, and to have a game night, too.

I voiced that I thought it wasn't the best idea to have a game night on the day of his move. He told me not to worry about it, because that was his concern. Okay! So, first he asks for our thoughts and once they are voiced he shuts that down and makes me feel like I've crossed a line. Fuck that. Bond has brought this up ever since it happened. It definitely stuck in his craw.

At the time Bond said, "Um, yeah, well, we don't have anything going that weekend that I'm aware of."

I spoke up and said that I wasn't ready to commit to saying yes to the pizza/game night as it was Memorial Day weekend and we may want to plan something for the weekend.

Bond is flabbergasted that he would have everyone travel back to our place to feed them pizza. I am flabbergasted that he is going to have a fucking game night when he should be more concerned with getting things in place, like beds set up and made, and bathroom toiletries unboxed, and other settling in work done before nighttime. But mostly we are like, um, your stuff will be gone and you will no longer be living here at that point!

Meanwhile, he moved a couch he got from his ex-wife onto our back patio. His intention was to move it into the house, but for some unknown reason it's on the patio. It rained last night. Golden and his son went to see his GF for the night. Bond and I moved it so that it's mostly under the roof overhang, but it's too deep to be completely protected.

None of us can figure out why he moved the couch to our house instead of waiting two weeks to move it directly. After all, it's been at her house for the past 30 months. The only answer we've come up with is that he thinks it'll be easier to load everything from one place rather than two, although his ex-wife's house is only 3 miles away.

Yesterday he canceled Beatdown, even though he first said that he had nothing going on so he was going to hold it. Bond and I went to Trader Joe's because I wanted to buy B flowers and while we were out he sent us a text that said he wasn't feeling well and was going to lie down. He got up in the early afternoon and went for a walk with his GF and then pretty much disappeared into his room the rest of the afternoon.

Saturday night I sent out invitations for a last minute lazy cookout to a dozen of our friends.

We're cooking out and keeping it super simple. We'd like friends to hang with and talk smart.

We've got turkey burgers and turkey Italian sausages and spicy ones, too. And coleslaw. And gin. And vodka. Bring something to pass. Make it simple. Like deli-simple. Lazy-ass simple. 😊

Hell, we've even got a couch on the patio.

It'll be relaxed and not very impressive, just fun.​

I created the Facebook event when we were at B's Saturday evening. She was on a mission to get me high, so she kept shotgunning me. I had two drinks and was totally looped. I swear people are right that alcohol really hits you when you're doing keto, because the last two times it's really gotten me. And then on top of that B decides, "Our girlfriend hasn't been high in forever. She needs to get high."

Anyway, I created the event and included the bit about the couch on the patio. Golden declined the invitation which I put down to Beatdown - just taking a guess at that point. When we got home Golden was snippy about something and then he and his GF went to bed without saying goodnight. The next morning he was quite cold with his interactions and I was pretty sure it was related to the couch mention in the invitation. Bond thought I was nuts and reading too much into it.

Before people got there Golden came into the kitchen and I asked him how he was feeling. He said that he wasn't physically sick, but that he was having a hard emotional day. I asked if it was related to Mother's Day, and his mother (she died when he was 15), or because of being divorced. He said, yes and no, that he's just going through a lot of emotional stuff lately.

All I know is Saturday night and Sunday were really uncomfortable between us and Golden. I felt it more than Bond did, but that's typical, although once Bond returned from dropping off the two younger boys and we sat down to watch some television he remarked on how peaceful and quiet the house felt with Golden and child gone.

The cookout: Half of them couldn't make it, but we still had quite a few people when we included the kid count. It was a gorgeous day and we kept things really simple and relaxed. Bond told people that I'm going to make a big, long table for the patio and they all love the idea. I guess that means I have to follow through and get it made. Jules asked me if I had experience and I said no, but there are instructions and YouTube videos, so I'd use one (or a combination) of those. I made it sound easy, but I really have no clue. I guess I'll fake my way through it. :D She told everyone that when I decided to get a dog I then made it a project and started showing and breeding dogs, because that's what I do, make projects. I guess she's right. I have a niece who brings this up about me and that I am her example of get it done. I guess that's a nice thing to be known for.
 
