Triad questions

[rokku]

I wasn't quite sure what to type in the search area to see if my questions were asked before.

You know how, in the beginning of a mono relationship, you become closer over time while dating, things become more personal and intimate. Hugs become kisses, and so on and so on. How does that work when there are 3 people involved? How and when does it stop being friendship and becoming a relationship, without sex being involved?

 

[DrunkenPorcupine]

You know how in the beginning of a mono relationship, you become closer over time while dating, things become more personal and intimate. Hugs become kisses, and so on and so on. How does that work when there are 3 people in involved?

It works the same way. I'm an individualist. To me, there's no three-party relationship, there are multiple individual relationships. Each person thinks and feels independently, and has different boundaries that need to be respected by each person, regardless of how many people are in someone's circle of love.

How and when does it stop being friendship to becoming a relationship, without sex being involved?

This is something I've been... not "struggling" with, but pondering on. On the other hand, I don't think any classification exactly fits the intricacies that come about when two people relate. I personally feel no need to make the distinction between those I love just because I happen to have or not have sex with them.

Every relationship evolves, and I don't like barring that evolution by labeling.

 

[crisare]

How and when does it stop being friendship to becoming a relationship without sex being involved?

This is something I've been... not "struggling" with, but pondering on. On the other hand, I don't think any classification exactly fits the intricacies that come about when two people relate.

This is also a bit of a recent issue for me. My bf and I broke up earlier this summer, and just lately I've been ready to maybe start seeing someone else. But I'm finding it difficult. My relationship with my bf developed over time. We were friends for many years, then segued into a closer relationship, and finally became lovers. It wasn't something we necessarily sought from each other from the beginning. However, meeting people now... I've met up with a few men from a dating site. You know going into it that you're looking for a "relationship," more than just a friendship, and including sex at some point (but not right away). I'm still feeling a sense of forced artificiality to the encounters. And I'm finding a lot of guys who want to jump right into the "let's have sex" part, and that's just not what I'm looking for.

I really enjoyed my last relationship, and I think I'm struggling with how to find that again, without, of course, being so silly as to compare current to past.

That didn't really answer your question, but there you have my perspective, for what it's worth.

 

[redpepper]

You know how in the beginning of a mono relationship, you become closer over time while dating, things become more personal and intimate. Hugs become kisses and so on and so on. How does that work when there are 3 people in involved? How and when does it stop being friendship to becoming a relationship, without sex being involved?

I'm not sure I understand the question. It sounds like you are wanting to force things, or have a formula to make it happen, or something.

It just happens when the time is right with the right person, or persons, just as any romantic relationship does.

Am I getting the question? Maybe you could ask it a different way? Or did I get it?

 

[rokku]

This is the first time my boyfriend and I have met someone that we want to bring into our relationship. We've both known him the same amount of time and planned on getting to know him even more before we asked him to join our relationship. From what I noticed from other couples, it usually starts off as a sexual relationship, then grows or ends quickly after that. I don't want it to start off sexual at all, even though I know it could.

I've also noticed when it's one-on-one the relationship stops becoming equal.

Actually, I just realized that this is something that I can't really plan out. Whatever happens just happens. I think I just wanted to control the situation so everything would work out the way I wanted. But I realize this isn't something that I can control.

I'll keep you guys updated on how things are going.