Smelling the flowers

A party and a joint cooking effort

Saturday Bond, Golden, Golden's 9 year old daughter, and I went to a party thrown by poly friends. It was a family style social gathering. Bond and I went as a couple. This party has been on the calendar for a month or more and was a bone of contention with M when things went off the rails. This past week Bond wanted to invite her to it and asked me how I felt about it. I didn't want to do it. I just wanted a chance to enjoy having time with him in a social setting without tons of stress. We were about to have a rare night with none of his kids and it was the first time for me to go to a social gathering at these people's home. I didn't want to have to carefully tiptoe through metamour interactions with M. As it was Bea and ArtCarGuy were going and I figured that would be enough to contend with.

We had a very nice time. I really enjoyed watching Golden interacting with others, getting his flirt on. Why is it that I can embrace it when it comes to him, but feel quite differently when it's Bond? Why is it more threatening to me when it's him? I need to figure that out and get on the right side of it. For the most part I felt great about Bea and Bond interacting, but I admit there were times when I was like, "Okay, enough already." I think those moments happened when my brain started registering how much time he was spending with her versus the amount of time he was spending with me. Like I had a meter running that suddenly lit up yellow when I noted they were spending 90% of their time together and excluding others for the most part. But I was able to self-soothe by reminding myself that he and I are planning a joint life together. That he builds relationships that last for years and years. That he invests heavily, especially once he's emotionally all-in.

He did say something that unsettles me. He was feeling pretty loose (a.k.a drunk), but it's something we need to discuss. I know it's something that I've been feeling nervous, unsure about, and after hearing it come out of his lips it's obviously something he's concerned about, too. I can't remember the exact wording, but he said something along the lines of what to do with me (once I'm living there) when both he and Golden have other dates planned on the same night, basically scheduling conflicts. We have not totally settled the sleeping arrangements/bedroom sharing issue. Initially Bond when we talked about this Bond used the model that he and Naya used when they were married (technically they are still married, but living separately.) They always kept a guestroom which they'd share with their love interests when they were visiting. I said I'd prefer that over having my own bedroom. He seemed favorable to it.

Golden on the other hand, is pressing me to have my own bedroom. I think he's projecting his need for his own space onto me, so I've discounted it, but it may be something I need to entertain. If Bond is thinking that I should move out of his room every time he has M or Bea over, then I would agree with Golden that I need my own room. I think it would be incredibly inconvenient to have to grab my toiletries, pillows, and clothes the night before. Add in the the frequency of this happening and it becomes a certain set up to forget something and an awkward situation. I also worry that if we have scheduling conflicts that I'll find myself sleeping in one of the kid's rooms. I doubt I'd get a wink of sleep if that were to happen. I have sleep issues and that would probably guarantee a sleepless night.

I think there is another reason he wishes for me to have my own room, and that is because I feel he'd like my relationships with him and Bond to be more equal and if I'm sharing a bedroom with Bond he would feel like my relationship with him is less.

Bond and I need to talk this through.
 
More along the same lines

Last week Bond said that he'd like to consider me as being a default on his calendar - that if he doesn't have anything scheduled with M and I don't have other plans on mine, that we are "on".

Saturday on the way to the party he said that M was asking him whether or not he planned on continuing the calendar once I move in. That without it being on the calendar she has no way of knowing if she is intruding on our time or not, or if we have plans. He said he thought he'd continue to schedule things as he has been doing.

I'm not really sure if those two things conflict or not. I think it deserves more discussion. He's fairly easily persuaded, so it could be an about face. I can see her point, though. Parts of me would like to be able to drop the calendaring with him, because it seems to have created a nasty, jealousy monster. I think both M and I kind of loose our shit over the calendar.
 
The Joint Cooking Effort

Oops, I never mentioned the joint cooking effort.

Yesterday M and I cooked at Bond's house. I made two double batches of turkey and spinach meatballs, and butternut chicken soup, and M made a double batch of Southwestern Chicken Stew. Midway through the afternoon she and Bond went to Beatdown and I continued on.

It was nice to do it together and I really hope that we are building a bond. She thanked me for doing this with her and asked if she could give me a hug. That was nice.

She left almost straight away after Beatdown, which kind of surprised me. Her soup was still too hot to portion out into containers, so after it cooled I took care of that. I think it would have been nice to have had some time together that evening, but I'm trusting her to know when she needs to get away.