11

OMG, ya'all, Bond and I made the most delicious dinner last night. I had roasted a chicken on Saturday and deboned it, so I wanted to make it into something, but I wasn't sure what. I decided on a bechamel with some spinach wilted into it. I did the mise en place and Bond stirred the sauce. We used our rock star steam oven to reheat the chicken. Damn, that's a sweet oven. A simple side salad of Romaine with half a dozen grape tomatoes, topped with homemade blue cheese dressing to add some lovely fats. That's my biggest struggle with eating ketogenic is getting enough fat when we typically eat lean meats. So, I'm learning different sauces and other ways to add in the fats. As a last minute addition I made Mocha Fluff, which is mascarpone and creme fraiche with baking cocoa, instant coffee granules, vanilla extract, and sweetener. I love that stuff. It's all so satisfying and leaves me full for hours.

Poor Bond, though. He has a sty in his left eye and it was so painful last night. It is quite a bit less painful this morning, so I'm guessing last night it was at its worst - at least I hope that's the case. Anyway, I was asking for his opinion on so many things last night while we were cooking and he just couldn't think. It took me a few minutes to realize that he was feeling poorly. In the end he stirred the sauce and I added the ingredients, because he just couldn't process. After dinner he thanked me several times for making such delicious things. He's so sweet.

Of all nights for me to be so indecisive. I think my indecisiveness was spurred on by Bond's lukewarm response to my dinner idea. If I'd have realized from the get-go that he was feeling so miserable I would have processed his responses differently and I wouldn't have second guessed everything. Plus, I just wasn't 100% clear on what I wanted to make, and I wasn't sure how the bechamel would be with chicken, or how it would be if I put spinach into it. I almost changed directions and made an alfredo sauce simply because that seemed more 'normal' to pair with chicken and spinach. But I'm fairly certain that's just because that is what I'm most familiar with, instead of what's acceptable. In the end it was absolutely delicious.

Tonight is my grandson's band concert. B and Bond are going with me, and we'll have to make tracks after work to get there in time. It'll be a late dinner for us tonight.
 
7 Days 23 Hrs

Yesterday was my birthday and it was a really good one. Facebook reports that 68 people wished me Happy Birthday. Others reached out in person, via phone, or text to tell me, too. It makes me realize how full my life is and how many of these people I'm really connected to. It's humbling, and also like a hug.

I'm never sure which route is the better one to take, respond to each individual birthday wish, or to do a group thank you the following day or the end of the day. I decided to go the individual response route and I hope none slipped by me.

Last night we went for dinner at a restaurant that has just opened in the past 10 days, in a brand new building, the AC Marriott. This is the restaurant's second location, so it appeared that they were functioning like a well oiled machine. Food is served tapas style, so with five us of we were able to try quite a variety of dishes. The scallops were the winner overall, but really everything was amazing. The building is pretty amazeballs, itself, and the restaurant is nicely done.

Partway through dinner B said that the guy at the table next to ours looked like someone famous, but she wasn't sure who exactly. I leaned over and peeked and said that I thought he looked like a photographer. That was all it took for her to place him, Niger Barker. But she wasn't 100% certain, so Michelle, who also watches Top Model (or whatever the name is) turned to confirm and all it took was a millisecond of watching her reaction to know that it was him. It was so funny. I wish we'd have caught it on video. So, yeah, we ate dinner right next to Nigel Barker last night.

I did some sleuthing today and he's associated with AC Marriott. He was with his wife and four other women.

This morning he posted two pictures of the sunrise showing the Capitol on his Instagram.

*********************
Report on the 5th grade band concert: OMG, so bad. Deliciously, atrociously bad. LOL

My grandson has been sick this week with the flu. He has been really worried that he won't be able to come this weekend. I told him to relax, that we'd wait until the end of the day to make a decision. He went to school today, so I believe it's game-on! :)

I bought a big aquarium and stand off the Facebook for sale board. We need to pick it up in the morning. I can't believe I got both for $50. Pretty excited about that.

Oh, lest I forget, Bond gave me an Alta Fitbit and B gave me a coffee grinder. The grinder will be great for making calcium powder for the snello. Plus it's regular functionality. ;)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top