Loveglitch
New member
Hello. My wife (30F) and I (31F) have been together for over 13 years. We’re in a same-sex relationship and have been together since we were super young.
We’ve discussed potentially partially opening our relationship in the past, because she has had curiosity about being with men sexually. I was hesitant when we discussed it in the past, but willing to work towards it for her happiness. I’m not interested in being with anyone else sexually, male or female, at this point.
The conversation, to me, was never super-seriously discussed and fizzled over the years. We really haven’t really discussed it in about 3 years. When we did discuss it, I perceived it as a curiosity that was less serious than it apparently is.
She recently told me that she had sex with one of her male friends. She said that she didn’t see it as cheating at the time, because of conversations we have had in the past. She wants to continue having sex with this friend and says there are no romantic feelings with him whatsoever.
She’s expressed that she feels that this is a part of her that she has repressed for a long time and I completely understand her feelings of needing the explore that. I’m struggling with feelings of jealousy and insecurity but am doing my best to navigate them. I’m hoping to learn more about different types of ethical non-monogamy and how we can navigate this situation in the healthiest way for both of us possible.
I do feel that there are multiple layers to our situation specifically. We’re a same-sex couple, she thinks she may be bisexual after 13 years of presenting as lesbian (she’s struggling with the presenting aspect of this because she presents more masculine), the infidelity that got the ball rolling in a sense (this occurred less than a month ago), and my feelings as well of being insecure and anxious. I don’t want to disregard what she wants just because I’m hesitant. It’s just been a lot for me to take in and process. She’s been processing the thought of her being bisexual and experimenting with men for years, but I’ve only been let in on this as something she deeply needs/wants for less than a month and it followed her telling me she cheated on me, even if that’s not what she thought she was doing. We’re working on our communication as well. Like I said, I really just want to learn more and any advice as we navigate these changes in our relationship is greatly appreciated.
We’ve discussed potentially partially opening our relationship in the past, because she has had curiosity about being with men sexually. I was hesitant when we discussed it in the past, but willing to work towards it for her happiness. I’m not interested in being with anyone else sexually, male or female, at this point.
The conversation, to me, was never super-seriously discussed and fizzled over the years. We really haven’t really discussed it in about 3 years. When we did discuss it, I perceived it as a curiosity that was less serious than it apparently is.
She recently told me that she had sex with one of her male friends. She said that she didn’t see it as cheating at the time, because of conversations we have had in the past. She wants to continue having sex with this friend and says there are no romantic feelings with him whatsoever.
She’s expressed that she feels that this is a part of her that she has repressed for a long time and I completely understand her feelings of needing the explore that. I’m struggling with feelings of jealousy and insecurity but am doing my best to navigate them. I’m hoping to learn more about different types of ethical non-monogamy and how we can navigate this situation in the healthiest way for both of us possible.
I do feel that there are multiple layers to our situation specifically. We’re a same-sex couple, she thinks she may be bisexual after 13 years of presenting as lesbian (she’s struggling with the presenting aspect of this because she presents more masculine), the infidelity that got the ball rolling in a sense (this occurred less than a month ago), and my feelings as well of being insecure and anxious. I don’t want to disregard what she wants just because I’m hesitant. It’s just been a lot for me to take in and process. She’s been processing the thought of her being bisexual and experimenting with men for years, but I’ve only been let in on this as something she deeply needs/wants for less than a month and it followed her telling me she cheated on me, even if that’s not what she thought she was doing. We’re working on our communication as well. Like I said, I really just want to learn more and any advice as we navigate these changes in our relationship is greatly appreciated.
