Welp Here I Am.

SomeBigGuyInTexas

SomeBigGuyInTexas

New member
So let me start off by saying this is all new ish to me. I had a marrige go to poop because she fell in love and left me for my best friend. It happens i dont hold anger because of it. Now with my new wife we have had an open relationship for a few years. We were with another couple where the woman of the couple fell in love with me. I was npt open to that and things ended for all of us on a rocky note. Fast forward about 6 months. My wife starts going to the movies with a mutual friend of ours. Just as friends. Well they spend some time together and now they are in a relationship. It doesnt bother me and i am honestly happy with the way all this is going. I only seem to get insecure on nights were i dont have some one to lay next to or even talk to. She has started staying at his house, which i fully support. we just havent had this where she goes and i am not with some one. Im not on here looking for pity just understanding and wanting to speak to others in a poly relationship to put both my mind and her mind at ease. She is constantly doubting herself and thinking that she is in the wrong for loving some one else. so any open discussion would be welcome. :D
 
Greetings SomeBigGuyInTexas,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I'd be glad to talk with you about your poly situation, and I can imagine it must be difficult being alone at night. Whether you need advice or just a listening ear I am here. I'll be following the intro board, so you can ping me on this thread at any time.

It's good to have you here.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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Welcome aboard!
 
Hi Big Guy

It's hard being alone at night when you're in a relationship that usually means you're not, I'm sure the majority in timeshare or LDR would agree with you. Hell, before I was even LDR, my hubby would head off hiking overnight or two and I'd feel quite bored and lonely. I would have thought that by the time I got to this age I'd be quite capable of amusing myself for a night or two!

I've noticed that even though I can feel that way on those nights where I have no contact with hubby, they don't become memories or problems.

OK, so when he's hiking, I don't get insecure that he's "going to choose her over me" rather that he's going to fall/freeze/get swept away.

And so I trust his hiking buddies to get themselves all back in one piece (even if it's just two of them).

And I trust myself and any lovers I have to get me back to him in one piece if I've spent time with them.

And if he ever wants to date separately, then I trust his honesty (with her) and his judge of character that she will return him in one piece too hehe.

Evie
 
Thank you all for the warm welcome. It is not that i dont trust her, we have known each other since we were 15, I just get lonely is all i guess. hard to sleep alone when you arent worth it. She encourages me to get out there and meet people, but i find it hard because of my size (6'11 300 lbs) im a large awkward person :p . But i know it will all get better.
 
Hi Big Guy (wow, 6'11, and not a rake; awesome!)

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you and your wife didn't have trust in your relationship, I was simply thinking "out loud" about what works for me and why my loneliness doesn't tend to escalate and return upon waking.

I sometimes wish I could still get engrossed in books to while away the hours, but nothing's grabbing my attention at the moment. I'll often end up down the youtube rabbit hole, or occasionally the redtube one haha.

all the best
Evie
 
yea i find myself lurking the sites at night also, or playing a game or something, just random stuff to keep my mind busy. And no one a bean pole. im a big guy, who happens to hail from texas. ^^^ lol
 
*checks time in Texas* :)

I'm in New Zealand.
 
We've had a heat wave here in Washington too.

It sounds like you've got the right idea; look for stuff to occupy your mind.
 
There have been times I've spent evenings alone.

At first it was a little difficult (but not overwhelmingly so), but I came to realize the silver linings.

I hope you find someone you can occupy your time with during her outings. Until then, consider it YOU TIME...

  • Alone time is great for meditation, introspection and relaxation
  • It helps you realize/remember how much your spouse means to you
  • You can work on personal projects without significant interruption
  • Good for organizing your thoughts, priorities and making plans

You might be able to think of more benefits
 
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