Hello and thank you for letting me be part of your community. I am always happy to meet new people and I would like to introduce myself to you guys so you will know how I came to join you.
I was in a monogamous marriage for 20 years and divorced 17 years ago when my two kids were 8 and 11...yep , I am that old
I consider myself very lucky to be healthy physically and mentally at this time in my life.
I appreciate Arts and Sciences and try honestly to be the best openminded human possible. I am not a religious person but more of the philosophical type .
In 1995 , My second child was born with a birth defect that put her life in danger so I decided to stay home for a good part of her early years. Although I loved (and still do of course) both my kids very much, I felt extremely lonely at home just being a mother with no adults around. You don't exchange much with toddlers and I relied exclusively on my husband to bring home some news and excitement. Turned out he was not much into what was interesting to me and I realized that I made a mistake by choosing him as a life companion. On the other hand, he loved having his meal served, his house cleaned and his clothes neatly folded in his drawer. In short , I woke up one day realizing that I was living the life of a 50's housewife and couldn't bare it anymore. I needed to get out of the kitchen and fast.
I told him I wanted to go back to work, that he will have to share some of the household chores with me and take care of the kids once in a while. That quickly turned sour to the point where we were living as two cousins under the same roof.
Meanwhile at work , I was surrounded by a bunch of young and dynamic coworkers and had the greatest relationship with them even though I was older by a good 10 to 15 years. I was in my early forties and felt secretly attracted to some of my male colleagues with no real hope of seducing anyone. It just did not felt right and I was afraid of being the type of woman that everybody call Cougar.
Turns out I finally gave in to my desires after one of the young man declared he was very attracted to me. We had an affair for a while but I was in the middle of my messy divorce and he was seeing someone else so I thought it was better for both of us if we just stop seeing each other.
He got married with the girl he was going out with at that time and they had a child. I would hear from him once in a while ( 2 or 3 times a year) but almost each time we got together , it ended up in a Bed. It went on for years like that. The sex was just to great I guess but I felt attached to him, so 2 years ago I told him I didn't want to continue to go on like this, that I needed to have a real relationship with him and that he would have to find a way to make this work on his end if he wanted to continue to see me. Then it was complete silence for a good 1 1/2 year until last spring.He told me that he needed to be with me to the point that he confessed everything about us to his wife , telling her that he felt happier when I am part of his life.
To his surprise, she agreed that there was things that she could not give him anymore and that she was happy that he found somebody that could fulfill his needs.
He asked me if this was acceptable on my end to be part of his life within a polyamory relationship structure and I told him I would give it an honest try but I was unsure of my feelings about that . So, just like that, and for the past 3 months, we became slowly new members of the polyamory community.
But it is easier said than done and we are running in a bunch of problems that leaves me most of the time by myself to deal with. We are 2+1 ...and 1 is the loneliest number . There is also the age difference of 13 years between us that adds another level of difficulty . The good society doesn't accept well a woman being much older than a man .and that often ends up in mockeries. These are the reasons why I will certainly seek your experience and your support in the next few months as I am wondering if this lifestyle is the right one for me. Thank you for reading me !
Peitho
I was in a monogamous marriage for 20 years and divorced 17 years ago when my two kids were 8 and 11...yep , I am that old
I consider myself very lucky to be healthy physically and mentally at this time in my life.
I appreciate Arts and Sciences and try honestly to be the best openminded human possible. I am not a religious person but more of the philosophical type .
In 1995 , My second child was born with a birth defect that put her life in danger so I decided to stay home for a good part of her early years. Although I loved (and still do of course) both my kids very much, I felt extremely lonely at home just being a mother with no adults around. You don't exchange much with toddlers and I relied exclusively on my husband to bring home some news and excitement. Turned out he was not much into what was interesting to me and I realized that I made a mistake by choosing him as a life companion. On the other hand, he loved having his meal served, his house cleaned and his clothes neatly folded in his drawer. In short , I woke up one day realizing that I was living the life of a 50's housewife and couldn't bare it anymore. I needed to get out of the kitchen and fast.
I told him I wanted to go back to work, that he will have to share some of the household chores with me and take care of the kids once in a while. That quickly turned sour to the point where we were living as two cousins under the same roof.
Meanwhile at work , I was surrounded by a bunch of young and dynamic coworkers and had the greatest relationship with them even though I was older by a good 10 to 15 years. I was in my early forties and felt secretly attracted to some of my male colleagues with no real hope of seducing anyone. It just did not felt right and I was afraid of being the type of woman that everybody call Cougar.
Turns out I finally gave in to my desires after one of the young man declared he was very attracted to me. We had an affair for a while but I was in the middle of my messy divorce and he was seeing someone else so I thought it was better for both of us if we just stop seeing each other.
He got married with the girl he was going out with at that time and they had a child. I would hear from him once in a while ( 2 or 3 times a year) but almost each time we got together , it ended up in a Bed. It went on for years like that. The sex was just to great I guess but I felt attached to him, so 2 years ago I told him I didn't want to continue to go on like this, that I needed to have a real relationship with him and that he would have to find a way to make this work on his end if he wanted to continue to see me. Then it was complete silence for a good 1 1/2 year until last spring.He told me that he needed to be with me to the point that he confessed everything about us to his wife , telling her that he felt happier when I am part of his life.
To his surprise, she agreed that there was things that she could not give him anymore and that she was happy that he found somebody that could fulfill his needs.
He asked me if this was acceptable on my end to be part of his life within a polyamory relationship structure and I told him I would give it an honest try but I was unsure of my feelings about that . So, just like that, and for the past 3 months, we became slowly new members of the polyamory community.
But it is easier said than done and we are running in a bunch of problems that leaves me most of the time by myself to deal with. We are 2+1 ...and 1 is the loneliest number . There is also the age difference of 13 years between us that adds another level of difficulty . The good society doesn't accept well a woman being much older than a man .and that often ends up in mockeries. These are the reasons why I will certainly seek your experience and your support in the next few months as I am wondering if this lifestyle is the right one for me. Thank you for reading me !
Peitho
