Inyourendo
New member
Ugh. I got treated like shit yesterday and decided I had enough. I blocked him and decided I have to stay strong with the whole no contact thing!
Tales from the Time Share Wife
- Thread starter Inyourendo
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Inyourendo
New member
He talked to me today and made excuses. "The death of an animal upsets me," "I was not happy with the circumstances," "I'm under a lot of stress." Not a single apology. I wasn't expecting he would apologize. He's never sorry.
powerpuffgrl1969
Active member
You have "taught" him that he can treat you any way he pleases. You will get upset for a while, but will always come back for more. This has been going on for over two years, right? Fool me once, shame on you. . . It's NEVER going to get any better.
How can he talk to you if you've blocked him and gone no contact?
Inyourendo
New member
No contact doesn't work for me, I do like the friendship aspect of our relationship and I think that's been why it's so hard to just cut him out. I'm not going to be with him, but I think keeping touch, at least for the time being, is what I need to do to wean off.
Inyourendo
New member
I wouldn't be going to his house, considering his mother is back in town, and quite honestly his new roommate makes me uncomfortable. There is really no reason for his mom to move out, since I can't take my kids there with me, regardless. His roommate works from home doing inbound calls and he sleeps all day. Also, for some reason Sam moved his bedroom into the living room, so there's no space for my kids anyhow. He's yet again created an unwelcoming environment, which makes not seeing him or having sex with him easier.
silencebreaking
New member
Why do you want to pursue a friendship with someone that has little-to-no respect for you as a person, let alone as a friend?
I don't think I've commented on your blog before, but this sounds SO familiar to me. I insisted on trying to stay friends with someone after we broke up, because, like you, I liked the friendship aspect of our relationship. I ended up having to cut contact with him completely, even skipping events I would have otherwise attended, to give myself a chance to heal fully before interacting with him again. Every time that I broke down and talked to him, or allowed him access to my life again, it was like picking at a scab... except I was ripping off already healed skin each time.
He is not adding a healthy component to your life. And could he be rearranging everything in his life to make it inhospitable for you, because he wants to cut the remaining ties you have, but doesn't have the balls to do it himself?
I don't think I've commented on your blog before, but this sounds SO familiar to me. I insisted on trying to stay friends with someone after we broke up, because, like you, I liked the friendship aspect of our relationship. I ended up having to cut contact with him completely, even skipping events I would have otherwise attended, to give myself a chance to heal fully before interacting with him again. Every time that I broke down and talked to him, or allowed him access to my life again, it was like picking at a scab... except I was ripping off already healed skin each time.
He is not adding a healthy component to your life. And could he be rearranging everything in his life to make it inhospitable for you, because he wants to cut the remaining ties you have, but doesn't have the balls to do it himself?
IndieSolo
Active member
Inyourendo, he is like a drug that isn't good for you in any way, shape, or form -- and you are addicted. I think you need to go cold turkey! Why treat yourself so poorly? Think what you are teaching your children about relationships and the kind of crap treatment and disrespect you accept!
Inyourendo
New member
The whole fighting endorphin thing totally seems to be true. I never thought about that.
As far as my kids being exposed, he and I haven't had fights around the kids. All this stuff has been over text messages. Basically, he gets mad about something, then refuses to talk to me over the phone or in person about it. Being ignored when I want to work things out is a huge stressor for me.
I'm not going to be buddy-buddy with him, but being able to just shoot the breeze via text or call makes it easier for me to move on. We did some talking yesterday and I was surprised to find out that he told that chic that he loved her. I asked him if he meant it and he said at the time he thought he did. No wonder she's posting sad Facebook memes about "Not being as important to someone as you thought you were." No wonder she tried to expose their relationship. She was getting tired of being a secret.
I think Sam liked having a girlfriend that he didn't have a lot of responsibility for, as well as someone who he can use as an excuse to keep others from getting close to him. He seems to have some major intimacy issues. I should have known something was odd when he'd been single since the divorce of his wife 4 years before we got together, or that he'd dated other women, sometimes for several months, including sleepovers, without having sex with them.
While I am annoyed by his mom and roommate, because they seem to be a barrier, the truth is it really doesn't seem to matter, because he's pretty boring in the house. While an occasional sleepover was fun, doing it a couple nights a week wasn't. He's insistent that he's trying to save money to buy a house and that having roommates is just a temporary situation for a few years. My mistake was trying to be on a relationship escalator with someone with whom that isn't a possibility.
