there IS a "right" and a "wrong"
There is law, yes, but that's another matter.
The ultimate question I present to you is this. "Who decides?" In the end we only decide for ourselves. And even then there's still reasons and ultimately it might not even be a decision at all despite best efforts to change a situation. There's also what's harmful and counterproductive and what gets positive results too. But everyone struggles. Everyone also has "good intention" that can be easily confused with "Knowing better for them" (trust me, it's a common mistake in relationships).
Everyone struggles. Is it "wrong" to be human? I can name countless situation where it can be seen as "the most wrong" by many. Think physical assault is the most harmful thing ever? Nope. It's harmful of course but no more or less so then other events that can lead to bad events.
Also adding there is such a thing as positive violence and harm (including but not limited to S/M. People that currently love me once wanted to kill me too). Among fear. When
controlled. You're not winning that argument. I endured it at first (eg: others being human) and now I even enjoy it (in different ways then what is negatively harmful of course), provided "worrying about concerns" isn't a factor. It's a matter of outletting those emotions in a positive manner and making the best of things instead of always bottling them up with each other. More on the receiving end of things myself. Turn worst times into best. Course, if someone thinks they can just walk up to me and abuse me when I don't like them then I just get out of dodge. But if I care about someone then I
understand (If they're lashing out uncontrolled I won't like it though). Others also understand me when I say I might become a monster myself and reassure me they wouldn't abandon me when I feel like I might be a danger (never been that much of one, but don't discount the possibility. Especially if I suspect I might lose my sanity due to depression). Though if I see something as "negatively harmful" then I point out how it brings such harm and how it might be avoided. The way people
think and what they
say tends to cause more harm in my experience. Or at least leads to the path of negative harm. There's a reason they say the pen is mightier then the sword. I'm lucky and can get people to admit when they're thinking things that aren't true. Change their "thinking habits". Others can be used to the illusion of what they prefer. Using "I'm me" as an excuse to not consider the reasons of things.
Regardless, I don't view things in right and wrong. So no, there isn't a right or wrong for me. You do something, there was a
reason for it (or many). Can you make the effort to try not to again? Is it wrong when you fail and snap? Is it as easy as you might think when it might be difficult as hell for them? Now the question I ask here is if YOU lectured someone about how "wrong" they are which isn't productive to getting someone to want to listen to you. It honestly can be a delicate art to talk to someone about how... flawed they are without coming across as though you're attacking what they did. Many like to think they have that talent, fewer actually do. It also requires BOTH sides knowing
exactly where they're at fault and admitting it (to themselves and each other. Former is more difficult) so they can work things out. Not just going "You're to blame". One could as easily say "You made me attack you for thinking things about me that aren't true". Obviously no one made anyone do anything. But irrational thinking can be just as dangerous as a physical attack. Note: Irrational thinking in general. Not just cheating. I can panic easily myself too. Never turns into anger for my part, but that's me. Turns into depression if anything. Still on you if you thought or did something that harmed me though, even if it's not physical. Me too if I do it. Frankly I got sanity to worry about. Should I start going about how wrong a lot of people are for doing that then? I have yet to see "You're wrong" change anyone's mind. I always see "Action and reaction" ending better. Personally I'd rather understand they're afraid which can lead to anger. Now that's not an excuse to do stupid shit of course but fear is always the ultimate reason. It leads to anger. As well as sadness. Funny how people often fixate on anger and act like "It's their own problem" when someone makes another sad. Which can potentially risk leading to being suicidal. No one's obligated, everyone is responsible for how they affect others. I actually say this as someone that once didn't make enough of an effort with someone that killed themselves. I no longer "blame" myself (and this should clue you in as to why I don't put up with blame anywhere. Other factors at play I'll not get into) but I AM responsible for being a reason that lead to the event. All I can do is learn from it.
Start being seen as wrong and it's only a matter of time until you start thinking "it's wrong to be you". Can speak from experience on that account. Understood the ex blaming me. Easier that way. But man, I should have made it about
responsibility. Not "self blame" (which was a result of HER blaming me. Hence my concern with anyone blaming anyone. Always counterproductive). It's because I know what it's like to hate "yourself" that I know what people that get angry go through. Or the destination they will ultimately reach if they keep lashing out at least. Others aside it's not pretty for them. Instead of "being seen" as a freak (which, let's face it, you are doing) you start seeing
yourself as that freak. I don't think in right and wrong but I don't think anyone deserves that either.