I need to somehow get Golden to understand that when we are cooking meals to freeze that it's not okay to use that food for the upcoming meal. He wanted to do it for lunch, and then again for dinner. I resisted two of his attempts towards that end, but finally by that night I surrendered my soup to the hungry hoard. End result, there was only enough left of the soup for three smallish containers. The satisfying side of this was that they loved the soup. :)

I sent M pictures of the food stash in the freezer. It's so satisfying to see all those containers lined up in the freezer. I wanted her to feel that satisfaction, too. Next time I'm doubling the butternut squash soup recipe. I really wanted 9 containers of that in the freezer, too. It's my favorite thing to take to work for lunch.

M and I made plans to do this twice a month on Beatdown Sundays. It sure heated the kitchen up. Doing it this often will mean there will be three or so Sundays before the season changes and temperatures drop. We did have a lucky happening in the afternoon that saved the rest of the house from becoming overly heated; Golden wanted to talk relationship/poly stuff without his son overhearing, so he pulled the pocket doors closed between the breakfast nook and living room, and kitchen and dining room. It wasn't until I stepped into the dining room that I realized the huge temperature difference. Nice save!

It was a long day of cooking and being on my feet. From the time we got back from the party (most everyone slept over - tents, spare bedrooms, couches, and floor space) I was in a rush. Bond had left his car plugged in at my house, so we had to go there first. I had to grab cooking stuff (stock pot, ingredients) and stop by the grocery store. I got to the house right at noon and M was already there preparing things for her soup. I quickly got my recipes underway. Zoom zoom. About an hour and half after they left for Beatdown I was able to take a break and take a walk with Golden in the sweltering heat. It was a hot and humid day. Not the nicest weather to be out in. It made me wonder how M and Bond were fairing at Beatdown. We spotted a small dresser someone had put on the curb, so we returned for it with my car. I'm not sure that was the wisest thing to do. I think we should have examined it better before making that decision. Oh, well. Golden could use more furniture and I don't think his standards are all that high. It'll be cute after a coat of paint, despite being incredibly light weight and cheaply made.

Bond's oldest son, Z, is a total introvert. He has been home schooled the past two years, because he was so far advanced for his age group. This fall he's going to an alternative high school and that makes me happy. The kid does not have real life friends. He spends all of his waking hours on his computer playing video games. The hours he keeps are typical for teenagers - you know, bedtime is 3 am-ish. Did I mention his computer is directly below the master bedroom? And he talks/screams into a headset?

The reason I explained all of this is that Z likes to watch TV with his father usually around 10:30 at night, sometimes later. This usually means we do not go to bed until 11:30 or so. Last night was no exception. I decided that I'd finish the last of my Audible book, The Martian, while they watched Defiance. I think I slept through most of the last chapter. After hours of listening to a book I end up sleeping through the culmination. Well, I did hear the last 5 minutes. Is that worse?

Bond said I was lightly snoring. Lovely. All of the sexy is gone. :eek:
 
To B or not to B

Last night was the second Monday of the month, which means Polycocktails meetup night. This is held at a bar just a couple of blocks away from my house. Terribly convenient. :) B and her hubby, WickedProfessor, help organize it. The bar is closed on Mondays, but they are tight with the owner, so once a month they open for our group. It's nice because there is a sign on the door saying it's a Private Party. People seem more relaxed when they know they aren't going to cross paths with their neighbor or coworker, unless they are there for the same reason.

Golden has taken to sending me calendar invites for Polycocktails. I'm not too thrilled with this, but I finally accepted his invite. This is the second one in a row that he's done this.

I figured M would attend; she was off of work and the last time she had the night off on a Polycocktails night she went. Last weekend Bond said he was going because I was. I said I figured he'd be going with M, he shrugged and said she might be going, but he wasn't sure because they hadn't talked about it. Whatever. I expected her to attend. I thought it would be good for her and it would have really surprised me if she didn't. Sunday she mentioned that she was going.

Because it's so close to my house I told Golden that I'd meet him there. He had dinner to cook and was going to be late. Why sit around and wait when I could be there socializing with my friends?

M was there when I arrived. We exchanged pleasantries when I arrived, but I quickly got swept up into conversation with others as I moved towards the bar to order a drink. The guys carpooled and arrived 20 or so minutes later. The few occasions that my eyes fell on M she was engaged in conversation with others, which was nice to see.