As far as my kids being exposed, he and I haven't had fights around the kids. All this stuff has been over text messages. Basically, he gets mad about something, then refuses to talk to me over the phone or in person about it. Being ignored when I want to work things out is a huge stressor for me.
I'm not going to be buddy-buddy with him, but being able to just shoot the breeze via text or call makes it easier for me to move on. We did some talking yesterday and I was surprised to find out that he told that chic that he loved her. I asked him if he meant it and he said at the time he thought he did. No wonder she's posting sad Facebook memes about "Not being as important to someone as you thought you were." No wonder she tried to expose their relationship. She was getting tired of being a secret.
I think Sam liked having a girlfriend that he didn't have a lot of responsibility for, as well as someone who he can use as an excuse to keep others from getting close to him. He seems to have some major intimacy issues. I should have known something was odd when he'd been single since the divorce of his wife 4 years before we got together, or that he'd dated other women, sometimes for several months, including sleepovers, without having sex with them.
While I am annoyed by his mom and roommate, because they seem to be a barrier, the truth is it really doesn't seem to matter, because he's pretty boring in the house. While an occasional sleepover was fun, doing it a couple nights a week wasn't. He's insistent that he's trying to save money to buy a house and that having roommates is just a temporary situation for a few years. My mistake was trying to be on a relationship escalator with someone with whom that isn't a possibility.
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Inyourendo
New member
On a fun note, Nate's dad, sister and 4 nieces are in town. My daughters are 6.5 and almost 4, and hers are 5, 3, 3, and newborn. We've been going on a lot of fun outings. The girls all get along really well. We spent Sunday at the amusement park. I wore the baby in a mei tai carrier and supervised the 5 little blond girls for awhile, while Nate and his family went off to enjoy some adult rides. Thank goodness the girls are pretty easygoing. lol
Inyourendo
New member
I went to Sam's play tonight. He practically begged me to come. Then he texted less than an hour before show time that she told him that she was going to bail on the play if I was going to be in the audience and begged me NOT to come. I told him that she doesn't control me, so I was coming, and maybe she shouldn't do plays if she was going to be unprofessional.
Before the play, he went around shaking people's hands, saying thanks for coming. He approached me like I was a stranger. I told him I wasn't going to be treated like some stranger. After the play he ran off stage, and was nowhere to be seen, nor did he come back while I was there. He texted me, saying he was so upset that he almost puked in the toilet afterward. Bullshit! He probably made some kind of deal with her to placate her
Then she was posting public photos of her with his niece. Of course his family just loves her and was saying sweet things to her.
Before the play, he went around shaking people's hands, saying thanks for coming. He approached me like I was a stranger. I told him I wasn't going to be treated like some stranger. After the play he ran off stage, and was nowhere to be seen, nor did he come back while I was there. He texted me, saying he was so upset that he almost puked in the toilet afterward. Bullshit! He probably made some kind of deal with her to placate her
Then she was posting public photos of her with his niece. Of course his family just loves her and was saying sweet things to her.
Inyourendo
New member
Inyourendo
New member
As it turns out, the reason why his sister knows about ex-side-piece is because, back last October-November, when she was going to his house, his sister showed up to pick up his niece and figured out that they were lovers. They friended each other on Facebook. So his sister likes her. I have a feeling that she manipulated a friendship with them in order to get closer to him.
IndieSolo
Active member
You are what my mother used to call a "glutton for punishment." You wouldn't even know about whatever bullshit goes on in his life if you would just stay away from him and end it. Stop stop stop. Seriously. Reading your blog is like watching a car crash in slow motion.
You deserve more than what he can or will give you, but you need to start valuing yourself more and seeing your own self-worth!
You deserve more than what he can or will give you, but you need to start valuing yourself more and seeing your own self-worth!
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Inyourendo
New member
Idk. This situation just amuses me. Now his ex-side-piece is posting stuff on Facebook about how it's sad her stalkers don't have a happy life.
Our mutual friend told her last night that she needs to move on, because Sam and I will be going to couple's therapy and that really upset her, especially right before the play
Our mutual friend told her last night that she needs to move on, because Sam and I will be going to couple's therapy and that really upset her, especially right before the play
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