Time to Take a Leap

NotPetunias

NotPetunias

New member
Hi, everyone. I am a 29 year old woman living in the US. I have been in my current relationship for nearly ten years. My partner was always very transparent that they are poly. In the beginning, they had relationships with other people but would always find a reason to shut down me having any. We're in a much healthier place now, but now I worry that I'm too scared to try. I've realized that I'm nearly 30 and have never really dated.
 
NotPetunias said:
Hi, everyone. I am a 29 year old woman living in the US. I have been in my current relationship for nearly ten years. My partner was always very transparent that they are poly. In the beginning, they had relationships with other people but would always find a reason to shut down me having any. We're in a much healthier place now, but now I worry that I'm too scared to try. I've realized that I'm nearly 30 and have never really dated.
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Welcome! You don't have to have dated to get to know others -- you just have to meet them and get to know them. What scares you about trying other relationships, now that your partner has stopped thwarting you?
 
A lot actually. There are plenty of irrational fears that I mostly have a handle on, but most of it comes down to the fear of the unknown and the fear of being vulnerable.
 
NotPetunias said:
A lot actually. There are plenty of irrational fears that I mostly have a handle on, but most of it comes down to the fear of the unknown and the fear of being vulnerable.
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I hear you. We're all quite vulnerable when opening ourselves to relationship possibilities.
 
Greetings NotPetunias,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I'm glad you and your partner are in a healthier place now. It seems that some fears built themselves up in you, back while your partner was shutting you down. Sort of like you absorbed his reservations, and lost your self-confidence. This would be a subconscious process, of course. Give yourself some time. I think many of your fears will subside after a while. Don't be afraid to date a little. Dating a little may help you come to be less afraid.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

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Welcome aboard!
 
NotPetunias said:
A lot actually. There are plenty of irrational fears that I mostly have a handle on, but most of it comes down to the fear of the unknown and the fear of being vulnerable.
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Yes, everyone goes through it. I'm new in the online scene too. Have had experience with people I know but online is a different animal.
 
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