The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Second Date - different chick

So yesterday Dude went on his second OKC date (different girl).

The first date (with the other girl), two weeks ago, there was a little treading on eggshells - where he asked me if I would like it if he came home (see above posts). We had some pre-his-date, post-his-date went well from my end (how it went on their end is their business, but she didn't feel the "chemistry").

So, this second date was more open ended. She was going to meet him at a certain place, they would probably go out to eat, she could meet MrS or not depending on what time she decided to arrive (he had a scheduled thing and would be at the place for a defined period of time, regardless of when she decided to come). Dude didn't know if he would come home or not, etc.

AND?!?...fine, I'm fine. I really LIKE being fine. (And I think the fact that he asked me the first time, and then followed through contributed to my current "fine-ness".)

I had a few moments of indecision: should I text him like I usually do? - when I am done with work and when I am home. Would I interrupt them? I decided that, since we hadn't made any other arrangements, that I would just do what I normally do. So I sent my usual "No reply needed" txt's at the intervals I usually do - "done doing P, going to do Q"... Each time, Dude responded by calling me - "We are here, doing x, then we are going to do y or z." "Have a good time." was my sincere response.

Haven't really had the wrap-up debriefing for this second date yet. She left before MrS picked Dude up. There may, or may not, have been sex involved. (Doesn't matter either way to me - except to confirm that IF there was sex involved, WAS a condom used per our agreements and did they have a safer sex/STI talk? - after we have been through this a few times I won't feel the need to ask, I just need to learn whether this is ingrained). Dude and MrS are at a movie and meeting up with some folks and will come home (IF they come home) after I am in bed.

I did see them both for a few minutes - after the date and before the movie (but in a location where we could not talk freely). No weird vibes from my end. We'll find out more later...


PS. My biggest fear, at this point, is that Dude will want to share "too much" information. He has no filters (what-so-ever). I don't need every detail - the broad picture is good enough.
It occurs to me...good thing this is my blog thread. Who the hell want's to listen to my "blow-by-blow" of each date my boyfriend goes on...? From the perspective of a non-involved party?

BTW - BP - I was thinking of you the other day, Dude was reading some "food-porn" out loud - the menu of a restaurant we are thinking checking out. MrS was all "stop torturing me if you aren't going to feed me...and I can't eat anyway" (he just had a tooth extraction). BDSM food-porn?

It occurs to me...good thing this is my blog thread. Who the hell want's to listen to my "blow-by-blow" of each date my boyfriend goes on...? From the perspective of a non-involved party?

I do! I do!
I do! I do!

Thanks Cleo!

Woke up this morning to no boys :cool: - but a missed call and a txt on my phone letting me know that they had met up with some friends from the music festival and where they were crashing for the night. This pattern pre-dates Dude and has nothing to do with his "date" - I want EITHER boy(s) in my bed when I wake up OR a message letting me know that you are OK and not coming home - otherwise I get anxious. (The ONE time this didn't happen MrS had wrecked his car so...)

So, quiet house to myself this morning - just me and the animals, and coffee, and the internet. Nice.

My husband's just starting to venture into the dating world, so I've been having similar "wonder how I'm going to react to this" feelings. So far so good here as well. Definitely interested in hearing how it progresses:).
De-briefing follow up. Got home late from work the next night and we all settled into our usual evening routine - each on our own computer, listening to music, and doing our own thing. After a little while I got up and kissed them goodnight and went to read in bed (working in the AM - had to get up early).

After a bit, Dude came and snuggled up against me for a few minutes and said "So do you want to hear about Jane2?"*. Hesitation (Am I ready to see how I respond to this? :rolleyes:). "Sure." He cuddles up with me..."Well, MrS dropped me off about the time that she was arriving and we all chatted for a bit, then MrS left to do his stuff, then we went inside and talked for a while, then we did x, then we did y, then we had the safer sex/STI talk and she told me p/d/q, and we talked about z. Then she said she wanted to have sex so we went up to bed and had sex...a couple of times.” >pause< I feel myself take a break to see if this disclosure makes me feel any different...It doesn't - *whew*! (I was pretty sure they had had sex, so this wasn't a real surprise.) >unpause< “Then we slept, then we woke up and fooled around. She left around noon to go take care of her cat and I slept for the rest of the afternoon until MrS picked me up.”

We cuddled for a bit and I told him that I HAD to know was that if they had sex, that they had used condoms, but I'm glad to know that they had a good time. We got up and went back out to the computers and I asked him if he wanted to read what I had written in my blog here. He did. When he got to this part:

PS. My biggest fear, at this point, is that Dude will want to share "too much" information. He has no filters (what-so-ever). I don't need every detail - the broad picture is good enough.

...he turned to me and asked. “So, did I do okay?” “Yes, sweetie, you did fine.”

