So Happy to Live My Truth


New member
I'm a 30-something year old finally living free and happy.

Relationships were difficult for me from the start. I'm a CSA and have had years of trauma compounded onto each other, so my initial approach to sexuality was very cold and distant in a feeble attempt to protect myself.

My first significant sexual experiences were twisted in the abuse, so when I started dating I gravitated towards figures that resembled my abusers. At 19 I got married to a marine who eventually cheated on me. From then on I had narcissistic partners with serious personality disorders. By my second ex-husband I drew enough support and strength to escape.

When I returned home an old childhood friend came to help. This friend, L, eventually became a lover and now a partner. He's the father of my only child, and I absolutely adore him. He is the reason why I feel like polyamory works. We communicate very well and set appropriate boundaries. He not only does that, but works with my traumas through deep compassion and patience. He has always been naturally compersive, and we've seen each other through separate relationships growing up. Maybe that's why I'm happy when he dates. I really hope the ladies he takes interest in are deserving and worthy of him.

I've attempted to open up my romantic relationships before, but my abusive partners were using it as a way to cheat in a way. L is the healthiest and happiest relationship I've ever been in, and it's thanks to him that I can finally live my truth!


Official Greeter
Staff member
Greetings pittarotaro,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

L sounds like a neat guy, I am glad you're with him. It sounds like you have traveled a long road in order to overcome the abuse, kudos for not giving up. Things are looking up for you, and now you're a member on where you can make new friends and post thoughts and questions. Glad to have you with us!

Kevin T., "official greeter" :)


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Welcome aboard!


Active member
I’m so glad you are in such a good place! Welcome to the forum.

May I ask what ‘CSA’ means? I googled it and came up with many different results.


Official Greeter
Staff member
My guess is "Child Sexual Abuse," but I could be wrong.


Well-known member
Hi pittarotaro - and welcome to the Forum! We will look forward to hearing more of your story. We have a good number of experienced poly folks here on the forum who are generally helpful and friendly, so please do not hesitate to post any specific thoughts and questions that you may have. The General Poly Discussion and Poly Relationship Corner sections are generally quite active. Best of luck on your journey! Al
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New member
Thank you all for the kind and warm replies. My nesting partner and I have just begun opening up our relationship, and we’ve both gone on a few dates.

I’ve had more success finding people in OKC and I’m pretty set on trying to develop two right now with two other polys. Excited to see where it’ll eventually lead me!