zigzag
New member
As one side of a V, after many years of monogamy I feel I have coped really well with my wifes journey into polyamory. I feel I have, with the help of this site, and Franklin Veaux's book, been on top of emotions and managed things that have blindsided me. But two situations have occured that have worried me.
I have been comfortable with my SO having sex and spending the night with her OSO, and even all 3 of us spending the weekend together but her sleeping with him. Her OSO is also a good friend.
However on 3 occasions when me, my wife and her OSO have attended larger social gatherings such as parties I have found myself becoming increasingly irritated and very angry at them both as the evening wears on. In smaller groups it is not a problem, its the party ones that are. His stories and conversation suddenly irritate me, and her laughing at them and joining in makes me angry. They are not "out" amongst our immediate community. I can manage these emotions internally and nobody else, other than my wife, notices how I feel, they probably justthink I am a bit quiet. What I am struggling to work out is why when I have no problem with my wife being intimate with her OSO am I struggling when they are not being intimate but just at the same social function.
The other emotion is even more difficult. I have on several occasions gone to sleep quite happily but woken suddenly in the night immediately angry at my wife for no reason and it takes me an hour or so to calm down, realise the anger is unfounded etc. This happens regardless whether she is sleeping with me or him. Its as if my subconscious is fighting with more relaxed conscious.
Just interested if anyone else has experienced anything like these.
I have been comfortable with my SO having sex and spending the night with her OSO, and even all 3 of us spending the weekend together but her sleeping with him. Her OSO is also a good friend.
However on 3 occasions when me, my wife and her OSO have attended larger social gatherings such as parties I have found myself becoming increasingly irritated and very angry at them both as the evening wears on. In smaller groups it is not a problem, its the party ones that are. His stories and conversation suddenly irritate me, and her laughing at them and joining in makes me angry. They are not "out" amongst our immediate community. I can manage these emotions internally and nobody else, other than my wife, notices how I feel, they probably justthink I am a bit quiet. What I am struggling to work out is why when I have no problem with my wife being intimate with her OSO am I struggling when they are not being intimate but just at the same social function.
The other emotion is even more difficult. I have on several occasions gone to sleep quite happily but woken suddenly in the night immediately angry at my wife for no reason and it takes me an hour or so to calm down, realise the anger is unfounded etc. This happens regardless whether she is sleeping with me or him. Its as if my subconscious is fighting with more relaxed conscious.
Just interested if anyone else has experienced anything like these.