My night was fun. B was B. She's a bad ass, hot chick. Right now she has her hair really short and spiked up a bit. It's dyed silver. She has a new tattoo on her right bicep that is still healing. She has two tats on her left arm, one is script, the other is a skull candy skull. On her right forearm she has another script. She's around 5'9" and fit, but not willowy thin. She has a lip ring. She's 38. I have yet to meet a person who doesn't think B is 1.) hot and 2.) intimidating. She's a combination of being very welcoming, but also limiting as to who she lets into her inner social circle. She has no time for those she gets negative energy from or people who are superficial. For some reason she loves me.

Her hubby and I dated 3.5 years ago very briefly. WickedProfessor likes to tell me and everyone in listening distance that I am his highest OKC match and it's no wonder that B loves me, because I'm the female version of him. Let me assure you, I am not the female version of WP. LOL. And it's not uncommon for me to be a guy's highest OKC match. When my profile was active I got messages all the time from guys telling me I was their highest match - anywhere. So, while I may be their exception, they are my norm. What can I say? I answered the questions sex positively and I answered a ton of questions all across the board. It seems a lot of guys tend to pick and choose the questions they bother to answer, with the majority being sex related. Well, then, yep, I'm your girl. I'm not saying that's what WP did, but often that's the case.

Tangent: I may or may not have mentioned that Bond and I are incredibly high OKC matches. Why I consider my match with Bond to be the best I've ever encountered is because Bond answered a shit ton of questions (geek who groks out on data) and I answered an even larger shit ton of questions (another geek who groks data.) Plus, we both added comments to a large percentage of the questions we answered. After reading through each other's answers it becomes apparent that we share a brain.

Back to my night and B. :) B was on a roll last night. At some point in the night she kissed me with tongue. That was a first. I believe that was a shotgun that morphed into kissing. Mmmm. Before the guys arrived she said she was tempted to flirt with Bond to see what M would do. I told her that she better be prepared for how Bond might react. He already likes her. She may find herself with a man hot on her trail, so think about it before acting on it. Later she told me that she thought she should date Bond and me, that we'd make a fantastic triad. And she'd get that bitch gone. I pointed out that Bond makes lasting relationships and he may just add her and not drop M. She retorted by saying the rest of us are so subby and she's an alpha, so she'd make short work of that. I think it was after that that she said she loves the two of us as she gestured across her chest to first one side and then the other.

I should point out that these things were spread out over the course of the evening and not all in one concentrated conversation. I spent a lot of time talking to new people and making them welcome and chatting with friends, too. You know, acting all normal and shit and not having explicit interactions with one of my besties.

At different points in the evening we were outside on the back patio sitting on metal patio chairs. During one of these times B was sitting to my right. She started running her fingers up and down my thigh and commenting on how soft my skin is. I'm naturally hairless on my body and limbs, so yeah, I'm silky smooth. The first time or two, or dozen or so, times that people touch me they are entranced by this.

Hmm, what else did B throw out there last night...oh! I can't believe I didn't lead with this! When she was saying we'd make a great triad that we should have a threesome. Whew! She was full of ideas last night!

Ah, one more. This one cracked me up. She said that when we have a party to celebrate me moving into Bond's that she's going to get dropped off and either take a taxi home or sleep on the floor. That she's a good floor sleeper.

Okay, guess we're expected to throw a party. LOL

Lots of things to think about. There are two girls I'd date, and B is one of the two, and Franki is the other. But there are risks. I value her friendship so much. I'd hate to loose that if things went south. And B is hard. She's hormonal. She fierce. She loves me because I'm steady. Can I be steady enough to handle all of that?
 
So blue!

Last night we dyed Bond's Mohawk dark blue. I've never dyed anyone's hair before, so it was a learning experience. B had sent us home with a bag full of hair dye a few weeks ago. Bond has dyed his hair before, so he was all gung ho. I love it. It's very bright, deep blue. He thinks he wants to dye the rest blue now, too. I'm not so sure, but if that's what he wants, that's what we'll do. Or maybe he'll have M do it tomorrow night. :)
 
I sent this message to M: "Hi. Bond mentioned that you were worried about texting him after I move in. I know you've had big concerns about texting when he's with someone else because you don't want to interfere on their time. I appreciate your sensitivity on this and that you are trying to be very respectful, but I just wanted to assure you that it's okay with me if you text him during those times he's with me. He can decide when to respond back, so don't hold back when you need/want to reach him. I don't want you to feel that he's going to be off limits. That would be a really sucky feeling."

