For me it goes a step further, any relationship that requires I compromise on something I value is beneath me. I know that in traditional relationships the idea of compromise is touted as a high virtue, but I'm not interested in traditional relationships, I am interested in good relationships.
Instead I propose only having relationships that exist in the natural mutual overlap of two people. Where there isn't natural overlap, trim down the relationship until only overlap exists.
- They are obsessed with Dr Who and I think it sucks, trim out Dr Who viewing nights. Maybe we can actually watch something we BOTH like.
- They love to peg with a strapon and I don't want a strapon up my butt, trim the strapon. Maybe we can have sex that we BOTH enjoy instead.
- They need traditional attachment and I need solo style independence, trim the romantic aspects of the relationship. Maybe we can have relationships where we BOTH are actually enjoying it instead
Relationship compromise is one of those things that doesn't make a lot of sense but people still hold it as a high value, and recommend it to others. As a member of a society we just get so used to hearing it's a good thing that we instinctively treat it that way. Personally I've never seen that it does anything but make sure that everyone loses, and resentment has fertile ground to flourish.
Now you can both continue your search for romantic partners you have fundamental overlap with. I'm so glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself. I hope that others read your story and follow your fine example.