Somewhat new but not really (hotwifing)

A

Anonymous_rican

New member
Need advice, opinions, whatever anyone can offer..
My wife and I have been together 17 years and have experienced threesomes with women for a good portion of it.

As of 2 years ago couples was brought up and we went on some dates, never went fully into it but enjoyed it.

As of recent “hotwife” has been a term she’s brought up and myself as well.
She had one experience she met a guy and gave him oral and that was that.

We’ve talked to single guys, went to dinner with one he was great and with another just message through snap chat in a group with all of us and they sext.
Recently a coworker showed interest so she has been sexting and showing me and on break blew him and he fingers for a minute while she recorded for me. That’s a strong boundary. Every encounter to be recorded

I love talking about it and encouraging but at my pace because again this is something she bright up to me.

We spoke one night and she used the word impatient and she wants to just get it done….

How should I feel
 
Hello. This is a discussion board for polyamory, which means "many loves." It's not a board for swinging, group sex, hot-wifing or cuckoldry. There are other places online to find those communities that might be of more help to you.
 
Hello Anonymous_rican,

It sounds like you are working on a hotwife type of arrangement. You want to go slow, but she wants to go fast. You need to find a middle ground that is comfortable for both of you. Let your feelings be your guide, if you feel like you need to go slower, then that's what you need to do.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
Thank you for this! I don’t blame her, it’s something we’ve talked about for a while and she wants to experience it. But she equates it to the females we have been with and in my opinion it’s different because if she’s okay with sharing me with females that’s okay with her. I’m ready but not rushing and taking our time
 
Yeah, it's usually better to go slow anyway. Not that you should come to a standstill, but err on the side of caution, and learn as much as you can along the way.
 
Anonymous_rican said:
So sorry I thought it was geared towards advice seeking. I’m very sorry
Click to expand...
It is a board to share information, opinions and experiences with polyamory.

Polyamory: a form of adult relationship where love between multiple partners is expected or practiced, with the full knowledge and joyful consent of all involved.

Those other relationship forms all fall under the umbrella of ethical non-monogamy (ENM). But they, along with polyamory, are all different. A good place to learn more about hotwifing would be websites dedicated specifically to that topic, or over on the networking website for kinksters, Fetlife.

I am assuming the threesomes you had with other women were mostly, if not entirely, sex-based. Polyamory is all about emotions, fondness, vanilla dating, families, romantic love. Sex is generally involved, but it's not the point of poly. People are expected to fall in love.

Poly folk aren't picking people up in bars and having sex in the bathroom and recording it for their partner for his or her sexual gratification. (Not that there's anything wrong with that. Your kink is not my kink and that's okay.) Quite often 2 members of a poly couple won't tell each other anything about the sex they have with their other partner(s). Sometimes a poly couple will both date the same person, but that's far rarer than dating independently.

What you want concerns sexuality, voyeurism, exhibitionism and the like. Those are not part of polyamory. Poly folk can be into swinging or hotwifing, etc., but they aren't the same thing. I hope that helps. :)
 
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