M's response: "Thank you for the message. I've started wondering if this would be easier or harder if I was also moving in. I think we'll figure everything out though."

I was at Concert on the Square with my roommate when I read M's reply. My heart about stopped when I read that. If there is one thing I am not interested in, it is living with M. I sent a text to Bond asking if he and M were entertaining thoughts of her moving in also.

His response: "No. I mentioned it back during the big talk. That's when she said she likes the idea but can't do it. Which surprised me."

I replied, "Okay. I'll explain later. Something she messaged me."

His reply: "Oh. She said something about that last night and said she'd explain later."

Once I was back home I forwarded the exchange with M onto Bond.

Bond's response: "I wonder if she means if she were to move in, she'd feel allowed to communicate."

That angle hadn't occurred to me. I thought she was referring to life in general, but Bond thinks she may have been referring to actual communication-related freedom.

Now I am questioning if I want to query M to learn what she meant by "this" when she said, "I've started wondering if this would be easier or harder if I was also moving in." Do I want to know? Will it stir things up? Or is this exactly the kind of discussions I should delve into if I'm truly open to communicating with M?
 
I sent Bond a text asking him if he could tell me more about this:

"No. I mentioned it back during the big talk..."

I want to know what he mentioned. Did he suggest she move in?
 
Bond's response: "Discussing poly household. All living together."

Me: "In general, as in that's a format that you prefer/want or were you asking her to consider it?"

Bond: "In general. I would like that."

Me: "Okay :) I was curious."

Bond: "Ok. I remember you saying a definitive No when we talked about it a while back. Right?"

Me: "Yes. At this time with our history of how interactions have gone with M in regards to sharing space and other issues, I would not consider living with her. If with time we see a different pattern, I'd be willing to reconsider."

Bond: "Fair."

Me: "Thanks."
 
And so I moved onto opening up the dialog with M again.

Me:

Now that I've had time to think about this I have a question - I was at Concert on the Square with my roommate, so I couldn't focus at the time. Were you referring to communication when you said, "I've started wondering if this would be easier or harder if I was also moving in", or did you mean something else? Did you mean that you wonder if you'd feel more free to communicate if you were also living there?​

M:
Knee jerk answer: yes, I think things including communication would be easy if I were there. More face to face opportunities. And it's really hard to not feel like a fourth wheel (lol) not being there all the time. But I should think about it more.....​

Me:
I think that's understandable. I'd probably feel the same way. You're an integral part of the group and you should feel free to contact any of us, especially Bond, whenever you wish. I have had the thought that once I'm living there you should worry less about when you contact him than you do now.​

M:
I was thinking similar, but old habits die hard. :)​

Me:
Yep, I've got some of those old habits too. Recognizing them and getting my brain to react or think differently can be challenging. Seems I get one under control and another pops up. I guess that's what keeps life fresh and challenging.​

M:
That is an incredibly positive spin on it. I like it!​

Overall, a good exchange.
 
Tonight Golden and I are going to be bday party that B is throwing for her husband's gf. We are to be on their dock at 6:30, WickedProfessor and Ry are supposed to get there at 7:00 pm. And it's raining. B just texted me to say thank goodness for their canopy. I'm assuming she has an easy up that she's putting up on the dock.

Golden is spending the night. He has a kid-free night and that's exciting. Tomorrow morning I'm taking a couple of hours of personal time, so we are going to either go biking or take a walk in the arboretum. It sounds like a great way to start the day.
 
An evening on the water

Tonight I'm joining B and WP on their boat. I think we'll eat dinner at a restaurant that has a pier so we can dock the boat. It's sweltering hot today, very humid and in the 90's. Yesterday it was 67 when I left work. I wore jeans with boots for footwear for warmth to the bday party. Crazy how it can change up so quickly. It's going to feel fabulous on the water. Days like today were made for being on the water.

