Suggesting adding another partner...

majormerrick

majormerrick

New member
My husband (Ares) and our housemate (Artemis) are really good friends, but that's where the relationship stops. They talk a lot, they tend to be late night drinking buddies at the kitchen table, and they work together. He brought her into the home when her husband died a couple of years ago because she didn't want to live alone with her kids while working.

I can see that there's something possibly romantic between them, but I don't think my husband does. In my conversations with her, she has alluded to the idea of wanting to have an intimate relationship again, but hasn't said more. I also understand from another source that she has some level of attraction to me....

So, would it be appropriate to suggest to them that they might fall in love if they gave it a chance? Or at least to talk to my husband about it?
 
majormerrick said:
So, would it be appropriate to suggest to them that they might fall in love if they gave it a chance? Or at least to talk to my husband about it?
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Nope.

I'm sure that they are both quite capable of deciding on whether they are attracted to each other (or not). The man has 3 wives, I'm pretty certain he understands how this works. They may have already considered the idea and have already decided that this is the type of relationship that suits them both at this time for reasons of their own.

I'd put this is the "not my circus, not my monkeys" department and leave it well enough alone.
 
MajorMerrick, hi.

While it's certainly not inappropriate for you to share your thoughts and feelings with Ares - he is your husband, after all - I'm not sure it's appropriate to "suggest" he and his platonic friend/colleague enter into a romantic relationship unless he has indicated to you that he has an interest in that direction.

He may not be attracted to her in this way and besides, with three wives already and several children and metamours in the household, he may be "polysaturated". You can only ask how he feels about her, but that's probably the extent of it.

You also indicated in your OP that the friend may be looking for another relationship now that she's passed the initial mourning period for her deceased husband... and that perhaps she is interested in YOU. If that's the case, why not pursue a relationship with her yourself (unless you don't feel similarly attracted towards towards her at all)?

You probably have intentions of alleviating her loneliness, which is a worthy objective, however proximity/opportunity alone doesn't make for a compatible romantic partnership.
 
Hi majormerrick,

If you decided to suggest to them that they might fall in love if they gave it a chance, I would consider that "appropriate but not necessary." In other words, it is up to you, there is more than one right away to approach this situation. They do seem to have something going on there, just based on your description. They spend a lot of time with each other, which in my opinion can facilitate love.

Just wondering, do you want them to fall in love? How would you respond if that happened? What about if she expressed an interest in you?

Interesting possibilities.
Regards,
Kevin T.
 
kdt26417 said:
Just wondering, do you want them to fall in love? How would you respond if that happened? What about if she expressed an interest in you?
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I’m not sure if I “want” them to fall in love exactly, but I think it would be a good outcome for them. They are close, and it would seem to be a natural progression. I don’t know of another person who would understand Artemis as well as my husband seems to. He’s the one she turns to for affection and support most of the time. After being alone for so long, she needs a relationship and intimate contact. I would fully support it and I’d do my best toward her as a new wife if they married.

I don’t really have much of an interest in Artemis, but that’s partly due to the situation. She’s attractive, but I just don’t know her very well. I think her interest in me is more sexual than anything. Right now, I’m five months pregnant and kind of exhausted. I just don’t feel capable of taking on another intimate relationship without some help. I’m a sex partner for five people, and some days I feel like I spend most of my time after work in bed. If Artemis became Ares’ wife or someone else’s partner too, then of course I wouldn’t say no to her if she wanted me….but I just don’t have the energy to be one-on-one with her.
 
It sounds like Ares and Artemis are a good fit.
 
Ravenscroft said:
The first thought of mine is harem-building.

You might be "Wife #3" of... what, five? ten? twenty?

You have repeatedly said you know exactly what you've joined. By all means, enjoy. Let us know how well it goes.
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I might've thought so too, only it seems MajorMerrick has a "harem" of girlfriends of her own who may not also be partners of Ares.
 
Ravenscroft said:
The first thought of mine is harem-building.
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:rolleyes: When I was on OKC, one guy asked if he could join my "stable" of boys. :D (all BOTH of them)
 
A good rule of thumb is that relationships should be self-determined, so other than very lightly touch on the topic showing you would be positive to such a development, if it were to occur, I think it's best to keep a discreet distance.
 
lunabunny said:
I might've thought so too, only it seems MajorMerrick has a "harem" of girlfriends of her own who may not also be partners of Ares.
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Well...we basically joined two triads together. Before I married Ares, he had two wives and I had two girlfriends. Then things got sticky. Renarde and Reina fell in love suddenly, and my old relationship with Ares reignited. For right now, my girlfriends aren't involved with my husband, and he interacts with them like they are his sisters. They have an excellent bond, though.

As of right now, I haven't said anything to Ares or Artemis. I've watched them closely the last few days, just to gauge where they are at. They make a LOT of physical contact...more than usual for "just friends." Last night they were watching something on the computer and she was enjoying getting her back rubbed. Of course, we have a lot of physical affection in our home in general, so it might just be the environment.

I actually felt a twinge of jealousy earlier....Artemis has been keeping him company while he works on his car, which is something he and I have done together. Lately I just haven't had the energy to do that, and it kind of felt like she took "my place." Irrational, because I wouldn't be jealous if he was hanging out with a male friend and doing that, and sometimes Swift helps him with projects and that doesn't bother me. I think it is the uncertainty more than anything.
 
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