unsure if i should call myself poly??

C

cuttlebird

New member
If I'm hypothetically okay with having multiple romantic relationships, does that mean it's okay to call myself poly?? I've never dated anyone before. I'm demipansexual and so far I've only had fictional crushes to work off of when it comes to determining my feelings. But when the time comes for when I'm interested in a real person, I'm not sure what to tell them. I dont want to lie by omission!

(Maybe I should just say that I have poly tendencies??)
 
If someone asks there is no need to label it poly. Just tell them you are open and interested in loving relationships with others and the terms of those relationships are determined on a case by case basis. Do you have a partner already? Are they consenting to it?
 
graviton said:
If someone asks there is no need to label it poly. Just tell them you are open and interested in loving relationships with others and the terms of those relationships are determined on a case by case basis. Do you have a partner already? Are they consenting to it?
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I have a quasiplatonic partner who is asexual and aromantic. So we're emotionally intimate--but I guess I'm single?? She doesn't care about me having other qp's let alone dating anyone.
 
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"I am okay with having multiple romantic relationships" works.

So does calling it "polyamory" if that is what you mean. (vs poly sexual.)

Really it is up to you how you want to call it.

Galagirl
 
Hi cuttlebird,

Some people consider poly an internal orientation, others consider it a description of one's external circumstances (via one's life choices). I think it can be either depending on context.

Re (from OP):
"Maybe I should just say that I have poly tendencies?"
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Perfect.
 
If I'm hypothetically okay with having multiple romantic relationships, does that mean it's okay to call myself poly?? I've never dated anyone before.
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I was once in this situation, and decided to call myself poly. Had some anxieties about it, because being labeled as "poly" felt important to me and then I was unsure whether it was okay to "steal" the label from the "real" polys who were living polyamorously. Ah well, how unnecessary! :eek:

But when the time comes for when I'm interested in a real person, I'm not sure what to tell them. I dont want to lie by omission!
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I did tell everyone I dated about only wanting open or polyamorous relationships - and still ended up misunderstood most times. Thus, I would advice you to try to describe what "being poly" means to you rather than using the word "polyamory". As a single person it is hard. So many people just assume that since you are single and dating you are looking for a mono relationship, and that the "open relationship" is just a phase in the beginning before real commitment.
 
Nadya said:
I did tell everyone I dated about only wanting open or polyamorous relationships - and still ended up misunderstood most times. Thus, I would advice you to try to describe what "being poly" means to you rather than using the word "polyamory". As a single person it is hard. So many people just assume that since you are single and dating you are looking for a mono relationship, and that the "open relationship" is just a phase in the beginning before real commitment.
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yeah that's what i keep worrying about! I'll try that. I'm sure that if whoever i'm interested in cares enough, they'd listen.
 
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