Hey everybody,
this is Katja writing. I live in Essen, which is part of the so called Ruhrgebiet located in North Rhine Westfalia, Germany.
I found this page while searching for a chat on polyamory. As I couldn‘t find any German page now I‘m here and this is my story:
Not long ago my best friends husband and me discovered that we are in love. We spoke avout our feelings openly - among each other and with my friend. First she decided NO in a relationship between the three of us. As she saw how much it hurted us she wanted to give us a chance to try. But she couldn‘t cope with her feelings of jealucy, fear of loss... and after only three days ended the trial. After talking to a systemic therapist she says that she won‘t decide anything before she feels that she is able to do so. For me this means whaiting.
It‘s quite hard because both of them were close friends almost like family to me. I fear losing them, I fight with my feelings for him which I can nither neglect not give. For me (and him) its clear that they as a couple will not part. And we won‘t do anything that hurts her. But nervertheless we are in Love. It hurts. I have no idea what to do. Should I stay and give her time? Should I go to protect myself? Is there any chance she will learn to share her husband?
If anyone who reads this has advice or is/was in a similar situation please let me know.
this is Katja writing. I live in Essen, which is part of the so called Ruhrgebiet located in North Rhine Westfalia, Germany.
I found this page while searching for a chat on polyamory. As I couldn‘t find any German page now I‘m here and this is my story:
Not long ago my best friends husband and me discovered that we are in love. We spoke avout our feelings openly - among each other and with my friend. First she decided NO in a relationship between the three of us. As she saw how much it hurted us she wanted to give us a chance to try. But she couldn‘t cope with her feelings of jealucy, fear of loss... and after only three days ended the trial. After talking to a systemic therapist she says that she won‘t decide anything before she feels that she is able to do so. For me this means whaiting.
It‘s quite hard because both of them were close friends almost like family to me. I fear losing them, I fight with my feelings for him which I can nither neglect not give. For me (and him) its clear that they as a couple will not part. And we won‘t do anything that hurts her. But nervertheless we are in Love. It hurts. I have no idea what to do. Should I stay and give her time? Should I go to protect myself? Is there any chance she will learn to share her husband?
If anyone who reads this has advice or is/was in a similar situation please let me know.