Steve's ENM journey

Just putting my thoughts here but there were some positive changes.

They had a great time. Emma and Kaitlyn both like trail running and apparently they like the same spots too. Emma told me that the topic of "Steve" didn't come up the first 45 minutes. Emma said they just discussed about K's school, E's work and the kids. K told me that Emma asked her if I was treating her right (side note, wtf? why wouldn't I) and if she was happy. Emma told me that K was very thankful to her for "sharing" me and all for the times Emma took the kids so that she could stay at my place over the weekends.

Their first impressions of each other were solid and I was happy. A Friday ago, the kids were at my parents place and I was planning to spend the night with Kaitlyn. We usually boulder and then just go to her place. Emma texted kaitlyn directly and asked us to come home to have some dinner instead of eating outside. It was kind of awkward to go back and then leave along with Kaitlyn but this was the first time Kaitlyn and Emma were in my house at the same time.

They are texting each other regularly now going as far as planning with whom I am gonna spend my days with. I, for one, ma happy as a clam. We are in a group chat and the last message is from Emma, "Kaitlyn, could Steve spend tomorrow with you?" and Kaitlyn hearted that message.

I kept the best for the last. Emma and I are having sex again. Just once a week for now but she initiates and I am happily complying.

There is a talk about the ladies going for a trip in late spring just by themselves. So interesting times ahead.
 
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Kaitlyn told me that she loves me. She immediately prefaced by saying that I don't have to say it back. I was an idiot and I just nodded. I kind of guessed that she was in love with me and I would be lying if I said that I didn't love her back. After a couple of days (yesterday), I also told her that I love her.

I have not told my wife anything, but just mustering some courage to do so. I never thought I would be in such a situation.
 
Stevek said:
Kaitlyn told me that she loves me. She immediately prefaced by saying that I don't have to say it back. I was an idiot and I just nodded. I kind of guessed that she was in love with me and I would be lying if I said that I didn't love her back. After a couple of days (yesterday), I also told her that I love her.

I have not told my wife anything, but just mustering some courage to do so. I never thought I would be in such a situation.
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Congrats! Life is full of changes, isn't it?
 
Kaitlyn and Emma are on a trip right now. Never expected that something like this would be happening in my life.
 
So... Emma and Kaitlyn became very good friends now and are planning a trip with me in the coming weeks. The three of us for 3-4 days while the kids are away. I think it is a bad idea.
 
Stevek said:
So... Emma and Kaitlyn became very good friends now and are planning a trip with me in the coming weeks. The three of us for 3-4 days while the kids are away. I think it is a bad idea.
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Why? Would you prefere to try one day first?
 
Stevek said:
So... Emma and Kaitlyn became very good friends now and are planning a trip with me in the coming weeks. The three of us for 3-4 days while the kids are away. I think it is a bad idea.
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It sounds like you think that would be too challenging, as the "hinge." You can say no, if you're not interested at this time.
 
I am worried that there will be some kind of talks for threesome (which I am completely down for) and I am worried that it might hurt Emma after everything is over.
 
Then you should talk to Emma prior to the trip... In fact, you should all talk about expectations. There need not be sex on the trip at all, unless everyone is very happy about it.

And yes, Emma could be hurt seeing firsthand how hot your passion burns. That's why I, personally, would not go for four days right away - it's difficult to deal with big feelings arising while still on vacation.
 
Stevek said:
I am worried that there will be some kind of talks for threesome (which I am completely down for) and I am worried that it might hurt Emma after everything is over.
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As usual (and I say this with love) you seem to worry and worry about sex instead of just addressing it and speaking up. All you have to do is talk to Emma and Kaitlyn, either separately or together, and tell them exactly this.

Threesome sex can be very awkward when you first try it. It takes real interpersonal skill and etiquette to make it work, to satisfy everyone, so no one feels left out. Also, it can feel good physically in the moment, but feel rather rotten emotionally afterwards. At least, that has been my experience. Seeing as your sex life with Emma is not frequent, and Kaitlyn was a virgin before you and she began, I see some red flags for a less than stellar result.

Talk about it. Ask everyone how they want to do it. What activities are they interested in? For example, would Emma want to see you actually have intercourse with Kaitlyn the first time, or maybe just do outercourse, and save the penetration for her? If so, are you okay with that? Is Kait?

Are the women bi-curious? Have they been flirting and maybe doing some kissing already? Or would their focus be on you?

In one situation I was in years ago, my bf at that time came over to "play" with me and my gf Pixi and a female ex/friend of hers who was in town briefly. This woman, Tori, was a swinger. First, we three women had sex together for a bit. (I was a lot more adventurous back then.) Then I asked if we should add some male energy. They agreed, and we invited my bf D over. He and I had had a threesome once with Pixi, so there was a little experience there.

Well, D was so excited to be with the new woman Tori that he focused much more on her all night and into the next morning. In fact, he barely wanted to fuck me. At one point, Tori whispered to him to give me some attention and fuck me. He did, but he was only semi-hard. She started kissing him and I felt him stiffen inside me from her kisses! That was pretty horrible and insulting.

He apologized later for his NRE-fueled behaviors. (There were others.) This was a pretty long time ago, and I'm over it, but it's just one example of how things can go wrong.

So, instead of just being afraid and sitting and overthinking things, take the bull by the horns and talk about your fears. Be honest. Make a plan. You will all benefit. :)
 
Magdlyn said:
As usual (and I say this with love) you seem to worry and worry about sex instead of just addressing it and speaking up.
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Yeah, lol, I also thought it was the same story from the very start :) We all know it's genuinely hard to break old patterns :)

I don't have the experience to give threesome-specific advice like Magdlyn. I just want to point out that the women might have tons of other goals with this trip than a threesome - like just building friendship and family-like bonds - so you have to find out if your assumptions are realistic at all first. It's ok to just ask.
 
Thanks a lot for the kind messages.

After I was expressing some hesitation about the duration of the trip, Emma told me that they already booked a place and wanted to surprise me.

As a compromise, I suggested that we all take a day trip before the big trip and see how things go. I don't think the three of us have spent any time together, other than a few minutes here and there while picking up and dropping off Emma or Kaitlyn.

I asked about the sleeping arrangements during the big trip, and my wife thought I was suggesting something, 🤦‍♂️ and she started smiling slyly. I had to ask her to cool her jets and we had a long conversation and things kind of took a drastic turn.

I think I mentioned sometime ago about my wife's cuckquean fetish. Kaitlyn doesn't know about this and I never mentioned anything to her. I told Emma that Kaitlyn should know about this, as hiding it from her is practically deceiving her.

Emma and Kaitlyn are having lunch together. This could make or break us. So for all I know, I might just be with Emma from tomorrow onwards.
 
Stevek said:
I think I mentioned sometime ago about my wife's cuckquean fetish. Kaitlyn doesn't know about this and I never mentioned anything to her. I told Emma that Kaitlyn should know about this, as hiding it from her is practically deceiving her.

Emma and Kaitlyn are having lunch together. This could make our break us. So for all I know, I might just be with Emma from tomorrow onwards.
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OMG, I hope it just makes or breaks the trip! That would be indeed really dramatic if you wife withdrew consent now.
 
Seems like your decision not to tell the kids yet was right.
 
Tinwen said:
OMG, I hope it just makes or breaks the trip! That would be indeed really dramatic if you wife withdrew consent now.
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Emma is cool. It is Kaitlyn who might not be okay with my wife's fetish.
 
Stevek said:
Emma is cool. It is Kaitlyn who might not be okay with my wife's fetish.
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I see. My guess is, that's probably not a break-up reason at this point, since a far as I know, you haven't been sharing many details about Kaitlyn's sexlife with Emma. So probably just a boundary discussion, which you might need to help with.
 
Yesterday was one of the worst days I have ever had. I dropped Emma off at a restaurant where she was meeting Kaitlyn. I had to go to the garage, where I had to deal with an idiot who did not want to pay for the repairs his car desperately needed. At one point, I kid you not, he said, "I will call my attorney, and he will sue you." In the end, I asked him how much he could pay, added another 200 bucks to it, and called it even. He was very happy to pay that. Now I have to ban that vehicle from ever entering my garage. Then, an employee had to leave early because his wife was giving birth, so I picked up his share of the work.

My original plan was to meet Kaitlyn after work, but after I got grimy, I decided to shower at home before going to see her. I had zero messages from my wife or Kaitlyn. After meeting with Kaitlyn, my wife decided to visit her family, so I knew that she would be busy. As I was about to leave, I was chatting with my son, and one of my worst fears came to life. I saw something sticking out of my son's pocket and asked him what it was. His pale face immediately told me that it was something he was not supposed to have. He removed a vape from his pocket and handed it to me.

First, he lied, saying that it was his friend's and that he had just forgotten to give it back after borrowing it just to look at it. I asked him to be honest, and he finally admitted that he got it from a friend yesterday and vaped after school.

He is an excellent student and always gets perfect grades. He never causes any trouble, and I never thought I would have to worry about him. Yesterday was a wake-up call. I had to take care of some other business and told him that I would talk to him today. He seemed very apologetic, but I am disappointed in two things: that he is vaping and that he lied.

My first instinct was to yell at him, but I refrained. I took the nicotine pen and asked him if he had any more, to which he shook his head no. I got a text saying that my wife would be home soon, so I decided to cool off and left to see Kaitlyn.

Well, my meeting with Kaitlyn was another ordeal. Instead of simply explaining her fetish, my wonderful wife decided to go one step further and shared way too many details. She apparently went through the texts between Kaitlyn and me and masturbated to them, which was news to me. She told Kaitlyn that she was very happy when we decided not to use condoms. Emma also mentioned to Kaitlyn that she gives me blowjobs immediately after I get home from Kaitlyn's place. There were more graphic details, but this kind of thing scarred Kaitlyn. She said she needs to think about what my wife said over the next few days. I did not know quite a few of the details that Emma shared, and I was also embarrassed when Kaitlyn was retelling them. We had some dinner, and I assumed I would be going home, but Kaitlyn wanted to have sex, and she insisted that I needed to shower before I went home.

At home, we were more occupied by our son's newfound nicotine addiction. We will discuss the whole Kaitlyn-Emma business tomorrow, but suffice it to say that the trip will not happen.
 
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