This evening is Bond's family company picnic. He is taking M. I feel a bit envious, but in August he's taking me to the company's 25th anniversary party and it's black tie. I think I'm getting the higher value treat. (dog training lingo)

Overall, I'm feeling very good about everything. I'm feeling solid and secure in both relationships. Golden and I stayed up incredibly late last night talking. (I took some personal time this morning, so I didn't have to be to work until 10:15 am.) We're learning one another. Learning how to communicate with the other and hear each other. I don't always track Golden's thoughts that well. He takes a long time to articulate his thoughts and by the time he's done it's not unusual for me to have gone from thinking I know what he's trying to express to being confused, because something he will have said will contradict his original posit. But it seems to be getting easier and I'm not shy about asking for clarification, so eventually I comprehend the point he is trying to get across.
 
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Follow-up on where oh where am I going to sleep, or Goldilocks and the Three Bears

The night we dyed Bond's hair blue we talked about bedrooms, guest bedrooms specifically, and what to do with me.

We are going to set up a guest bedroom and follow the model that Bond and Naya used; the person with the overnight guest will use the guest bedroom.

M told him that she doesn't want to displace me out of my bedroom, so once I move in she'd prefer to use the guest bedroom. This goes well with what we were thinking.

I'm relieved by this. It's the simplest arrangement for an ongoing situation. No having to come back in for something I forgot to grab. Eeek! No need to have doubles of everything from toiletries to blow dryers to favorite pillows. Easy peasy. <cough />
 
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Wedding Bells and a weekend away

Golden attended an out-of-town wedding and reception with me this past weekend. The reception was an hour's drive from the wedding, which necessitated an overnight stay. For the life of me I cannot come up with a reasonable explanation why they'd hold the wedding at a rather nondescript church in one rather large city and the reception in another rather large city at a typical wedding venue. Nothing was so remarkable or unique with either that it was worth the hour's drive between them, in my opinion. Regardless, that was their choice and so we drove and then we drove again.

The bride is someone I haven't seen or talked to in a decade. Yes, a decade. Because of the distance friends had suggested that I skip the wedding and just attend the reception, but I had a feeling that doing so would not fly under the radar and I was right. It was a very small wedding comprised mainly of relatives. Normally I wouldn't have attended the wedding of someone I hadn't seen or spoken to in a decade, but she went to a lot of trouble to track down my number and when we were talking she said something that made me think she really needed me to be her friend on this day. She said, "I told Carl, that when I get my girlfriend on the phone, we are going to talk and talk." And that sparked a memory from about 7 years ago. I heard back from my mother that this friend had told a classmate of mine, whose mother-in-law was a classmate and friend of my mother's, that I was her best friend. If you're doing the math, I hadn't seen her or spoken to her in probably 3 years when she said this. To tell you the truth, I hadn't considered us to be best friends at any point in our history. But she considered me her best friend.

How I became her best friend: twenty-some years ago we worked together at an onion ring factory. We were hired at the same time, in a large initiative by the company. For the three years I worked there we were always referred to as "the new people." This was a very unpleasant place to work partly because of the fumes, and partly because the employees, mostly women (men would rarely make it through a night there), were prison bitch mean. I adopted a conviction that at some point in their day everyone needs someone to be nice to them. And so, I became that person for those who worked there that were ostracized. The result was the most hodgepodge break room table of misfits you've ever encountered. There were times when I thought I'd lose my mind from being surrounded by people with varying degrees of social skill deficits, but mostly I was blessed because they were funny and sweet and real. Andrea was one of these people.

When Andrea and her fiance were house hunting I told her about the hobby farm my family used to own and they bought it. When Andrea was considering having a baby I was her sounding board. (Her daughter just graduated nursing school.)

And so, many years later I was a best friend, or good friend, not sure how she'd frame it now, when she needed to have a friend. I was really glad that I went. It felt good to be there. I was so grateful that Golden was there with me. He was charming and good-natured. I couldn't have done it without someone by my side. I may be an extrovert, but I'm a shy extrovert.

Driving home yesterday I felt doubly blessed by being asked to be part of her day and by having a wonderful partner that would help me through my own social awkwardness.
 
A leopard and her spots

Another episode with M played out this weekend. It didn't involve me, which was nice.

Golden created a Facebook group for the Beatdown group last week. I'm not sure which day, because 1.) I'm not part of the group and 2.) I'm rarely on Fetlife where I may or may not have seen his or Titania's posts.

Saturday night he became upset because M deleted his post on Fetlife announcing the new Facebook group. She deleted it, posted that she had removed it, and then notified him that she had done so.