The next day he asked me if I had posted to let you all know that he had done alright:p. It's a little late in coming but – now you know. He did fine.

They've been talking on the phone since then and tonight we (Dude, Jane2, MrS and I) all went out to dinner at a great restaurant in the city that none of us had been to before. Everything was good but some stuff was REALLY good (I wouldn't do it justice the way that BP would, so I won't try – BUT “sour cream ice cream” = YUM!). Enjoyable food, enjoyable company, enjoyable conversation. I didn't sense any awkwardness and everyone had a good time.

I don't know that Dude and Jane2 are going to hit it off, become friends or FWBs, or what. But she is a nice, comfortable, interesting person. She's poly-knowledgeable and poly-friendly but not certain if she is interested in being involved in a poly/open relationship again, and he's not real certain about the attraction level (I'm not getting NRE vibes). Whatever happens with them, I feel like I have learned something in the process.


*Funny coincidence but this girl and I share the same first name in real life. We (MrS and I) were teasing him that he was just trying to minimize the chances that he would get in trouble for calling someone the wrong name during an intimate moment.:p
It all sounds very relaxed.. I am happy for you!

Yowsa! So much has happened in August – hard to know where to start.

Dramatis Personae:

Old Characters:

Me, MrS and Dude – you already know (check sig for particulars)
MrClean – you might remember from such posts as "The MrClean Incident"and "A Night Out" (an update to those posts – he and his wife are in the process of divorcing – due to issues unrelated to those posts)
The Hippie-Freaks – (previously unnamed) basically the group of Dude's hometown friends that I met when we were "Coming Out...a little more."
Jane2 – Dude's second OKC date, starring in "Second Date - different chick" and "De-briefing".

New Characters: (coming up with four new aliases that I will remember is HARD...)

Gotsy – woman I met and messaged with on OKC
Abby – ah, you will have to read on....! >grin<
TBC – Abby's husband
Kola – Abby and TBC's girlfriend

The Background:

Dude has put himself in self-imposed quarantine for the month while he is undergoing a medical treatment (nothing serious, no worries – he just doesn't want to expose himself to infection...and he is coming home on Monday!). MrS has a few concerts/music events that he is planning on attending. I have been looking for other poly-bi-married women on OKC to talk to.

The Story: “How an introverted caterpillar gets cast in the role of social butterfly.”

Gotsy messages me on OKC – she is another poly-bi-married woman and happens to be fairly local. We chat. She is in a 6-7 person poly chain. She has a husband and a boyfriend. Her boyfriend has a wife, the wife has a boyfriend, etc. Her husband is dating but not in another relationship right now. There is a Meet-Up coming up soon...she invites me/us to attend with her/some of them. I was hoping that all three of us could go to a Meet-Up together, but...what the hell...I talk to the boys and RSVP for MrS and I to go. (For the record, this Meet-Up is not “poly-only” - a broader range of polys/swingers/kinksters attend).

The Meet-Up:

So MrS and I show up, Gotsy isn't there yet, we get food and drinks and MrS chats with some folks while I keep trying to re-swallow my pounding heart because there are SO MANY people I don't know. (Apparently this was a larger than usual turnout.) And, I am really worried that I won't recognize Gotsy (her OKC pics all look so different). The food was good – but I could barely eat, hadn't slept much in the last 24 hours, and was drinking way too fast. MrS kept feeding me oysters (isn't that supposed to be an aphrodisiac?)...

Gotsy arrives at the event. I DO recognize her (...and she recognizes me from a description of us I gave her – I don't have ID-able photos on OKC). We hug, we chat a bit, she introduces us to about 6-ba-jillion people that I won't remember. She excuses herself to go talk to some other folks for a bit. I take a deep breath....(whew). We socialize, MrS is his usual supportive loving self – initiating conversations, fetching drinks and food, drawing me into conversations. I drink a few more beers. I have to pee.

So, I am on my way back from the ladies room...and there is this woman sitting at the bar. (MrS is on the deck.) She looks at me. There are a few people between us. She is commenting to a guy that she is obviously there with. I lose sight of her. Some guy we talked to earlier says something to me. I might have said something back. People move. She is still looking at me. >something clicks< I find myself flowing into the space between her and her guy. “Hi.” I say. And then...

(story to be continued)

Really, that was cruel.

Details posthaste JQS!

(Now rant is over, it seems like things are exciting! Go you!)
Hey, get back here and finish your story, Ms. Jane!

What a cliffhanger!
Last edited:
The Meet-Up - Part 2

...and THEN... Wow!

I wish I could give you (and me!) a blow-by-blow description is all such a blur of talking and touching and skin and kissing and beer and ice and excitement. The following is my best reconstruction after interviewing the participants after the fact.


