Writing a book specifically about triads

L

lemonhead

New member
Hi everyone! It has been a while since I've posted. :)

I've been in a closed FFM triad for over two years now and given the dearth of resources (especially literature) on living as a committed group of three, I've decided to (literally) write the book.

I already have quite a few sources but I would love more. It's easy to find young, white FFM triads who have been together for two years or less but more challenging to find more diverse groups - people of colour, MMF, FFF or MMM triads, and triads that have been together five years or more. I welcome any contacts (the more the merrier!) but I would specifically like to make sure that these groups listed are represented in the book. While I will include case studies and the like, the book will mainly focus on general topics (like say, finances) in which I pull together input and experiences from a variety of sources. Sources may choose to remain anonymous if they choose.

If anyone has a lead on how to contact the FFF triad that gained some media attention in 2013/14 for getting married in Massachusetts (Kitten, Brynn and Doll), that would be really cool. OffbeatBride, the friendlies place to post a comment to them, is currently blocking comments (may be a glitch, will try again later).

You can contact me via the Contact form on my blog: http://wethedancers.com/contact-me/

Thanks in advance!
Lindsay
 
lemonhead said:
I've decided to (literally) write the book.
Click to expand...

Hi Lindsay.

As a fellow writer, I'd like to suggest (it's just my opinion!) that the book would be much more valuable and useful if you did not think of it as the book, but thought of it as a book, instead. The world has had too many the books. And even if yours is the first of its kind, it cannot really be the book on the matter.

</nitpicking>
 
(And there are already at least two books that cover "three people in love" - both are academic and completely different than what I'm working on, but I'm certainly not the first and *hopefully* won't be the last to cover the topic!)
 
Cool! I'll enjoy reading it when it appears!:)
 
Hi Lindsay,

I am in an MFM V. If my story would be helpful to your project, check out my blog, and I'll be happy to answer any questions you may have.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Thanks so much A Wonderland! Already done - Instagram has, surprisingly, by far been the best way to connect with other triads. Active part of the triad network there! (Incidentally, if anyone is looking for ways to connect with other triads, hashtags like #polytriad, #thelif3, #thruple, #throuple, etc are a great way to find people on Instagram.)

And thank you Kevin! I will definitely have a look and may be in touch shortly!

Lindsay
 
I'm curious as to your intended audience &/or purpose. Will this be about closed triads... or to aid extant triads in survival... or to help the "curious"... or to encourage dabblers/onlookers... or to gain positive media attention?

Speaking as a commercial writer/editor, there's nothing per se wrong with any of those things -- a writer without an audience is a pitiable little creature.:D However, there's only so much you can cram between two covers before the text starts to resemble Grandma's junk drawer.

IMNSHO, until (relatively) recently, there've been two types of nonmonogamy in the public imagination: big sweaty piles of more-or-less happenstance (Plato's Retreat, Sandstone Retreat, "promiscuity," "swinging" in general, even nudism/Naturism), & closed triads (which one sarcastic ass referred to as "regular marriage, with more people"). Group marriage, intimate networks, & communes fell into the first category, of course.

When I was working on my bibliography, I remember weeding out all sorts of salacious novels & "studies" of "the threesome." Some I discarded not from of abject trashiness, but simply because there were so many!! A few had to go because (at best) they were nothing but defensive propaganda, right at the ragged edge of damning all other forms of responsible nonmonogamy as immoral, destructive, dangerous, etc., but triads were "just as moral" as married dyads.

Now I'm going to have to dig into the files & see if I still have the original list...

Doing a brief search, I find the concept "triad" near-synonymous with "threesome" which is strongly linked to "fantasy" "wife" "girlfriend" "couples" -- that & romance novels seem to be the primary markets, by far.

IME, people who're actually in a triad & couples "looking for The One" commonly exhibit a particular trait: they already know EXACTLY what they're doing & want no outside advice at all, even (or perhaps especially) from people experienced in triadic intimacy. Seems like it all begins & ends with Ethical Sluttiness.

(One criticism levelled at Polyamory: Roadmaps is that it doesn't tell people how to have group sex -- you know, the "Tab A into Slot A" stuff.)

So, defining your intended audience might help determine whether a particular focus is going to gain an appreciable readership.

Bon chance!! I look forward to your progress.
 
Last edited:
Ravenscroft - thank you! My primary intended audience is active triads, be they closed or open. Main secondary audiences include people who are curious about triads or being in a triad, as well as active vees.

IME so far (being active within triad community circles online for the past couple of years; in addition to having been in a couple triads and being an active member of my local poly group for about five years now), active triads, at least within the first year or two, crave cultural reference for their experience. The triads I have interviewed so far have expressed either a) frustration at not seeing their relationship reflected in popular media or legitimate writing and/or b) excitement at the thought of seeing positive reflections of triads in either. Some have started the path toward working with reality TV productions only to find (fairly predictably) that the aim of the production is to sensationalize. They (the triads I've talked to) looking to normalize the image of plural marriage beyond what Sister Wives has done.

I suppose the triads that aren't looking for any guidance/advice/insight aren't the ones I'm running into in forums and on social media! LOL

Thanks again for your input. I appreciate it!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top