Her stance was that requiring people to be vetted as part of the process of joining the group was exclusionary and that it conflicted with the spirit Beatdown was founded under.

Golden's stance was that unlike Fetlife, people use their real names on Facebook and that their personal information, such as home address and such is often available through their profiles, therefore, a vetting process should be part of gaining access.

I found it ironic that after her accusations that the three of us are lousy communicators and that she is the only one of us that communicates, that she failed to communicate with Golden when she had an issue. I was not at all surprised that she made a public posting about it, because she has a history of doing that.

What neither Golden or I knew until Sunday evening was that she and Bond had a fight about it. She got so upset that she left in the middle of the night again - and she woke her 9 year old daughter to do so.

This was the first time she has brought her to Bond's. The kids had so much fun. Friday was his company picnic so it was a really good opportunity to get the them together. Plus, Bond watched Golden's 9 year old daughter while we were away for the wedding. That made three 9 year-old kids and they had a ball.

I find it upsetting that she woke her up in the middle of the night and took her home because she was upset. That smacks of unstable parenting to me, but maybe it's not that big of a deal. Bond said it was upsetting to him, too, but then he thought, maybe M's kids are used to it. I find that even more sad.

This time Bond tried about four or more times to get her to stay and not leave, especially when he saw she was about to wake her daughter.

I listened to the guys discuss the matter as I cooked dinner. I tried not to grin. I've been waiting for the real M to appear again. Sweet and chill M is an impostor.

Seems she riled Dale, her ex-fiance, poly partner, mental abuser up to pull in an ally. She had been complaining before the fight that he was off his meds, using alcohol, and being a baby.

Their was a big debate at Beatdown yesterday afternoon I guess. M and Dale's arguments conflicted and didn't hold water. I'm not sure what the consensus ended up being, Facebook group or no group, vetting or not.

M states that the group doesn't have a hierarchy and that everyone has a say, but then shuts down people taking initiative, telling them that they don't have a grasp of the history of the group, therefore, they do not get a say. That it's totally inclusionary. I guess that is unless you're me. I think I'll be going to be Beatdown soon. :)

After dinner as I sat with him at the table as he finished eating, Bond said, "Thank you for not being crazy."
 
We bought a fan

We bought a fan last night. This is the first time we've shopped for something for us, as a couple. Something for us, for "our" bedroom.

As we drove to the store Bond asked me if I am getting excited about moving in. I think this is getting more real for all of us.

I am excited, but also worried about how M will handle it.

He says that M has said that she is apprehensive, but dealing with it. He thought she sounded like she was coping and being healthy about it. :)

His apprehension he said would be if I wanted to change get rid of all of his stuff and replace it with mine. But he said he then tells himself that I won't ask to do that, because that would be crazy, and I'm not crazy.

Note to self: don't replace all of Bond's stuff with my stuff.

Zoiks!

He has this awful wood mirror that is in the shape of Texas. :eek:
 
Well, one mirror is not ALL his stuff. Maybe you can kind of ease it from place to place until eventually it is out of sight. ; )
 
Leetah said:
Well, one mirror is not ALL his stuff. Maybe you can kind of ease it from place to place until eventually it is out of sight. ; )
Click to expand...

LOL, so true, one mirror is not all of his stuff.

My friend, Michelle, and I had a Girls' Night last night. We went to the movies at a new theater near where we used to live when we were roommates. Love the new theater. It has recliners - all the seats are recliners. The theater we were in is called the Bistro and you can order food and have it brought directly to you as you watch the movie. Brilliant.

We talked fast and furious driving there and back. She's been on vacation and I've been busy with men, so there haven't been many opportunities in recent weeks to catch each other up to speed on life events.

I told her about what Bond said about me getting rid of all of his stuff. We laughed and she said, "Well, you won't do that!"

And that's when I had to explain how easily I could end up replacing his stuff with mine.

Golden moved a big, round, antique, pedestal, wood table into the house and it hasn't been 'placed' yet. It's residing in the "mirror room" as the guys call it. The mirror room is the front sitting room that they haven't really been using. It holds one chair that goes to the living room set of furniture that Naya took with her when she moved out, and one big rectangular glass and wrought iron coffee table, and one of those wonky floor lamps that Medusa all out with lamps and shades. Oh, and an area rug. The wall opposite the windows is mirrored with built-in glass shelves, thus the name. Presently the table is sharing the area rug with the coffee table in the center of the room. It was brought in, set down and never moved again. There has been talk of moving it to either the sun room or the breakfast nook.