I learned her name. I learned that she is in a D/s relationship with her brand-new (less than 1 mos) husband. I am fascinated. I learned that they have a girlfriend (not present). I learned that her instructions for the evening were to wear no panties and a short dress but NO cleavage (SOOO frustrating – in a deliciously tantalizing way). I learned she kisses like MrS's ex and has tits like my VV...

At some point in my 'education' MrS wanders over to the bar. “Ah, I see you made yourself some friends...:D.” I detach my mouth from Abby's earlobe long enough to introduce them. “And this is ...Abby's husband.” He shakes my husband's hand. “I'm TBC...not that anyone is paying attention :p.” (From the man that has been whispering helpful suggestions in my ear for the last eternity as I attempt to seduce his wife...firmly wedged between her smooth thighs with his hand on my ass.)

We talk (all of us).. We drink (me more than them). There is kissing and fondling and ...we are in a public place! (Don't let your imaginations run wild, people, or do...a little bit :rolleyes:.) We give the new bartender some stories to tell...MrS comes to check on me and goes to chat with more people. “I see you are in “good hands”...:p.” I fail to realize that I am racking up quite the bar-tab with high-test beer (bad JaneQ...bad, naughty girl!;)).

At some point, I fail to realize that I am no longer registering the formation of new memories...(that's OK – MrS is there to make sure that I don't get raped or arrested...standard protocol when I go on one of my “hedonist benders”). Which is quite a shame...there's bits there that I'm sure I would re-play if I could remember them. I DO remember that when we took a break to order drinks and chat a bit more, that one of the attendees said something along the lines of: “Are you two going to be getting back to the kissing part? Some of us are really appreciating that...” I DON'T remember Abby's reply, but I DO remember that it was brilliant.

At some point she got up to use the WC and ...par for the course...I discovered that TBC is the PERFECT kissing height when you are as short as I am. (My boys are both so damn tall.) - and I really wish I remembered that part, 'cause I'm pretty sure it was as delightful as I imagine it was...Apparently, I pulled my “I'm so little and suddenly lonely and ...hey, you're cute.” routine.:eek:

At some point, the bar had to close and MrS managed to herd my drunken grinning self to the car and get me home (at which point he calls Dude to report that made a drunken ass out of myself but he managed to get 'McDrunky-Molests-a-lot' home in one piece...and that I had a really good time.)

Nobody seems to remember how I skinned my knee...
Last edited:
I enjoyed reading about your evening. Sounds totally great :D Would love to party with you, must be fun ;)

The last evening I wasn't able to remember completely was our eve-of-wedding-party. But there were so many fotos that I was able to piece everything together the next day :eek:
You sound like you had quite the night. :)

Yes, yes I did. I don't get out much. But when I do, I really make up for it :D!

I enjoyed reading about your evening. Sounds totally great :D Would love to party with you, must be fun ;)

Dear Phy - I'm glad you enjoyed it. If either of us cross the ocean I'd totally love to meet you and your guys. (And I'd like to to visit the local brothel - the concept fascinates me. I've only seen them fictionalized on TV. When I was in Germany - 20+ years ago - I missed the chance.)

Last edited:

So, I wake up the next morning feeling … GRAND! How is this possible?:confused: I should be suffering from a hell of a hangover (8% beers are NOT session beers ferchrisake) and instead my cheeks hurt from smiling and I'm feeling all wiggly.

MrS wakes up and I grill him for details. Groan...Way to make a first impression, JaneQ, you drunken slut. :rolleyes: Grrrr... WAIT?! Did anyone exchange contact info?! MrS tells me that Abby told him she'd get my OKC name from Gotsy. I go to work. I come home. I get on my computer. Joy! An OKC message from Abby.:)

I'm on the computer writing to Abby (yum!) and Gotsy on OKC (thanking her for convincing me to come to the meet-up). I post to the Meet-Up page. MrS is on the phone with Dude: “Yeah, she feels fine, she's online writing her mea culpa letters...”

I talk to Dude later that night. He is doing okay but starting to feel the effects of two weeks of isolation. He has been messaging/talking with a few women from OKC and spending many hours on the phone with Jane2.

I briefly consider keeping my opinions to myself – but remember that he was hurt when he learned that I saw the train-wreck of CrazyGirl coming and didn't warn him because I thought it was “none of my business”. I gently point out that he has decided that he is not interested in this girl romantically, but talking on the phone with her 4-8 hours a day may be sending a different message (Dude misses a lot of social cues :cool:). He feels that they are on the same page, but agrees that it is a good idea to double-check explicitly. (He does, they are – two smart, interesting, chatty people who like to talk to each other – great!.)

