Threesome continuous

[Titanic74]

My wife and I have been married 16yrs. We had our first ever 3sum with her friend of nearly 8yrs about a month ago. This gap friend is a mutual friend if ours. The friend has been in guy and gal relationships. She is younger than us. But was always attracted to my wife. About month and half ago she expressed an interest in a 3sum with us. My wife was first like no I'm not bisexual. I was ok with it of course I'm a man they say. So we got a hotel room with a hot tub and checked in then had dinner together. Wanting go for drinks later in evening. We tried figuring something else out to do for several hours but ended up back at hotel. My suggestion of course was hot tub then 3sum then bar. Lol. So that's what we did. It was very fun for all us and we all had a good time. We did everything that came to mind for over 2hrs. My wife's only restriction was I could not freak the other gal the first time. Which the gal and I both agreed to. Me and the gal really concentrated on making sure my wife had a very goid time. There were no other restrictions except all agreed no anal play at all. We were all little nervous but it did go well. We ended and cleaned up. Went to the bar for some drinks. Came back and played again for several hours. Spent the nite together. Took the gal home after breakfast the next morning. The gal did tell us she is hard to achieve orgasm. She said she did a little but not like really wanted. Lol. My wife and I totally orgasm my wife many many times.
We have all been doing a 3way text msg about anything under the sun from daily life to sex. The gal spent the nite at our house 2 weeks ago but we just cuddled. Sure we been to dinner and stuff couple times since then but that's our normal behavior with her.
My wife tells me now I can freak her if I want. So last Friday she spent the nite our house again. Well we got into it all hit and heavy again all enjoying each other. So the gal was on her hands and knees taking care of my wife. So I got being the gal. Knowing she had only ever sexually been with 1 guy ever I decided to apply some lube. And she perked her ads right up to receive me in her. I slowly slid into her taking time to not force something unwanted. She definitely wanted. I had to do much if nothing as she was working my wife she was thrusting against me. Did not last long before I climaxed my wife told me next day the the gal really liked it cause she almost stopped working her. Wife was surprised by herself not freaking out or not knowing it was going happen then. But was ok with it. Well the gal had no problem orgasm that nite. My wife and I have since talked and decided we want again. The friend definitely does she was 3way text next day how freaking horny she was and that feeling was really absolutely new for her. She never really been like that. So my wife asks or gal asks wife I don't really know cause that was
A pm message about my entrance into her. She really freaking liked it and wanted make sure my wife was ok with it if not didn't need happen no more. My wife is ok. So looks like we will all be doing this 3sum very soon again for 3rd time.
So my question this will be out 3rd threesome with same gal and we are still very intimate as a couple also. The gal knows that and is totally understanding of it. So do we just continue to call it 3sum or are we venturing into new territory. We both admit we have an emotional connection with this gal but we only love each other. So is it just random 3sum or more??

 

[Evie]

I'd personally say a label isn't necessary, but others would recommend having a clear vocabulary that means that expectations are managed all around.

You are now all "fluid bonded" so I'm hoping your sexual health status is healthy and known to all. You might consider having agreements in place about information sharing/protection (eg condoms) if anyone wants to exchange fluids with someone outside your threesome.

So you may want to consider being a polyfidelitous triad (sex isn't shared outside the triad) or maybe Gal still wants to date other people, or will do in a few months time.

It's lovely you have an emotional connection between all three of you. This isn't something that can be managed the same way sexual health can so please don't try to make any rules around it like "don't fall in love". That probably means slightly different things to each of you anyway. If you or Wife decide you can't live without Gal as a very important part of your life, and Gal feels the same, then you can talk about what that will look like. Gal might develop a stronger connection with one of you than the other. It's common but not the end of the world. It doesn't mean you have to separate so one of you can be exclusively with Gal. You get to design what your relationships look like. That's one of the nice parts of non monogamy.

Enjoy what's happening. Have fun. Care for each other. Take each day as it comes. And spend time both in and out of the bedroom. It reads like you're doing all of these things anyway.

Keep asking Wife and Gal their opinions and wants rather than guessing. If you want a label, choose it as a group. Poly-fi triad for sex, but just friends in general, dating but not exclusive, FWB (don't assume this is exclusive), triad relationship, hinged relationship with group sex sometimes, or unicorn ranchers (you may have to Google that one). Understand that sometimes Gal might want to have 1-1 sex with either of you (like you do/can with each other). This doesn't have to be a threat to the other if you don't let it. It she may not. Just keep talking/asking each other about stuff. When I was in Gal's shoes with a married couple, I liked the 1-1 time as much as the group time. It brought me closer to both people and them to me.

Whatever you run with, don't imagine it's set in stone. It may change next week/month/year.

All the best

Evie

 

[kdt26417]

Hello Titanic74,

It sounds like you and your wife are good friends with this other woman, maybe it is a FWB type of thing. If it gets more emotionally involved, and the two of you are in love with her, then it is more like a poly triad. For now I would suggest don't rush or force anything, just let things develop as they will and get together as a threesome if/when you all want to. Also don't be closed to the idea of your friend being with just one of you at a time, presumably you and your wife have one-on-one time together, and your friend should have that opportunity too.

I'm glad to hear you guys are getting along well.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.

 

[lunabunny]

To answer your question... it depends what you WANT it to be.

Not ONLY you, of course... but all three of you. Firstly, you each need to think about how you feel and what you want the future to look like... then you'll have to compare notes to see if you're all on the same page.

This will necessitate an honest discussion between yourself, wife and friend.

If you suspect emotions are becoming involved, I'd have this discussion sooner rather than later, so none of you continues to develop deep affection or more for a person who may not reciprocate it. (i.e. The friend may only want occasional threesomes/sex, while you or wife might be falling in love... or vice versa.)