The sun room holds a host of toys that need organizing and could be moved to other spaces, a weight bench, weights, and several boxes of miscellaneous items, some of which I believe are music CDs and movies.

The breakfast nook has a table referred to as the art table. Prior to Golden's table moving in there weren't any chairs around this table with the exception of one white resin lawn chair situated at one end of the table facing away from the table, which was handy for sitting to remove or put on shoes. The table has mainly functioned as a surface for folding clothes. It is mostly kept bare of items which is rather nice. Since the table move, the day we moved Golden's table in, it now has four wooden chairs around it, which seems to impede its usefulness as a folding station. Bond has offered to remove the art table so that Golden's table could go here.

Golden is really attached to his table. It's played a central role in family celebrations for years. His aunts, uncles, and cousins have all gathered at his home for the holidays, because he was the only one with the space and a table to seat them all. I overheard his cousin ask him what they were going to do now that he wasn't living in his house and he said that he could still host where he's living now - that there was even more room than at his house.

Let's take stock of dining room tables.

There is the one that is in the dining room, which is modern, but has a number of blemishes from children and various incidents with implements and art supplies, and well, life. It has a leaf that it can store below the table top, which is very handy, and six chairs. Because there are so many of us the table is always expanded these days and one of Golden's chairs has been added so that it seats our typical number of seven. It's a bit awkward, but it's possible to seat that many around it.

There is Golden's round table that could go into the sun room or replace the one in the breakfast nook. If we put Golden's in the sun room, and kept the one in the breakfast nook, that would be three full-sized dining room tables, two of which expand for more seating.

And then there is my dining room table.

My table is from Pottery Barn, and it's black. It isn't new and it too has blemishes, mostly scrapes and scratches that are fairly minor. It's a solid table that is well made. It could be refinished someday if one wanted to erase its scars. It has six chairs which fit around it easily without the table expanded. With the leaf in, the table could easily fit eight chairs. It's also wide, wider than Bond's table, but I'm not sure how much wider. That could be a plus, and a minus in its favor. If the table impedes traffic flow in the room that would be a minus. Bond has two pieces of furniture in the room, a buffet and a dining room server, one on each side of the room, parallel to the table. Currently one can easily walk pass the table. I'm not sure if loosing a couple of inches would be noticeable or not. Another concern is that the style of the table may not meet with Bond's aesthetics. He likes modern design and this is more solid, American farmhouse style. Also, I'd need to buy two more chairs to bring the number up to eight, and they run $200 or so a piece.

At the time Golden's table was moved into the house and placement was being discussed, I reminded Bond that I too had a table we'd need to consider, in addition to living room furniture. We've revisited this discussion a number of times over the weeks.

From time to time the guys and M have promoted turning the mirror room into a bedroom. I hate this idea. They want to hang a curtain in the doorway. Ugh. It's not a bedroom, the doorway is wide, and it's right by the front door. And I have living room furniture I thought might be placed in this room.

Things that Bond has said about what to do with my stuff include moving his living room furniture downstairs and using mine. That one surprised me. He said that it had been downstairs until Naya moved out. He has told me that we could use my dining room table instead of his as long as I don't plan on leaving him. I replied that I do not plan on leaving him, to which he replied something along the lines of then we don't have a problem. I kind of like the idea of using my living room furniture instead. His couches smell slightly of cat piss. My couch and love seat are dark brown Natuzzi leather. They aren't new, but they are in decent condition. They survived teens and dogs, so I think they can handle five kids. Also, I wouldn't have to wonder if our friends smell the cat scent or if they are having allergic reactions.

There is also the matter of what to do with my TV. It's big. It sits on a very nice, modern, stylish TV console. Bond has said it can go in the master bedroom. I'm not sure how that is possible. He'd have to move his dresser and desk to fit it and I'm not sure where they'd go. I have considered putting it in the mirror room, but the noise from two large TVs in fairly close proximity would be an issue. If we set up a family room in the basement it could go down there. If we put it in the master bedroom we could move the TV that is in there to the sun room, which may be nice if that's where my treadmill ends up. We could put it up high.

So...getting rid of all of his stuff and replacing it with mine...

CRAZY TALK!

