Things are going well

P

PanPoly^3

New member
My bf and I are poly, but have been in a monogamous relationship for 8 months. And we have both caught feelings for a girl and because of a mutual friend I know they feel the same about us. At this point it's just a matter of time until we're all dating? I'm just really happy and excited for all of this!

Context: I'm trans ftm, my bf is a cis guy, and the girl is a demigirl. I'm 18 next month, bf is 17 in June, and she is already 18. We all identify as pan.
 
If you're 18 but know you're poly, I assume you know that when you're trying to form a triad, there are several dyads, all of which have needs of their own?

A+B
A+C
B+C

If you're A, B is your partner and your metamour. C is your partner and your metamour. C is B's partner and metamour and vice versa.

Each dyad needs to be nurtured individually, on dates, in bed. It can't be all three all the time, or worse: you and B can have sex/dates one-on-one, but C can only have sex/dates with both of you at once, never one-on-one.

All these parts need to be in balance. C may or may not like you as much as she likes B, or the other way around. And maybe you (A) will be more interested in C than B is (eventually), or vice versa.

What if you all get along for a month, but then you and C break up? Will B need to break up with her too, or would you survive the rejection and be fine seeing her dating your partner?
 
Hello PanPoly^3,

It sounds like things are going really well for you at this time, I am excited for you that you have prospects with this new girl. As you said, it's just a matter of time. In the meantime, keep learning all you can about poly and how it works, best practices, etc.

Welcome to our forum.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Magdlyn said:
If you're 18 but know you're poly, I assume you know that when you're trying to form a triad, there are several dyads, all of which have needs of their own?

A+B
A+C
B+C

If you're A, B is your partner and your metamour. C is your partner and your metamour. C is B's partner and metamour and vice versa.

Each dyad needs to be nurtured individually, on dates, in bed. It can't be all three all the time, or worse: you and B can have sex/dates one-on-one, but C can only have sex/dates with both of you at once, never one-on-one.

All these parts need to be in balance. C may or may not like you as much as she likes B, or the other way around. And maybe you (A) will be more interested in C than B is (eventually), or vice versa.

What if you all get along for a month, but then you and C break up? Will B need to break up with her too, or would you survive the rejection and be fine seeing her dating your partner?
Click to expand...
I have thought of almost all of this but the breaking up part. I'll make sure we all have a talk once we start dating. Healthy and positive communication, is like my actual favorite thing and it comes in super handy when dealing with any relationship. Thanks for the reply!
 
PanPoly^3 said:
My bf and I are poly, but have been in a monogamous relationship for 8 months. And we have both caught feelings for a girl and because of a mutual friend I know they feel the same about us. At this point it's just a matter of time until we're all dating? I'm just really happy and excited for all of this!

Context: I'm trans ftm, my bf is a cis guy, and the girl is a demigirl. I'm 18 next month, bf is 17 in June, and she is already 18. We all identify as pan.
Click to expand...
Update!
We asked her out on a date this morning and she said yes! We still have to figure out what we're doing and when but she said yes! Happy Valentines y'all!
 
Awwww, that's great that she said yes to your invite. I hope you have a wonderful time with her.
 
Hi guys! Been a minute since the last update!
The date was a while ago, but since then we decided that we’re making it official. We still have to have a sit down talk about everything, but that’ll happen ASAP.
I’m missing them both rn, I’ve got sick right after they were both sick and haven’t seen them in a while.
 
Sounds like your date went well, congrats on making it official. I hope the three of you will have good health in the near future, and that you can all get together again!
 
PanPoly^3 said:
Hi guys! Been a minute since the last update!
The date was a while ago, but since then we decided that we’re making it official. We still have to have a sit down talk about everything, but that’ll happen ASAP.
I’m missing them both rn, I’ve got sick right after they were both sick and haven’t seen them in a while.
Click to expand...
Are you saying you are now an official triad after just one date?

I hope you feel better soon.
 
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