Safer Sex - Standards, Practices, Information & Resources

C

Ceoli

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Quath mentioned that it would be helpful to have a thread about STIs and such. I've been meaning for a while to post a thread about safe sex practices. So here it is.

What are your practices, rules, guidelines or any other things you follow to protect yourself and keep yourself healthy? Here are my general practices:

  • I get tested every six months, including a pap smear
  • Any partners I have an ongoing sexual relationship with also need to get tested every six months.
  • I regularly visually examine my bits to make sure they look okay.
  • I talk about sexual histories with my partners before any kind of sexual contact.
  • I use barriers with all genital contact (including surgical gloves and dental dams) until I see paperwork of STI test results that are less than six months old. (Don't knock the gloves and the dam! They can be pretty fun!)
  • I do not have PIV sex without seeing paperwork of STI test results that are less than six months old (even with a condom).
  • If I am fluid bonded with a partner, we agree to follow the same safer sex practices with other partners. I also want to know what other partners my partner may be fluid bonded with.

Let's talk about this. :)
 
I am overdue for a pap, and now will probably be more overdue, seeing as I just took my boy there to discuss my many partners. Just a little embarrassed.

I am thinking that now that I am about to turn 40 I will have to start getting those dreaded mammograms.

As for safer sex, I am in a poly-fi relationship so we don't check all that often. Mono and I did a test when we met and that was it. My husband just had one done, as he has a boyfriend. He uses a condom with me and the boyfriend. I don't give him blow jobs that often, and besides, he is super-safe sex guy, so I don't worry. I'm fluid bonded with Mono, and it's a good thing too, because there is lots of fluid going on!

My tertiary and I use condoms, but our relationship is mostly based on SM, so I am not all that worried about STIs. He isn't seeing anyone else but me and my husband. If he does, then he will tell us and we will act accordingly, and test again.

None of my men use dental dams. I guess they think that I am clean as I am only with them. The only woman I have been with in the last year has never had sex before and now has only had sex with me. So she is clean.

I don't really think I would engage in any sex that meant fussing around with protection too much, unless there was a SM theme to it, as I don't think I would be very entertained. I like my poly-fi situation of being able to get down and dirty and be confident that I am safe, and so are my loves.
 
redpepper said:
I don't really think I would engage in any sex that meant fussing around with protection too much, unless there was a SM theme to it, as I don't think I would be very entertained. I like my poly-fi situation of being able to get down and dirty and be confident that I am safe, and so are my loves.
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Eh, it's not that much of a fuss actually, and dental dams with lube are just fun, even if you don't need to use them for protection.

But honestly, I've only had to worry about that once, since with most of my partners, we've usually done all the other stuff well before we get to the point of sleeping together. But I like to have those steps in place.
 
Yes, dental dams and lube, my mind can go there... and I certainly experienced that years ago.

Sigh... if I had a woman in my life I would certainly entertain the idea!!! :D
 
Why is it that you can go into any drug store and buy condoms but dental dams are so much more difficult to come by?
 
Don't knock it till you try it, Mono. It can add some nice variety.
 
Ceoli said:
Don't knock it till you tried it, Mono. It can add some nice variety.
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HAHA! I don't see how. I like to consume my partner… literally. Maybe an edible dental dam?

That would drive me insane, and not in a good way. ;)
 
There are flavored varieties. But who says you only have to use your mouth, anyway? It's all about thinking outside of the box, so to speak. :)
 
Well, I've only been practicing polyamory since January, and haven't been lucky enough to have gotten with a cis woman, and so haven't had to think about dams. But I'm with Mono. I would hate to go down on a woman with latex in between. Well, I wouldn't *hate* it per se, but it wouldn't be ideal, that's for sure.

I use condoms for intercourse (vaginal and anal), but don't use a condom for oral. My primary and I are fluid bonded and don't use protection (and I am post menopausal and don't need to worry about birth control). I'd been mono for 34 years, and she had been (in practice, not philosophy) for five, and the last two years of her previous relationship, they'd stopped having sex. Pixi is poly in practice though, and always used safer sex when she was practicing. She gets tested every six months as part of her gender transitioning. I've never been.

Maybe it's terrible to give oral without a condom on the penis, but from what I read, risks are low. I would watch out for herpes lesions, of course.
 
Magdlyn said:
Maybe it's terrible to give oral without a condom on the penis, but from what I read, risks are low. I would watch out for herpes lesions, of course.
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Nah, it's not terrible!

When I read my list, it does seem really stringent, but I think I basically put it out that way to make sure that my potential partners are approaching sex with some sensibility. Like I said, I've only had to use dams for protection once, since most of the time, all that stuff gets cleared up before we even get in bed together. I guess it's important for me to have partners who aren't freaked out about seriously thinking about their safer sex practices, so it's not so much about only going near people who are "clean". But I also recognize that as a young single woman without a long history of monogamy, I need to pay attention to things a bit more.
 
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