Social advice

[WhereaMi52]

I could use some advice on socializing.

I have never been much of an extrovert at all. I feel like that might be a problem when it comes to meeting new people, since I'm trying to work towards being in an open relationship. Tonight I went to an event in Leavenworth that was kind of political (so it was quite literally the perfect scene for me), but one thing frustrated me, and then I just got super overwhelmed and had to leave. I feel like I do that at any social event I attend and I don't know how to meet new people if I can't even stand being around large groups of people long enough to actually talk to anyone.

I have never been super social, but I really want to be in order to meet new people and grow as a person. I also don't want to be considered boring to anyone that I might meet and it has always bothered me that I can't seem to stand being around people in general. If anyone has any advice for me, that would be super helpful. Thank you all and have a great night.

 

[Magdlyn]

I understand what you're going through. Even thought I am an ambivert, I have an introverted life partner of 16 years, and my sister was an introvert as well.

My partner Pixi is friendly, while still being introverted. She does best in groups when she has a clear list of duties to perform, and isn't forced to make small talk with strangers or even large groups of friends. I remember the first time we went to a big wedding together. I was shocked how she basically remained frozen in a corner the entire time.

But she found her niche at a job at a camp for kids with special needs, where she has specific duties, and a timeline throughout the day to stick to, even though there are 300 kids per session and dozens of staff.

Maybe your big political event didn't give you enough focus to feel safe, secure and powerful.

Pixi also likes more "behind the scenes" type roles, as did my sister. My sister also thrived in a dance group, where there was a specific activity to focus on and bond over with the other people.

But as for actually meeting people to date, perhaps you could focus on smaller events, or go to larger ones with a small group of friends that you feel comfortable with? One-0n-one conversations probably work better for you than large group intereactions.

Online dating also works well for people who don't want to mingle in large crowds of relative strangers.

 

[WhereaMi52]

I understand what you're going through. Even thought I am an ambivert, I have an introverted life partner of 16 years, and my sister was an introvert as well.

My partner Pixi is friendly, while still being introverted. She does best in groups when she has a clear list of duties to perform, and isn't forced to make small talk with strangers or even large groups of friends. I remember the first time we went to a big wedding together. I was shocked how she basically remained frozen in a corner the entire time.

But she found her niche at a job at a camp for kids with special needs, where she has specific duties, and a timeline throughout the day to stick to, even though there are 300 kids per session and dozens of staff.

Maybe your big political event didn't give you enough focus to feel safe, secure and powerful.

Pixi also likes more "behind the scenes" type roles, as did my sister. My sister also thrived in a dance group, where there was a specific activity to focus on and bond over with the other people.

But as for actually meeting people to date, perhaps you could focus on smaller events, or go to larger ones with a small group of friends that you feel comfortable with? One-0n-one conversations probably work better for you than large group intereactions.

Online dating also works well for people who don't want to mingle in large crowds of relative strangers.

I like the idea of specific tasks. That is very helpful, thank you.

 

[kdt26417]

Hello WhereaMi52,

You just have to get out there, and start to get used to being around people. It won't be easy at first, but as you persist at it, it will gradually get easier. I speak from experience, I am a fellow introvert.

Regards,
Kevin T.