<gulp>
 
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Shortly after posting the above post, I tried to think outside the box in regards to the mirror room. I envisioned different types of furniture that we could use in the room that could be used for both a living room and a sleeping space. Bond has considered having his kids sleep in there to free up a bedroom, so maybe different furniture would do the trick, like a sofa sleeper or a daybed, or I don't know...something clever and unconventional.

Then my mind lit upon putting in a sliding door in the doorway, like a barn door style, but more modern. It would be especially nice if we could find a modern design that would be aesthetically pleasing to our taste.

I like this solution much better than hanging a curtain. It would blend with the design of the house. Having an actual door would offer privacy, and light and sound blocking. It would transform the space into a modern, sexy, adult bedroom, whereas a curtain would, in my opinion, leave a person feeling exposed. It is also more economical than building a bedroom in the basement.

The doorway could remain wide, so that if the day comes when the room is not needed as a bedroom it would still flow into the layout of the house as a front room. Having a sliding door would still be practical as it would continue to offer sound blocking and separation of space.

I sent Bond an email with a picture of a sliding door like I was envisioning. He replied, "Yep. That is the plan. :) Curtain was just for quickly putting up before party. :)"

I asked if an actual door has been the plan, and he replied, "Yes. Sliding pocket. But I like your exterior sliding style more!"

Sometimes I cannot believe how I must not listen when it's something I'm resistant to. Ugh. I need to work on this. It's not a pleasant quality. :eek:

By the time I saw him the next night he and M had been to Home Depot to look at doors and he had done an online search for doors. The doorway is 55" wide, which rules out standard doors. Also, because of the architectural lines of the entry, the door and track will need to be on the inside of the mirror room. Bond found a place with a door that would work, but the price is rather steep at $1,240, including the track.

We started looking at DIY versions. We can get two 28" solid core interior door slabs for $112 each, the sliding hardware kit for $130, brushed stainless steel push/pull door handles for $87, and to add a modern look to it we can get aluminum flat bars @ $22 each, which could cover the joint between the two doors. I think it's possible to do it all for approximately $500.

That's going to be one large bedroom. Too bad it doesn't have an adjoining bathroom.

Oh! I just had a thought. The room doesn't have a closet. As a guestroom, it doesn't really have to have one, however, Bond has a large armoire on the stairway landing. It reminds me of the one in Narnia. It's not as fancy, but it is really something. I bet he'd be okay with relocating it into the guestroom. Squee!
 
Tonight I am picking up my grandson and he's spending the night at Bond's with me. His youngest son and my grandson are the same age. We've gotten them together once before and they've been asking when they can do it again. It should be a fun night. :)

Golden and Titania are going to a B & B tonight. I hope they have a great time and that they connect. It seems that's kind of been missing for them lately. Bond and I are watching his daughter, Xena.

Tomorrow morning I have to meet my new tenants at my house (that I own with Twitch) for their walk-through and handing over the keys. After that I'll be busy, busy getting ready for the party that night.

I offered suggested to Bond several times that maybe he should come with M so that she is more comfortable, but he seems resistant to the idea. Last night he told Golden that he plans on coming over after he puts the kids to bed and wants to be home before they get up in the morning. Golden volunteered to be the adult that comes back to the house. After some discussion, I think he's changed his plan to have his oldest son, Z, (age 14) oversee the youngest (age 9) getting to bed.

I get the feeling that he plans on letting loose and having a good time - as he's done at the previous parties I've had. I get the impression he does not want to babysit M at the party. When it comes to M, I have an amazing ability to put her out of my mind at social events. That being said, this will be the first time she's been to my house and it may be different seeing as I am the hostess. I hope B is nice to her.

B has been sicker than a dog this week and is finally feeling better today. She plans on only smoking and not drinking. Um, that means she'll probably get my boyfriend(s) totally fucked up. Sigh. Oh, well. They'll have fun.
 
Hey, Petunia,
Regarding DIY'ing the sliding doors, lots of people have used IKEA's sliding doors that go on the PAX closet system as a hack for other uses. I have them on my PAX closet - they're frosted glass with a metal frame, pretty modern. You can also buy the frame and hardware for their sliding doors separately, I believe. If you Google "IKEA sliding doors room divider" and such terms, as well as visit the IKEA Hackers website, you'll find lots of people have blogged or forum'd about how they utilized the doors as room dividers, walls, or as sliding doors in wide doorways. Just one option for ya.
 
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