Meanwhile on OKC, I hear back from Gotsy and Abby. Gotsy is glad I had a good time and thrilled that I hit it off with Abby (and TBC). She mentioned an upcoming event and asked if the three of us (me, MrS, Dude) might be attending. Abby writes me back and says that she and TBC and their girlfriend are going to a kink picnic (a similarly mixed poly/swinger/kinkster event) the next weekend. Would I be interested in attending? (Hell, YES! - if you are going to be there luscious...:p)

I say I'll look into it...
Last edited:
Aside...OMG, I sooooo need to get back and finish the story but life keeps going on-and-on ... and the story gets longer-and-longer. Suffice it to say: I'm loving life right now and and the boys are doing fine!
The Picnic

So... I...created a FetLife profile, (I've been avoiding doing this because I don't see myself as particularly “kinky”), and RSVP to the picnic. NEITHER of my boys are available to accompany me! Woe is me – what is a girl to do?! MrS is going to a show with The Hippie-Freaks and Dude is in self-quarantine. In a fit of genius (and desperation – I soooo want to see this girl again) I know - I'll ask MrClean to be my “minder”/driver for the day (he happens to live about 2 minutes from the venue). He agrees (and has a brief talk with MrS about what is expected of him).

We arrive at the picnic and I am nervous/shy/scared. We spread our blanket and I dive into the beer we brought (Does anyone notice a pattern here? I have to get over this.). I don't see my people for a while and try to relax into “people-watching” mode. I finally spot TBC – but the girl he is snuggling with is not Abby (I suspect it may be the, as yet unnamed, shared girlfriend). He gives me an adorable raised eyebrow – which I acknowledge and then turn away. (I'm not least until Abby is on the scene.)

MrClean asks me if I want him to approach TBC and initiate conversation. I need to settle for a bit. We chat and people watch. Out of the corner of my eye I watch TBC get up and go over to a girl in the “cigar circle” - Aha! There is Abby. After speaking with her for a few minutes TBC comes by and we chat for a second and he notes that the next round of food is coming off the grill. We go get food and, as we head to our blanket, he invites us to come share theirs. We eat and I send MrClean off to grab our stuff and join our blanket/cooler with theirs. We make our introductions with Kola (the shared girlfriend) and drink and eat. After a bit, Abby joins us. At first she doesn't seem to notice us...and I worry that she doesn't recognize me. Then we start up a conversation and I relax...

I spend the next several hours with my butt planted firmly in their blanket territory with a few forays out into the rest of the kinky picnic. Drinking. Talking. Flirting. At some point MrClean wanders off and I find him by the grappling mat. He stands with his arms around me...while TBC fondles my thigh (or tries to … my car keys are in my pocket and in the way). I stop at some point to watch some rope-play (after asking permission) – and find myself with my wrists bound to some (hot, sexy, quivering) chick's harness – what's a girl to do except roll with the moment and suspend her from my forearms between my legs? (So hot!)

People stop by the blanket. We chat. Some folks I recognized from the meet-up. One asks my name for the human scavenger hunt (as a “mischief maker” - others agree >grin<). I explain that my boys are not available – so MrClean had to step in as my “minder”/chauffer/chaperone/boy toy. Are there “rules”? Not really. His job is to see to it that I: a.) don't get arrested, b.) don't get raped, and c.) only go home with him. A few hours in, he has to go check-in with his soon-to-be-ex and their kids. We agree that I am not likely to get arrested or raped and make arrangements for either TBC/Abby/Kola to drop me off at his place OR he will come and get me. He mentions that he has a pool and invites us/them back if they are interested. (Kola puts his info in her phone...just in case.)

More drinking/flirting ensue. It starts to get dark. The picnic starts to clear out. I drop by the rope-folks blanket again and just HAVE to tug on her new (rough rope, breast bondage) set-up with my teeth. (Again, after asking permission.) This leads to some nuzzling, kissing, etc. (“Not on the lips.” he says...more on this later*.) We pack up. MrClean calls – should he pick me up? I tell him we are heading to his place. Be prepared. We arrive at MrClean's a few minutes later and skinny-dipping in his pool ensues for the next several hours. (I could go on and on about this part was every bit as enjoyable as you think it was!)

Abby/TBC/Kola have to leave...they have plans for the AM. I'm spending the night at MrClean's. We are on the couch nuzzling and cuddling and I tell him: “I want to play with you and kiss you and cuddle you. But we are NOT having sex.” (I actually discussed this with MrS and Dude beforehand...but this is MY decision. I don't think that this would be a good thing for MrClean. He is looking for something other than what I have to offer – he is a monogamist at heart.. BUT, he has been crushing on me for a long while...which might over-ride his ideals. MrS said: “I agree. But if you DO have sex, remember to use condoms.”) MrClean's response?: “Well, THAT is certainly straight-forward.” We go to bed, we fool around, we do not have sex. In the morning, I wake up and drive home.

I am grinning yet again....
Last edited: