"Polyamorous" people looking for bisexual females willing to be exclusive to their couples are misrepresenting polyamory. They're usually trying to save a failing relationship by introducing another person which is not real polyamory. It's sexist and unfair for the man to be non monogamous but require the women to be monogamous. It's treating bisexuals as sex toys rather than people. These are the same people who will go back to monogamy after realizing polyamory didn't fix their relationships.
Unicorn hunters
- Thread starter Isaiah990
- Start date
MOD NOTE: The vehement, generalised, and undeveloped opinions of this thread's OP do not represent the community of polyamory.com as a whole.
Whilst unicorn hunting is a term that often describes naive and problematic behaviours, there are nuances that cannot be summarised in one short post.
Furthermore, MFF closed triads are as valid of a form as any other way of practicing polyamory.
Whilst unicorn hunting is a term that often describes naive and problematic behaviours, there are nuances that cannot be summarised in one short post.
Furthermore, MFF closed triads are as valid of a form as any other way of practicing polyamory.
This does not offer any new or useful insights, nor is it asking a question. Why did you post this?
Marcus
Well-known member
Polyamory at it's core is just having (or the ability to have) multiple romantic associations simultaneously.
If two people decide they want to have a romantic association with a third... poof! they are polyamorous.
There is no requirement to be a good representative of polyamory, it isn't a club with rules and elected leaders.
I might not love how they do it or what their configuration looks like, but it doesn't change the reality that they are polyamorous. That's what a discussion forum is for, they can express their views and I can express my disagreement (if that's the case).
SEASONEDpolyAgain
Well-known member
I'm guessing the OP has run into people who suspect them of being UHs
It would be nice if OP would answer the question, but thank you for your guess all the same.
Inaniel
Well-known member
This is the bit I find confusing. Is this sort of behavior typical in unicorn hunting?
SEASONEDpolyAgain
Well-known member
Some say that a true UH is seeking a closed triad so I'm guessing so. Of course this assumes.that everyone is aware the relationship between the wife and the unicorn is a farce.
Inaniel
Well-known member
Farce or not, if the wife is having sex with the unicorn that is some sort of non-manogomy.
SEASONEDpolyAgain
Well-known member
I agree. But the people who say UH are not poly argue that the farce invalidates the NM from being poly. Furthermore, it stops the NM being ENM.
Yes, how many unicorn hunting couples do you know are looking for a bisexual male?
We are actively looking for a female to join our relationship and my wife doesn't have any sexual interest at the moment but wants the emotional connection. Together we form a good partner for the other individual. Not interested in casual or one nighters. But while looking we call it hunting lol how is this not poly?
AlwaysGrowing
Well-known member
Unicorn hunting is often done unethically making it not polyamory. If it's ethical, it's poly.
Do a site search for Unicorn hunting, and you'll find many many resources on the pitfalls of hunting. In general, having a specific role planned for a person without input from that person is going to end up with one or more heartaches. Couples tend to treat the Unicorn as disposable, a bandaid for an already unhealthy dynamic, a sex toy, or some other item instead of an actual autonomous person.
Why do you want a female to join the relationship? Would you be ok with your wife seeking other men? If not, why not?
No because it's not what she wants or what I want. We are both very clear on the type of relationship we want to try to form.
Personally, I think men are disgusting pigs and women are meant to be worshiped.
AlwaysGrowing
Well-known member
Good to know that you consider yourself a disgusting pig.
It's that "clarity" that tends to make unicorn hunting toxic, BTW. You're not leaving room for an actual human to have actual opinions.
My first girlfriend, R, started in college when I was a junior. I had a crush on her right away but she would up going out with another guy who started in the same year as me who was really cool and also became my friend. I think R had a very high libido and probably would have had sex with me even more often than I wanted it if she could have.
He broke up with R late in the spring semester and around that time I met a unicorn hunter, H.
There was something "off" about H and his wife. To my eye, H was a little ugly and his wife was uglier. His wife didn't speak a lot and seemed smaller than H (usually the wife is smaller than the husband but I perceived it more strongly.) H used the pronoun "we" a lot.
He talked about his unicorn hunting a lot: he came around to my office and told me all about it, came back and wanted to talk about it some more. I guess he felt he had to cast a really wide net to find elusive unicorns.
I don't think I ever met any man who was as constantly chatting up women as much as H. Like a pick-up artist he had to make a staggering number of approaches to occasionally get what he wanted.
H recruited R as a unicorn for a while and I think that lasted a few months. H probably knew I had a crush on R and he would talk to me about how sexually responsive she was. I found out he was right after she started going out with me.
He broke up with R late in the spring semester and around that time I met a unicorn hunter, H.
There was something "off" about H and his wife. To my eye, H was a little ugly and his wife was uglier. His wife didn't speak a lot and seemed smaller than H (usually the wife is smaller than the husband but I perceived it more strongly.) H used the pronoun "we" a lot.
He talked about his unicorn hunting a lot: he came around to my office and told me all about it, came back and wanted to talk about it some more. I guess he felt he had to cast a really wide net to find elusive unicorns.
I don't think I ever met any man who was as constantly chatting up women as much as H. Like a pick-up artist he had to make a staggering number of approaches to occasionally get what he wanted.
H recruited R as a unicorn for a while and I think that lasted a few months. H probably knew I had a crush on R and he would talk to me about how sexually responsive she was. I found out he was right after she started going out with me.